You Can't Throw Everything Away Ch. 02

"All right," she said, quietly. "I'll go."

Another night in an empty bed... it felt wrong, after so many years. He wanted another drink but rum wasn't the answer to his problems. He didn't drink. He could easily become an alcoholic like his uncle and then be useless to himself and anyone who might depend on him, like JoAnne... or, even Eileen, he guessed.

He reached for his phone. "Mom, I need some advice

After speaking to his mother, Bill's mind rolled through his problems and different scenarios to deal with it. JoAnne's agreeing to see a counselor at least paved the way to some resolution, good... or, bad.

**********

The next morning, he finally woke with a smile and went to the office in a much brighter mood.

"Good morning, Eileen. How was your night?"

"Fine, thank you," she said, still surprised when she ended up going home... alone.

"Whatever you do, don't go see the ape movie. It's horrible."

"Uh, yeah, sure." She shifted on her feet. "There's a new client scheduled at nine-thirty."

"Good. We need to drum up more business, somehow." Especially now, he thought, especially now. "Let's see what we can do."

He took their proposal to the other partners and the afternoon was occupied with the back-and-forth he had come to expect every time something different was brought up.

Either it was his conversation with his mother or the residual anger toward his wife but he resigned, dissolving his part of the partnership. As he approached his office for the last time, he found her in the hallway, already holding two boxes with all their things.

"So, where do we go, now?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't really thinking. You don't have to quit, too."

"We could hear it out here. They're stupid." As they walked to the elevator, Eileen put her head down and whispered, "I've got copies of all your emails and client accounts. We can start calling them, tomorrow."

"Well, then, I guess dinner, tonight and we can plan what we're going to do?"

"Of course... let's get out of here before they think of it."

He set his glass down. "First thing, we've got to see a real estate agent to find a decent office lease. I'd like to move closer to the South Bay. Century City is WAY too expensive for us, now. While we're doing that, we can put together some kind of letter to everyone explaining we're setting up a new office in case they want to come with us."

He looked at his ribs. They tasted as good as they looked.

"Thanks for taking me here," she said. "I've never been to Lucille's before."

"You know, if we can find something close enough, we could eat here whenever we wanted. There're plenty of restaurants here."

"There's got to be plenty of office space available, right now. I've already picked out a few brokers we can call," she ventured.

"Great. Tell you what. You pick whoever you like and we'll meet there tomorrow, say... about ten, how's that?"

"Wonderful... you going to eat that last rib?"

**********

Two days later, Bill and JoAnne sat in Dr. Donna Hadley's office for their first counseling session.

"Thank you for seeing us, Doctor. As you can imagine, we've some serious issues to get through," Bill said. He specifically wanted a woman counselor.

"You're welcome. Hopefully, I'll be a good fit for your needs and you'll both feel comfortable with me... and, each other. These initial sessions are very important and if you're not comfortable, I'll help you find someone else."

Doctor Hadley lifted her coffee cup and took a sip. "You're going to be sharing with me your most personal and intimate details of your life, your marriage. But, this is the most important opportunity to 'restart' your marriage." She set her cup down and patted her lips with a napkin.

"You've been married ten years. That's wonderful, considering the number of divorces occurring today. Let's have some, well, let's call them 'ground rules,' shall we? Respect your partner and don't, well, try not to interrupt and we'll do the best we can."

They both nodded their heads in agreement although he thought JoAnne was hesitant. It had to be his imagination, he thought, otherwise, what was the point?

"Well, let's start. Trust, love and commitment are the foundation for a happy, loving and successful marriage. JoAnne, why don't you go first? Why are we here, today?"

There was no hesitation. "He's cheated on me."

"And, you know this because?"

"It's in the book." JoAnne handed the book over to Doctor Hadley who looked at the cover and set it down on the table. "Chapter three..." JoAnne said, as if repeating it made it truer.

"All right, let's start with that, since it seems to be the biggest problem you are experiencing. When did you make this discovery?"

