All Comments on 'You Can't Do That! Ch. 01'

"She blamed age, physical condition, low libido." - By "Loving Wives" logic, that means he can have an affair, since he can have sex more than she can!

I'm sorry but I don't ever give top marks on unfinished works. But 3-Stars from me on a chapter 1 is actually a good score. It shows you still have my interest. But if the good doctor doesn't get a deserved retribution, your final score will fall like a bowling ball rolling downstairs. As far as Sheila is concerned, there is still time to salvage the marriage or cast her adrift. Her future is actually anticlimactic at this point.

It's a good setup, wife married for years, gets bored and takes liberties that takes her down a one way path. While she sees it as OK for her, if her husband would have done it, she would have gone nuclear on his ass. So far she hasn't given a reason. Hope that is forthcoming.

I anticipate starting the next segment shortly.

Great characters. A very engaging story. Will the remaining chapters be in Loving Wives?

Good story, but too many times had the wrong word, like 'for' instead of 'from'.

I love the way you described the in and outs of writing a short story.......in a short story!

I love the way you can write your stories so we the readers can feel and relate to exactly what the characters are thinking and feeling. Great job, but your talent makes me envious.

Woodbgood

"To quote Bruce Willis, it would be 'Happy trails, motherfucker.'"

You're actually paraphrasing BW, I seem to remember "Yippee-Ki-Yay, Motherfucker."

Been a while since saw the film, I could be incorrect.

Five stars, good stuff.

Can't wait to read the other two chapters, Good Job! And, by the way, the correct quote is "Yippee-Ki-Yay Motherfuck." Keep writing; I like it.

I liked it and I didn't really lost the track of time while reading it..

The first time thru, awesome.5

When I grow up, I want to write as good as you!

Hooked

I often am amazed at how you (most authors on this genre ) and slowness of individuals to react writing conflicts

Maybe just me but

When something (s) change I want to know what is going on

Why would he want to be with that bitch from the first page?

I find this starting as good as your others! The descriptions of characters, emotions, and even places allows the reader to fully feel the story.

At the very end I thought the legal advice was wrong for his situation. Forget arbitration. He has Becky by the short hairs. He is going to get a divorce regardless, but if he threatens Becky's reputation, her job, the Doctor's job and his marriage, he has enough leverage to get things to go his way. Why settle for arbitration? He has the pat hand.

While the premise may exist - without much probability - within the realm of possibility, it is very difficult to buy into a randy womanizer Doctor in his early 60's cheating with a woman who is at least 55 years old. A 30 to 40 yr old nurse, quite likely. But 55? Even if both are desperate, just doesn't pass "GO".

Which makes it even more unlikely that the wife: (1) wouldn't realize this was just a fling of very short duration, and (2) wouldn't burn the bridges of her marriage being aware of reconciling her near future to either continue the bliss or live it alone at the desperate age of 55.

So why suddenly become a bitch, and even more unlikely, why move out - unless she was fully executing the end of her marriage irrespective of how the dalliance concludes... And therefore why the drama, remorse, lying and all the rest? No purpose.

Whether you buy into it or not, stupid people make stupid decisions; you see it everyday! If you want an example look at politics during the last few weeks. Sadly, one bad decision often brings a second one. You have an older doctor who can't admit that he is getting long in the tooth and a woman who is afraid she is losing her appeal to the opposite sexy - a classic disaster in the making. Thank you Q for a good story.

Pretty good story, plot developement and all, took him awhile to realize what was really going on.

Glad he's getting pissed. Us guys are dumb and don't pick up on clues and signals women send why can' t they just sit down and talk???? Ben there done that, good story

Hogue is awful

Another lying, cheating, bitch wanting to find herself. Unhappily for her, she couldn’t hide from the P.I. and she’s busted. Great opening chapter.

Nicely done. Though it seems like the marriage had been dysfunctional for a hell of a long time before anything drastic happened.

Knowing this author, I would bet good money a reconciliation ending is incoming. Would be a waste of time after this great start.

Good start. I hope there is a follow up. Gave it four stars. I rarely give five stars until I have read the complete work. I wouldn't bet which way tis will turn out.

I don't know why I haven't read this one before, Maybe I did and just forgot about it. I blame the Lipitor. Good story, wish I could write that well. I'm really identifying with the character - always wanted to be a writer, and did go through a bad divorce, a long time ago.

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On to the next chapter. Then, maybe if the mood strikes me, I'll try to work on the Hogue Chronicles - wish they were all together as Chap 1, Chap2 etc instead of hunting for them. Yes I'm lazy.

nicely written good storyline and felt close to the main character

PGUK

Five stars.

I'm enjoying the ride.

This is my 3rd read of this. I kinda hope this s a reflection of a step up when you are writing while getting paid.

If nothing else, get a Patreon account so we can read early and happily compensate you for hours of great entertainment and great reading.

You deserve.

LOL almost a "we need to talk" but she refuses to talk. Cut the Bitch loose and have a happy life

Compelling characters, deliberate pacing, lots of room for development. No sympathy for the soon-to-be ex-wife. Some curiosity about lawyer and agent characters. Hope he doesn’t go after the niece.

"If you can't get your readers invested in the characters, they're not going to read your stories, and more importantly, if they do they won't remember them"

--- I wholeheartedly agree with this statement and too bad more amatuer writers on here don't think to do this.

