You're Always 17 Ch. 01

They hesitated, surprised at being called out in mass, so I gave them another ultimatum. "You have two choices, and ten seconds to choose. Take your corpulence back to your end, have some more booze to make yourselves feel better about what happened to your lives after high school, or take your shot and suffer the consequences. What's it gonna be - the clock is running."

Jelly Roll's Jelly Bean tugged on his arm, "Come on, Hon; leave these losers to talk about science fair, and we can have some more fun!"

A nervous laugh spread across their crowd, and they marched away laughing at the nerds and geeks and science fair winners.

My adrenaline-fueled energy made it hard to stand still, but I took my darling wife's arm, and turned back to the winners from the PAA. "So, where were we?"

Julie was staring at me, mouth agape, and the looks on the faces of the others ranged from admiration to fright. Arnold and a short bundle of muscled dynamite who was introduced as Sgt. Bill Adams of the New Mexico State Police, husband of Amy Alderman, class salutatorian behind valedictorian Julie Bean, let me know they had my back, but doubted I'd need backup.

I laughed. "Only if I needed help pulling my boot back out of his belly! That fat POS and his porker partners couldn't win a third-grade playground tussle - they'd die of heart attacks or strokes after a minute of exertion!

"Now, how about we talk about something more pleasant? Karen, you were telling us about how you get seniors interested in government and economics."

We enjoyed the remaining thirty minutes of the meet/greet segment, and I enjoyed the pert tits being pressed into my arm and the roaming hands under the table; she couldn't get close enough in the ballroom, even in front of her peers, so I wondered about the four hours until the reunion.

While Julie was saying her goodbyes, Sgt. Adams pulled me aside. "You know tonight they'll be drunk, and you're going to have to prove up. I'm pulling a couple of off-duty troopers to join the two locals who are acting as security. They're okay, but I have a feeling we may need more. Can you help pay for the two troopers?"

"Just give me an amount and it's done. But tell me if I'm wrong about 'self-defense.' My understanding is, if one of them throws a punch, shoves me, or verbally assaults one of the women - like my wife - I can stomp a mud hole is his ass. Right?"

"Pretty much. I'm going to ask my wife why butt-wipe has it in for your wife, and I'll let you know. Hand me your phone and I'll call myself so we can add each other as contacts."

The reserved and refined Dr. Carr played with my cock in the crowded elevator, and turned into a feral cat in heat as soon as our hotel room door was shut. It's a phenomenon I'd grown familiar with in my younger, wilder days: a modern woman who abhors violence somehow goes cave woman when a man stands up for her and is willing to 'go to the mat' to protect her - body or reputation.

As widespread as the BJJB moniker appeared to have become, I wasn't sure how I could save her reputation among these hooligans, but they were not going to disrespect my wife in front of me without suffering consequences. Whoever she was and whatever she did ten or twelve years ago, this was now, and she had earned a medical degree and was a respected physician in three communities. Meanwhile, they were working for the city or pulling near minimum wage in a shit job and had turned into fat, obnoxious slobs.

Fat obnoxious, no-skills slobs don't get to disrespect accomplished doctors, lawyers, nurses, teachers, scientists, accountants, or Indian Chiefs, and I was the enforcer of that rule - hopefully with assistance from state troopers and LEOs. But either way, the rule would be enforced.

My conservative wife interrupted my train of thought when she shucked her jumpsuit, bra, and panties, and hit her knees. My pants were falling toward my ankles, and she was slobbering on my knob before they hit the floor, making noises an alley cat would appreciate.

That went on so long I thought she was planning on swallowing, for the first time, but she suddenly stood up, unbuttoned my shirt, threw it on the floor with her clothes, and pulled me to the bed. Alley cats from around the area congregated outside, recognizing the sounds of a feral cat in heat, and, for the first time since we met, she wore me out!

I took a nap; she took a bubble bath and did her hair before waking me. I shaved and showered, applied after shave and deodorant, and got dressed in my new black pinstripe suit and dress boots (meaning they had pointed toes, not rounded or squared). She took a few minutes longer, but when she appeared in that little black dress my heart skipped a few beats.

All made up, shimmering black hair cascading in curls, sporting sheer black thigh highs and heels, she put her mom, aunt, and cousin to shame! She read the look on my face, pivoted to give me the full show, and coyly asked, "What do you think?"