Bill felt his heart beating harder. As much as he was curious to discover what his wife had to say, hearing it put so bluntly was unsettling, almost as if he had indeed cheated.

"One day, about three years ago, I was watching The View, you know, on television and they had this author on who had just written a book about how to tell if your husband was cheating on you."

JoAnne looked at Bill, her face starting to redden in anger. "I saw my... I saw Bill on every page in chapter three. So, I started taking notes and comparing what he was doing with what was in the book."

While he was listening, Bill's hands had scrunched up his pants' cloth until it hurt. He stopped when he saw the doctor watching him.

"Well, let's go through these, shall we?" asked the doctor.

Bill thought it was interesting that she hadn't asked him if it was true or not. On the phone, he had sworn he was innocent and maybe, he believed, she had accepted that. After all, HE was the one asking for counseling.

"Uh, yes, thank you," JoAnne said. She glared at Bill and he turned away rather than stare back. "The book said that if he's gone a lot or works late, he's cheating. Ever since he got that car, he goes to car shows."

"Your husband is a lawyer. Don't you feel it reasonable that he would work late at times?"

"Once in a while, sure but he stays late, probably once or twice a week and I don't see him until seven or so."

"Seven o'clock... in the evening. You wait dinner for him?"

"No, I leave it in the fridge and he can microwave it."

"Do you sit with him while he eats?"

"Oh, no, that's when Entertainment Tonight comes on."

"I see," Hadley said, writing it down on her pad.

"So, when he came home, late, as you say, he'd have to eat alone in the kitchen."

"Well, yes, of course. I'm in the den with the TV."

"Did you ever go with him to these car shows you mentioned?"

"Not after the first one. A bunch of old cars and walking around and around looking at them; people should grow up. They're just a bunch of old cars, that's all."

Hadley wrote some more, a sour look on her face even though she tried to remain impassive.

"So, you only went the one time?"

"Yes... it was boring."

"All right. What else did you learn from the book?"

"The way he acted indicated he was being unfaithful," JoAnne said, harshly.

"In what way?"

"He was being too nice and the book said that meant he was feeling guilty about what he was doing. He was trying to cover up what he was doing... trying to trick me."

Hadley set her notebook down and took another sip of her coffee. She could tell it was going to be a long morning. Fortunately, after speaking to Bill over the phone, she had blocked out three hours, just in case.

"What was he doing, specifically? I mean, you said he was being too nice."

"He wanted to go out to eat, a lot... and, he bought me a diamond bracelet for no reason. It wasn't Valentine's Day or my birthday or anything."

"Please, go on."

"He bought some new suits and started going to Sport Clips for haircuts."

"And, when did this happen?" The doctor glanced at Bill.

"Right after he made partner. What was wrong with his old suits? Why did he need to change his appearance? Then, he started jogging... when he wasn't working on the car."

"He did this, alone?"

"I didn't want to run around. We could have gone to the mall."

"OK, why don't we take a little break. Would you like some cookies?"

Bill looked grateful; he was hungry but didn't know how to say anything without looking foolish. "Yes, thank you." He wanted... he needed the sugar rush.

"Good," said the doctor as she stood up and walked out of her office. This, she thought, was going to be a very difficult case. If he wasn't cheating, he had a great reason to.

"Good, let's get started, again. Mrs. Hiquet, you were saying?"

"He takes too long when we're having sex."

"Yes, your husband mentioned that. Why don't we leave that until later." If, she thought, there is a later...

"All right."

"Did he do anything like change his email password or have some new privacy issues?"

"He's got an office computer. I don't know what he's doing there. He could be doing anything. And, he talks about his secretary, now and then. What about that? I don't know what goes on in that office. And, now he tells me he's quit the partnership and is going to set up his own office. Yeah, I know what that means. He can just have more time with Eileen without anyone walking in."

Doctor Hadley looked at her notes. There was no clear-cut answer to everything JoAnne had said. If she wasn't so convinced that Bill was innocent, she'd wonder about some of his actions, too. But, she knew, she was here to moderate the couple's discussion, hopefully guiding it to a peaceful and truthful resolution.

