You Always Regret

"I take it that you waited until after she left before you took off?"

"Yeah! I turned my business over to my employees in exchange for a share of future profits and took a good chunk of our savings, but not all of it. I left her the house and everything else."

"You're sure that she did what you thought she was going to do?"

"No! I don't want to know or need to know any more than I do. I don't need the grief."

"Have you heard from her since?"

"Nope!"

We sat quietly for a while and then Carla excused herself and went to bed. I slept on deck that night.

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A storm of some sort blew in the next day. By supper time it was pretty bad. Jaime and Marisol spent quite a bit of time putting out lines and anchors or something like that, to prepare for the night. They seemed to know what they were doing, so I felt comfortable with the situation.

All I could think of was the lyrics from an old Queen song. 'Thunder and lightning, very, very frighting. Galileo, Galileo'. I don't know which was worse, the bright flashes or the loud claps of thunder. It was hard sleeping and the fact that Carla kept shaking me didn't help.

"What the hell do you want?"

"This storm is really bad, John. Come down to the cabin with me. Quickly."

"It's okay. I am okay. Don't worry about me. Go back to bed."

"I am not worried about you, asshole. I'm worried about me. Get your ass down to that cabin. Now!" She was tugging the hell out of my arm.

I spent the rest of the night with my arms around her. Most of the time she had the covers pulled up over her head. By the next morning, things were calm and quiet. I woke up with a boob in my hand and a raging hard-on. She seemed to be awake and aware of both conditions but did not know what to do, so she just laid there rigid. As smoothly as I could I pulled my butt back and slid my hand away. I have no idea how it got up under her nightgown.

As we got rearranged in the bed, she turned to face me.

"Thank you, John. I needed that." She slid out of bed and went to the head. I had no idea what she was referring to. I went topside and relieved, myself overboard.

Carla was very friendly the rest of the day. Jamie and Marisol were enjoying making us feel uncomfortable about our night together. The comments and jabs were continuous all day. In fact, Carla seemed to get in a few herself. I was more embarrassed than she was.

That evening, after a few beers on deck, Carla grabbed my hand and we went to the cabin together. We did not get much sleep that night. It was a new experience for me. My first woman other than Jodie. It was different, but also the same. Hard to describe, but I did truly enjoy myself. I felt no guilt.

Unfortunately, it was also our last night aboard the Yankee Clipper.

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On the way home, our driver gave us the latest update. It seems that Jodie left Boquete after a week, and returned home. Carla's husband, however, just disappeared along with his two companions. They found the rental car in the middle of nowhere, but no occupants. We dropped Carla off at her apartment and an hour later I was home.

The first person I met the next morning was Billy Jean King. She spent most of the week with Jodie, while I was gone. Jodie spent a couple of days flashing my picture around town. It didn't take long for her to figure out that I was now Mickey Mantel. Other than the PPA guys nobody was being secretive about me. They just didn't have any information to give her except where I lived. When she realized that I wasn't coming back, she gave up and left. She didn't talk much, but she did reveal to Billy Jean that I left because she screwed up. That is all that she said. Not much of an explanation, but then again it was second-hand. However, if that is how she actually felt about it, my leaving was the right choice.

For the next few months, things were fairly normal, except for the fact that I was spending two or three days a week in David and Carla was spending a couple of days a week in Boquete. There was never any deep emotional attachment between us, it was just a great friendship. She finally decided that I was not going to move to David, so she found us a bigger, better apartment in Boquete, and we merged.

Carla decided to take up watercolor painting and I got involved in serious exercising. So serious, that Willie Mays, Sandy Koufax, and I decided to open our own workout facility, a gym so to speak. It was a fun little project. A whole bunch of the expats in the area had unused exercise equipment sitting around not being used. It is funny how people buy that stuff, not realizing that it doesn't work if you don't use it. In a short time, we had more exercise gear than we needed. More than half of it wasn't gym quality and we ended up having to get rid of it. Nobody seemed to be insulted by that. They just wanted it gone.

Monica Seles was really glad to see us open up so that she could start up some yoga and Zumba classes. We charged a low monthly fee just to cover rent, utilities, and insurance.

The gym thing was going well and Carla was excited about her painting. Other things however were not as rosy.

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The PPA turned out to be a bucket of worms. Hector tried his best to set everything up and keep it running, but it was just too complicated. A few of the guys had some passport problems. The tax situation was a mess. Odd as it may seem, the banking got a bit confusing. After several group meetings, it was decided to do away with the program. Everybody agreed to it, except Joe Dimaggio. Hector agreed to make an exception for him.

It took a couple of weeks, but eventually, everyone had new driver's licenses and bank accounts. Our old passports were still good. The only downside now was that it would be easier for someone to find us. We still kept Hector on as a legal advisor and confidant. We also kept our bug bags, just in case.

A year had passed and I didn't even realize it. The checks were still arriving every month. They varied in amounts but were always more than adequate. What made things nice was that Carla had way more money than I did and was not stingy. We were living the good life and wanted for nothing.

I had no contact with Jodie or my sons since the last time I called them.