"I think that tight little body wrapped in that tiny little dress that barely covers your sheer stockings is going to cause a riot when we arrive! Are we sufficiently late, or do we have time for a quicky?"

She beamed, promised tonight would be better than this afternoon, and tried to take my arm. I ran my hand over that high round butt, and asked, "Commando?"

She giggled. "No, but they are teeny tiny and considered 'lineless,' so it looks like I am. Now, stop playing with my butt and let's go! We're already past 'fashionably late!'"

Yeah, she stopped the show, and she did it was confidence and aplomb. I felt like a commoner escorting a princess, and she acted like one. This was another first for her, and I was enjoying it. I do love my devoted little doctor, but sometimes a man likes to squire a beauty around.

Petunia the head cheerleader looked like she's swallowed a prune seed, and her supplicants were wide eyed. Cap'n Thom was not pleased to see the BJ buddy he cast aside for his overstuffed, now obese cheerleader, looking like a Hollywood starlet, but about all I saw in the eyes of his buddies was lust.

The two sluts from her wedding party were hanging around the trough with the in-crowd from ten years ago, but when they spotted Julie, they grabbed their asshole hubbies by the arm and switched teams. They weren't trim, but they hadn't gained the freshman fifty or the dropout seventy-five the others in the pigpen had, and hanging with the hottest nerd in history was better for their reputations than hanging with last decade's heroes.

The crowd was about triple the noon crowd, there were more than two cliques, and the cliques weren't as obvious as before. I was glad to see the 'normal people' there and looked forward to getting to know some of them.

It turned out I already did. I also knew a couple of nerd researchers, and several of the pretty people from 2012 who had grown up and gone on to make something of themselves, including two I knew carnally before they married, or I did.

Julie and I were becoming the center of a substantial crowd of attendees having a great time, trading stories, and getting to know each other better. When the prizes started being given out, there was never any doubt who was going to win "Most Changed," and she reveled in her fifteen seconds of fame, shimmering in the spotlight and giving men hard-ons and causing women to make new resolutions regarding weight and fitness.

I doubted she deserved it, unless the 2011 cheer squad was made up of porkers and the team entirely of fat lineman, but naming miss corpulence would have been rude, so Julie won.

As I mentioned, I had spent enough time in rough-and-tumble oil field bars before I gave that up for Lent to stay alert in a setting like this, but I still almost missed Julie flinching, lowering her eyes, and turning away. I looked at the wall mirror I was using to ensure no one snuck up behind me and saw him. Absent the look of aristocratic, born-into-wealth arrogance, he was unremarkable.

Medium height, medium frame, brown hair and eyes, or so it appeared from across the room, yet people moved out of his path and kowtowed to him as he made his way to the open bar. He got a drink and meandered our way, stopping to speak to his loyal subjects along the path.

The band was playing, but only a few were dancing - it was early enough that renewing friendships and making new acquaintances was still the focus. Unremarkable man made his way to my wife, tapped her on the shoulder, and said, "Let's dance." She squeezed her eyes shut but found her resolve and turned to take his hand.

I blocked that by stepping between them. "Just a moment there, Buckaroo. I'm Theo Carr, and that is my wife you're giving orders to. Where I'm from, a gentleman asks the husband BEFORE asking the wife to dance. Did you forget that step, or are you not a gentleman?"

He acted more irritated than angry. "Do you know who I am, Mr. Theo Carr? My grandfather was governor of this state, my father was a senator, and I don't have to ask your permission to do anything. Now move out of my way, or you'll wish you had."

I laughed in his face, which turned bright red, and then looked him up and down. "I must have missed your name and the list of your accomplishments, son of a senator. As far as wishing I had, go ahead and give it your best try."

He turned and signaled with his head to the man mountain lurking nearby. Eddie shook his head and walked over to his boss. Quietly he said, "Mr. Higgins, that is Theodore Monroe Carr - TM Carr, as in TMC LLC, the owner of Secure, LLC - and that is his wife. Perhaps you should ask someone else to dance."

The look he gave Eddie was one of disdain, and the look he gave me was even more disdainful. "I could care less who he is! I'm going to dance with Julie, and you can either move him out of the way or find a new job!"