"Well, JoAnne, you've certainly outlined your concerns about his actions. Let's take another break, here. I know I need one." She looked at Bill, wondering what he was thinking. Well, she thought, we'll find out soon enough.

"All right..." Doctor Hadley said, "let's hear from Bill about your suspicions. Bill?"

"Where do you want to start? Honestly, I've forgotten what was the first thing she brought up."

Hadley checked her notes. "It had to do with how much time you spend with your car, you know, going to car shows and such."

"My car? It was my dad's car, that's why I have it. I've asked her to come with me, over and over. She only went the first time and complained the whole time."

"Well, let's set aside the car issue for a moment. JoAnne is worried that you might be doing something else... instead of the car show?"

Bill tried to control his frustration. "How do you prove a negative? I haven't done anything. She could come with me any time she wanted. I've nothing to hide."

JoAnne looked at him. "Yes, you've said that but what about all the other things?"

"Working late? Of course, I've got to work late, now and then. It's the nature of the job. If I was a doctor, would you say the same thing if I had an operation that took longer than I thought? Sometimes, contract negotiations take longer than expected. Look at what we're doing, right here and now. This could last forever, if we keep arguing about it. How is that any different?"

"I'm not arguing. You haven't even begun to see me argue," JoAnne almost shouted.

"Whoa! Let's calm down, a little," Hadley interjected. "JoAnne, we agreed to respect each other. Please, don't shout. It accomplishes nothing. Let's take another break."

"JoAnne? You said that when he comes home late for dinner, you have it in the refrigerator, waiting, but you don't eat with him. Is it so important to watch TV instead of eating with him?"

"He knows I like that show. He could bring the food into the den."

"Bill, what do you say about that? Could you eat in the den?"

"I suppose so. It never occurred to me. I mean, it's dinner and I like to relax when I'm having dinner and talk to my wife and that show... she doesn't like me talking when it's on and I've got to comment. I can't help it, the people on the show aren't important at all, they just help sell things. Why the hell should we care about some eighteen year old girl who sleeps around? She's trash."

He shifted on his seat and reached for a cookie. Oatmeal raisin... he slowly chewed, using the time to get his thoughts together.

"All right, maybe I could eat in the den and be quiet but really, what's that got to do with anything... about me cheating?"

JoAnne looked piqued. "It's not just the one thing," she said, "it's all of it together. I told you, you're chapter three."

"Are you willing to accept that I've not cheated on you? I said, already, you can't prove a negative. I can't prove I haven't cheated. How can I? Can you prove that I have? No, you know the answer to that. It's 'no'."

He took another cookie and angrily bit into it; crumbs rained down on the floor.

"I don't know," she said. "Will you stop eating cookies? This is important."

He defiantly took another one.

Doctor Hadley coughed, getting their attention. "This is quite different from my usual counseling sessions. Mostly, someone has indeed cheated and I try to bring them past that, sometimes they stay together, sometimes they don't. This is different. Bill says he hasn't cheated on you but you insist that he has because of this book.

"JoAnne, you're going to have to decide whether you're going to believe your husband of ten years or what you've read in this book. Until you make that decision, we're at an impasse and can't even begin to address your other problem."

Hadley stood up. "Why don't we stop here, today and meet again Friday. You both should think about what has been said, here and we'll talk then."

JoAnne walked out.

Bill stayed to thank the doctor for her help. "I don't know if this is going to work, Doctor, I really don't. She doesn't believe me and won't, no matter what I say or do. I know her. Once she gets something in her head, it's almost impossible to change her mind. Maybe, this wasn't such a good idea, after all."

"Let's talk again, Friday. At least, you can say you tried your best to save your marriage."

"All right, I'll see you Friday."

That night, he read more of the murder mystery until he angrily threw the book across the bed. What to do? he wondered, what to do? He went into the den and picked up his train magazine. Opening it, he found what he was looking for and went onto the 'net to the website. By the time he was finished, it was after eleven o'clock and he finally went to sleep.