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"You surprise me, Sarah," he said, turning his head to kiss the top of mine.
"How so?"
"That was rather... unusual behavior for someone who went through what you did last week"
"Oh, that. I just wanted you to know that I meant what I said. And also some other things I can't put into words. It seemed the only way I could get my message across."
"What message was that?"
"That I... I love you... and that I trust you not to hurt me again... and that I forgive you. It just seemed much easier to show you than to stumble over words."
"I see," he said, and then fell silent. "You mean it wasn't that you were so knocked off your feet by my cooking and good looks?"
I snorted out a laugh. "That, too."
"Me, too, Sarah," he said after a pause.
"What?"
"I love you, too."
"You mean you weren't just knocked off your feet by my thorough seduction?"
"That, too," he chuckled.
When the silence fell, it stayed. For the second time in as many days, I fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 10 years agoI enjoyed this story. However you missed many opportunities that you had created. This is great shame. But please do not give up writing for literotica. I will keep you on "check-out" list for future tales. Thank you.
Anonymousabout 10 years agoBlah, it started out promising, but there is just no emotion. Disappointing ending, she was raped, did nothing about it, so was she really? He is an ass that let the alleged rape happen, there are no other characters that add anything to the story, she gave in to the supposed perfect gods gift to women too easily after he let her be raped, its like you couldn't be bothered fleshing it out or taking pride in your writing.
Anonymousabout 10 years agoThe protagonist is plastic and the BF is pliable clay.Story could be longer but you end without a blast-tame and lame.The story should between 2 and 3.
Bluestarsabout 10 years agoJust read the story straight thro and am struck by what it could have been and what it was not.
What is there is well written and reads easily. However:
1- whole story reads as emotionally empty
2- absolutely no description of Sarah - could be anyone
3 - no supporting cast - only characters are Sarah (emotionally devoid nondescript female protagonist); Stefano (fantasy perfection man non hero); Professor B (exists to get the two together & pops back to affirm their relationship is socially acceptable); Mom (one phone call to reintroduce ex boyfriend); Gonzales (ex boyfriend and now violent rapist)... Oh and "Jack" - appears in last chapter - who is Jack???
4- Rape scene/reaction/lack of intervention - hitting somebody in the head with a spoon when you could ram it into their eye? Showing off the bruises??
All in all it reads like a synopsis of a story with the sex scenes expanded on. A lot is explained if you imagine the heroine to be heavily sedated throughout the story.
Having said all that, expand the dimensions of what is there and you're into classic romance territory. This means flesh it out with a cast of friends and family, give the heroine a physical presence and a range of emotions/some emotional depth, get a more realistic post-rape story (and why not get the ex convicted whilst you're there). Hope is not lost :-)