"No problem, Sir. You can call the number for your security firm and replace me, assuming the owner agrees. I'd say it's been a pleasure, but it hasn't. And good luck with 'making him wish he had,' Jack."

"You insubordinate ass! I'm make sure you never work in security again!"

I began laughing, and Eddie joined me; Higgins turned a deeper shade of red.

The passel of porkers made their way over to see what was going on, probably hoping to see me get my ass kicked. Julie picked that moment to worm past me, and say, "Please, Theo, there's no reason to be rude to Mr. Higgins. He's a very influential man is New Mexico. I'll dance one dance with him, and this will be over without any greater damage to your reputation."

"You know, Julie, I would have allowed one dance, had he asked me. Now there's a snowball's chance in hell of that happening!"

Higgins sneered, and angrily claimed, "You lowlife piece of oilfield trash! Julie is from proper society, and we'll be wed as soon as she gets divorced from you! We've been seeing each other for months, and we're in love! Why do you think she's been staying overnight in Artesia so often, you stupid redneck? She's been staying with me!"

That stung, and yet, for some reason, it didn't surprise me. There had been breadcrumbs scattered along the way and I guess my subconscious had picked them up and put them together while my conscious mind only found them curious. I turned my head, saw the look on her face, and knew he wasn't lying.

Thom and the pack of wild hogs started cucking and clucking, probably not knowing the difference. I spoke over my shoulder to Eddie. "Why does he think he's a badass?"

"He's been taking Karate since he was a kid; he's got a belt of some color."

"Okay. Keep the fat fucks out of this, and we'll see if Karate tops barroom brawling."

I turned back to Higgins and said, "You can keep the cheating slut, but first you and I are going to find out which is the alpha dog, and which is the bitch. Here or outside?" Julie began protesting, but he took off his jacket, tossed to someone, who let it fall to the ground, and as I expected, tried a surprise jump kick, expecting to end it right there. I blocked it and sent him spinning. He had nice technique, but he was weak as a popcorn fart.

I laughed at him; he faked a kick and aimed a punch at my face. I moved my head aside, grabbed his arm, and bent it backward at the elbow; he screamed in pain, and I pushed him backward, releasing his arm as I did. I laughed again, and this time several PAA alumni joined me; it seems Jack might not be all that popular.

Now he was truly pissed! He came off the ground all sound and fury, jumping, whirling, kicking, throwing roundhouse punches, and screaming his intention to kill me. I danced just out of range, taunting him, until he tried to sweep my legs. Okay, fuck that!

I stepped inside while he was off balance, hit him in the gullet, then in the kidney when he bent over. When he came upright, I punched him in the esophagus with my thumb and forefinger. He grabbed his neck with both hands, choking, gasping for breath, and terrified. I faked a kill punch, and then stood there and let him recover. When he turned to retreat, I lifted his ass off the floor with my size 12 Lucchese boots.

My formal toe possibly caught his nuts, as he emitted a high-pitched scream and vomited on the floor he was falling toward. The fight ended with him in the fetal position, lying in a pool of his own vomit.

Without further ado, I whirled, gave a Texas Rebel Y ell, and ran at the porkers, who scattered as if they heard a 30-06 shot. I laughed at their overreaction, and returned to face my cheating wife, who was looking at her paramour in horror.

"I'll either drop your shit off at your parents or leave it in the room. You can stay with that piece of shit, go to your parents, or do whatever the fuck you want, but never darken my doorstep again! Send me a text when you know, but don't call; I don't want to hear your lies!"

"Please, Theo, let me explain..."

"Explain? Fuck no! You did what you did, and I don't really give a shit why! Your cheating ass is out of my life as of right now, and you'll get the papers verifying that on Tuesday! Now, what do you want me to do with all your shit? Leave it here, or take it to Jerry's?"

The shock was wearing off, and the reality had set in. She tried again, "Please, just let me talk to you. I made a mistake, but we can work this out."

"No talkie talkie," I replied, "The time for that is long past. Since you can't make up your mind, I'm leaving your stuff in the room. Call mommy and daddy and tell them why you're stranded in Santa Fe. I'm sure they'll be glad to come pick you up."

I took two steps, so I was standing over 'one of the most influential men in New Mexico,' when I made a phone call. "Chad! Sorry to interrupt your Saturday night, but I need you to do a couple of things Monday morning, okay?"