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The next six months were pretty active. One day I came home to find Carla sitting on the porch with a stranger. Michael Randazzo had come from West Chester to spend a week with his daughter. They had not spoken since she left. Her mother was unable to make the trip due to a heart problem. I felt a little uneasy, but he quickly put my mind to rest. He seemed sincerely appreciative that his daughter was happy and was being taken care of. I felt a little uncomfortable, especially since I was almost twenty years older than her.

Michael and I spend several hours together over the next week. He apologized for allowing the problem with Carla's husband to get out of hand. He never came out and said it, but I got the idea that Anthony Crupi never did return to the states and never would. I didn't ask for an explanation. It was his monkey and his circus. He had tried to get the charges against Carla dismissed but didn't have any luck. He also asked me about my marital situation and seemed sincerely interested in my answer. The week went fast. Carla was happy and I got the benefit of it.

Before leaving he took me aside. "John, Carla needs to see her mother. She can't come back as Carla Crupi, but she could make it as Carla Terrell. Think about it." I interpreted that as his approval.

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Six weeks later I got another surprise; my son Greg showed up.

"You're a hard man to find, Dad, but not impossible."

"Sorry for not keeping in touch, but I assume you know the situation."

"Actually, Dad, none of us do. We have all tried, but Mom refuses to tell us anything. All she will say is that it was her fault and nothing else."

"It's been way over a year and I haven't heard a thing from her. She showed up over a year ago and I avoided her the whole time she was here. I was still pretty raw at the time."

"Raw from what, Dad? Are you going to give us a clue?"

"Nope! I said too much already. Now, what the hell are you doing here."

"Do you know where Boca Del Toro is?"

"Sure! It's about five hours North of here. Why?"

"I bought a fifty percent partnership is a dive shop. I am here to complete all of the paperwork. I will be moving down next month."

"What is your mother doing?"

"She was pretty depressed for a while, then she got a new job. She is working at a junior high school cafeteria. She tried to sell the house, but couldn't without your signature so she rented it out and got an apartment. We talked to her about getting a more upscale job, but she got upset and told us to mind our own business. Between the rent, she is getting for the house and her salary, I guess she is doing okay."

Just then Carla walked in. It was obvious that she was living here and neither of us had any idea of hiding it.

"Hi! You must be Greg. John talks a lot about you."

Greg was surprised and it showed on his face. Carla laughed.

"It's okay, Greg. Just think of me as your father's live-in housekeeper. Who wants a beer?" She had a way of breaking the ice. Greg was suddenly comfortable with the situation. We talked a while longer and then went out for supper.

Before Greg left to back to the states, I gave him a power of attorney so that Jodie could sell the house. A month later he was back to get started in his new endeavor.

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I had had no contact with the business since I left. That was the plan. The checks kept coming and I had no reason to stick my nose into it. It was a couple of months later when I started to notice that my monthly deposits from the company had increased significantly. I had left Gary Jones in charge of the company and felt that it was time to check in with him.

"Gary! This is John."

"Damn! It's about time. You have been gone almost two years. What is going on?"

"I was going to ask you the same question. I saw a big jump in the monthly checks and got curious. Is there something that I should know about?"

"A couple of months ago we got a visit from a company from down towards Philly called Empire Industries. Did you ever hear of them?"

Of course, I heard of them. Empire Industries was owned by the Randazzo family. All of this must have taken place shortly after I met Carla's father.

"Yeah! I heard of them. I know one of the owners, Michael Randazzo. What happened to bring this all about?"

"They explained to us that they had a lot of miscellaneous type jobs that were cropping up that did not fit in with their normal operations. They wanted to subcontract the work out and wondered if we were interested. We couldn't see a downside to the offer, so we agreed to try it for ninety days. It worked out great for us. We have a lot of new work in Chester and Montgomery counties, and I had to hire twelve more men. I also had to buy three more trucks and some other equipment."

"Is everything under control or do you need some help?"

"John, it's all fine. We would like to have you back though. I'd haven't had a day off since you left. I could really use a week at the shore."

We both had a small laugh at his suggestion. "Gary, let me think on that a while. I'll get back to you." I could hear him smirking on the other end.

"Gary, has Jodie been by at all?"

"To be honest John, she was only here one time. About a week after you left, she showed up. I explained to her that you were no longer associated with the company, just like you told me to. I know that she wanted to know more, but she couldn't bring herself to ask. She didn't cry or get too upset. Seemed a bit sad more than anything else. We never saw her again."

I had a light but serious discussion with Carla that evening and she swore that she knew nothing about what her daddy had done. She did think it was funny, however.

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Months passed and everything was going well. I got a surprise at Christmas when Terry showed up. Greg had shared everything with both of his brothers, but carefully kept most of it from his mother. Of course, she knew where I was and I am sure that she suspected that Greg and I had gotten together since he was in Panama also. He just never shared anything with her and she never asked.

Terry spent two days with Carla and me in Boquete and the rest of the time in Bocas Del Toro with Greg. Greg had promised to get him SCUBA recertified while he was here.

Terry brought two things that Jodie wanted him to give to me. The first was a check for two hundred and ten thousand dollars. My share from the sale of the house. It was her decision, not mine. The second thing was a final divorce decree. There was no letter, explanation, or message. Just the two envelopes. When he left, I had no message or letter for him to take back.

Closure!

I had no regrets.

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Two months later Carla Terrell had her new passport and was on the way to see her mother with her new husband. It was a round-trip ticket.