It was a 5 star story until the last half a page where the wimp agreed to a meeting, counseling and arbitration. You have her, the doctor, and the hospital by the short hairs and you wimp out? Even though most of the information can't be used in a court of law it can be used in the court of public opinion. You don't think the doctor would move heaven and earth to keep his wife from finding out? I know that this is a RAAC story, but that this point the wife abandoned him, fucked at least one other guy while totally cutting him out. At this point he should have been out for blood instead of rolling over like a puss.

Thank you for a wonderful first chapter.

i just started 1st part, haven't finished all of it

its roller coaster, intriguing

That story was fun to read until Roy got himself a set of silicone balls that he bought at Walmart or a discount sex toy store.

No more than 3*

BJ

MMMMMMMM as it says in the ending of this chapter sex sells, not a lot of it here at the moment

Good start, lots of mumbo-jumbo on the business aspect. I think mumbo-jumbo on any topic is qhlm1 trademark. Meaning, he is not spending much effort on details.

But I like this author's plot devices, I am a sucker for plots so even if a story is bad but has a solid plot I enjoy it. This author has a knack for plots while most of LW writers just regurgitate the same junk over and over.

I am no critic but I enjoy very much your storis and read some Tjmore than twice. Thank you.

This is one of the best stories I read from this author

Conclusion?

Good lead in story.

Very fun to read. The actions of the wife should be better described. As is, she’s almost an unknown quantity.

Bill S.

Why did he stay married to Sharon for fo many years!!

THIS MC IS SUCH A LOSER FOR STAYING WITH SHEILA FOR DO MANY YEARS! PATHETIC MAN

Love this full story !

The MC just isn't a nice character, you can see it with his interactions and attitude. It's quite unfortunate but by the time you get to discover his wife is cheating you kind of feel sorry for her and understand why. Which is, I expect, the exact opposite of what you were aiming for ... I'd been expecting to hate her and want her burnt, but I just felt sad for her.

Here's hoping it improves.

Clearly they had been falling apart for many years. The MC had become a creature of habit as men often do but once broken out of it he became a tyrant. Shelia on the other hand is frustrated, manipulative and what I call pseudo-bright (thinks she's clever but she's just not as clever as she thinks) and when she learns that it will be painful.

I haven't read the other parts yet so this comment pertains only to part 1. It's very well written and I can engage with both the main characters. I haven't picked a side yet. Hopefully the story has a twist which will bring me out in favour of one of the parties.

Very well written and I'm pleased it's in chapter form (having stayed up late reading some of you other 9 page excellent work)

I like the build up of tension and drama.

Also that it is more about feelings than explicit sex.

In real life, just because a marriage has problems, it does not automatically follow that either want a divorce until years after the 'optimum time' -- and in practice defining the best time to divorce is decidedly non obvious in practice. Children also add complications. Also there is often a desire to remedy rather than to split. My second marriage is on going, and already lasted about double the number of years of my first.

Good one, chief. 5 stars. On to the next part. He is extremely tolerant, though. If the bitch wasn't cheating on him before she left, it was only because she was a self-centered narcissistic bitch. Dump her, please.

The BEAR

The brown stuff sure hit the fan when Roy, or was it Pete or was it Larry, (all three names were used for the MC at one point or another) stopped being a doormat for Shelia. I guess the author finally settled on Roy for the MC, no big deal, just a little funny. I'm wondering if Roy was true to his word and dedicated his first book to Kelsie, his granddaughter? I guess once a doormat it's tough to completely change because he reverted to form when he decided on arbitration instead of burning her and the doctor. Still good reading.

When a wife of 32 years just ups and leaves and has an upscale condo, the first thing you have to assume as a husband is an affair. Not to mention the multiple months of her being bitchy to him beforehand. Get a PI. He had plenty of money. Certainly once he had her served with the separation papers and they knew where she was. It is ludicrous to just be "hopeful". She effectively separated anyways. 85% of all separations end in divorce. Seriously the lawyer said she eas dressed up hot to trot when she was served. Please. Be smart get a PI. He waited an extra (what?) two months. Also really surprised that a woman on her early to mid 50s after being married 32 years woukd just suddenly take up with a 62 year old ER doctor. That makes zero sense. In amthe real world, this woukd not have been her first affair. However, her turning into a real bitch before she moved out, suggests it may have been. How does that compute? Most women post menopause lose libido. Unless their marriage sucks from an emotional standpoint, they don't blow up the security of their last 20-25 years with their husband to bang an older guy for months. Really strains credulity. Either she had been cheating on and off throughout their marriage or she has developed some newly formed psychiatric problems. And seriously when just up and leaving and not disclosing her location for weeks until he files for separation, she just completely unveils everything. Did she think she was trading up with the older doctor? She obviously planned to leave some time before she did? Is the 61 year old some sex god? Rofl. Seems ludicrous.

She sounds like my ex, a sociopath with intimacy issues. She's going to be a lonely old divorcee. Anyway, great story, you're one of the few writers on here who knows punctuation and spelling. BZ

This is a reread for me, Still a good job. Thanks for your writing.

Really enjoyed the story, but your research is flawed; religious sites carry the most viruses and porn sites are wayyyyy down the list.