He said, "You sound upset - what's going on?"

"Not all that much, but I just learned my wife has been fucking Jack Higgins, so call the lien on his business property and house, cut off all donations to his daddy's campaign fund, and redirect it to his opponent. Anyone who raises a piece of shit like old Jack here doesn't deserve my support."

"Let me repeat what I think I just heard," Chad replied. "Your wife is having an affair with Jack Higgins; I'm to call the liens on his property, and cut his daddy's donations off? Is that it?"

"That's it for right now. Let me know when it's all done, please. And tell your lovely wife and family I said hello. Talk to you Monday."

The porcine pretty people were back in their corner, drinking fast and talking about how they could have kicked my ass but felt sorry for me, what with the cheating wife and all. The former nerds and normal folk who had surrounded my confrontations with Higgins and Julie had backed away, afraid I might go off on them, I suppose.

Except Arnold and Sgt. Adams, who stood their ground with grins on their faces. Bill Adams stuck out his hand and said, "I did a little checking on you this afternoon, and they weren't bullshitting; that was impressive!"

"That punk-ass bitch couldn't knock petals off a flower. He must spar with fourth graders if he thinks he's a bad ass."

We shook hands, and then I shook with Arnold, who grinned and said, "In case he tries to sue you, I recorded all of that on my phone, except the last few seconds. I somehow missed that part. I'll send you a copy."

Eddie joined me as I exited the ballroom like Elvis. "I tried to tell him, Boss, but he thinks he knows everything."

"I know, Eddie, and I'll see to it that your next assignment is with someone worth the trouble."

Eddie helped me pack and carry my luggage down to my pickup. As soon as I got on the interstate heading east, I called Jerry and told him my sad tale. He was shocked and aghast at his daughter's behavior and had me repeat my tale to Doris. She didn't sound as surprised as her husband, but she was apologetic. I decided to look into that, sometime: if she knew about her daughter's affair, we were going to have a very rocky relationship going forward.

The anger and adrenaline fueled me all the way to Carlsbad and kept me awake a few hours before I decided que sera, sera. This falls into the category of shit I didn't do and can't control, so why develop high blood pressure and insomnia?

I slept until ten, and considered going to Glenda's for lunch, but decided I'd best not get between her and the man she was serious about. He's a good guy, and I wish them the best; however, I could use a friend, and I don't want to get River involved.

So, I ordered a bunch of large pizzas, buckets of chicken, three cases of beer, and headed to my trailer at the mancamp. I had friends there, and they would appreciate me bringing Sunday lunch.

They dang sure did! I told them my tale, and we got muy borracho by dark. They helped me to the trailer, and dumped me on the bed with my clothes on, but took my boots off.

Monday was a muther, and my hangover was the least of it. Tom and Diane called and asked for my side of the story; it seems their niece had quite another tale. I sent them Arnold's tape and said we could talk another time, but I had to call my divorce lawyer. They didn't call back, and neither did Jerry and Doris.

My divorce lawyer was referred by my groomsman/personal lawyer, and he was pleased to have the tape. He did say it would be better to have more evidence, since adultery is grounds for divorce in New Mexico if you have sufficient cause. I informed him I had an investigative group I'd sic on that immediately, and he gave me a bare-bones explanation of 'community property' under New Mexico law.

I wasn't sure how all this was going to play out, but she had insisted on having separate bank accounts, investment funds, and retirement funds, since she considered some of my business and investment deals to be risky.

I had never finished reading for the law exam, much less taking it, but I had a pretty good grasp of law and legalese, so I spent a little bit of time reading up and came away pleased. She had pretty much cut her own throat if she wanted to take what was mine, what with keeping everything separate and committing adultery for six months.

Tuesday was a bitch too, because Dr. Bean was served with the divorce papers, and she and mom threw shit fits. Jerry was too embarrassed to say much, but he did beg me to think about changing it to 'irreconcilable differences' if Julie agreed to all conditions. I said I'd consider it, but laughed as soon as I got off the phone.

By week two, the investigation was complete. I told them to submit it to my attorney, as I had no interest in knowing more about it. Senator Higgins called, promised me he had disinherited his son, and asked if I'd reconsider calling the liens and cutting off my donations to his reelection fund. I said I would reconsider, and I did: for about 5 seconds! Fuck 'em both!