You're Still Young

Debbie and I walked back into the house. For the first time, I noticed the rearranged living room. I'd been so mad when I came in from the first argument I hadn't even seen it, although it was glaring. Where the sofa was always on the wall by the hall, facing the kitchen, and the TV stand was in the corner where it could be watched from all the furniture, the TV and sofa were now switched. As I looked closer, I saw two white coax cables coming from the back of the set, and seemingly headed down the hallway.

"What the hell is that?" I asked no one in particular.

"Troy followed my gaze and said, "Oh, that's in case we get up to something really naughty." He chuckled.

Emma quickly added, "So we can all watch. Make sure the dare is completed."

If the hairs on my neck, had settled a bit, they were back to full attention. I wanted to end the night right then and there, but Emma was already dealing cards.

My wife got the ace of clubs about halfway through the deck, and the last card - her card - was the ace of spades. The odds of that were now astronomical, and I knew I'd need to start watching the shuffles, on top of everything else.

"Oh, goodie!" she exclaimed. "I know just the thing! Popsicle time!" she was clapping her hands together quickly. I had no idea what she was talking about. We didn't have any popsicles.

Emma strolled over to the freezer and pulled out a single Ring Pop. That was confusing since they usually have hard candy attached. Whatever was on the end of that pacifier was cloudy white in color.

Emma handed it to Cathy. "Everybody has to lick until it's gone." My wife said triumphantly.

Cathy looked very reluctant.

She gave it a tiny lick and passed it to her boyfriend.

"What is it?" Lana asked.

As Ron licked it, Cathy shouted out "ewwwe-ah" before grabbing her beer and chugging it. Ron's face turned white, much like the thing he'd just put in his mouth.

By now, Emma had it. She rolled it across her lips, just before putting it fully in her mouth and sucking on it. If the substance was what I thought, then the least of her problems would be me staying away for a few days. I just couldn't wrap my head around it. It had to be a joke. She wouldn't do that right in front of me, and a group of friends, if it was real.

When the pop left her mouth, it was nearly half its original size. She swallowed and made a big show of it, too. Then she handed it to Lana. I'd find out now. Lana had confessed one drunken night that she'd tasted cum once, and she never would again.

Lana looked at it for a long time. No one at the table had said a word about it being physically frozen sperm, neither the ones who'd already had a taste nor the rest of us. Lana, I suppose, being brave also put the whole thing in her mouth. By the time her taste buds caught up, she'd taken it out and handed it to Troy. Her face turned green suddenly, and she dry-heaved. Then she ran for the front door.

"Swirlie for my sister!" Debbie beamed. Troy quickly pointed out that she'd performed the task.

Now, Troy twirled the object, watching it turn to and fro. Then, he too put the Popsicle in his mouth and sucked on it. He took it out and it was significantly smaller.

"Yep, that's me!" He snidely remarked as he handed it to Debbie. I was beyond livid. This motherfucker and my wife had set this up. My own fucking wife, was all I could think. I glared at him, and he glared right back, almost as if begging me to say or do something. Instead, I gazed over at Emma. The look on her face told me the worst possible thing. She was beside herself waiting for me to take my turn.

Debbie, in her slutty fashion had done me a favor. What was left of the Popsicle wasn't even frozen. There was barely anything at all. In spite of the two love birds, I snapped and licked once at the remnants. It ended up dribbling down my chin instead of going into my mouth, and I quickly wiped it away. I handed the spent pop to Cathy, who examined it and then stood to toss it in the trash.

"That was disgusting!" she told us. "Gross." Then she called out the partially open door to Lana, saying it was her turn.

From outside we heard a grunted "pass."

I couldn't begin to explain my feelings right then. Anger, probably rage, was at the forefront - but confusion too. I couldn't process what was happening - what my wife was doing - right before me. There was a surreal feeling as well. Others - friends and co-workers and family - were all co-conspirators. They seemed so much less affected by what was going on. As if it truly was just a game. And then the paradox hit me like a ton of bricks. That was the beauty of it, for Troy at least. Who had actually set up whom?

Troy had already started dealing and I came back to my senses. I missed my chance to watch him shuffle. Of course, Troy dealt himself both aces - again.

"That's bullshit," I mumbled. Then I said it again, much louder. I could no longer hold back.

"What?" he said, looking at me. "You calling me a cheater?" His expression changed into darkness. His eyes were suddenly devoid of feeling. He stared at me, and then he turned towards Emma.

"Have sex with me - for three minutes." He said with a returning smirk.

Emma tried to hesitate, as if mulling it over, but everyone at the table, including me, knew what she wanted. It's pretty hard to be hesitant and giddy all at once.

"I... I, well, um, okay." She said. It was so phony. Her eyes met mine.

"Don't," was all I said - all I could say.

"I can't... I... the rules." She was immediately going to throw that in my face. I looked at Troy.

"Pick another dare." It was a demand.

He simply shrugged. "It's a game, Rob," he placated. "Just a game and we all agreed to play it, and to the rules, like Emma just said."

"No, we didn't," I yelled at him, leaning in his direction. He immediately stood. Then he went the long way around, behind my wife, and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"You two talk about it for a minute," he was addressing her, not me. "I'll wait over here. You know, Emily we all agreed to play. We all knew a dare like this could come up. That's why we set up the camera. So, it's either the best three minutes of your life or your face in the muck. It's a game to me so, either way."

I came out of my chair like a rocket when he said that, but Ron had expected it, and blocked my path to kill the prick. Cathy had her hands on me too, although not pulling me back.

"Move, asshole," I told Ron. He just stood there, with that look guys give each other; the one that says 'don't try it.'

Without any thought, I did try it. He was ready for that too. I was forcefully shoved back, but Cathy, being behind me, took the brunt, and landed on her ass. I got a second hard shove toward my chair and landed hard on it.

"STOP IT!" Emma screamed. Her gaze then directed to me. "I'm doing it, okay?! It's a game, Rob. Three fucking minutes, because I'm not getting my head stuck in a toilet. Stop acting so... childish."

That was the last straw. "Fine, Em," I said, resigned. "Consequences, Emma. You do what you gotta do, and I'll do what I gotta do." Emma had turned towards the living room even before I finished my sentence.

The truth was I didn't want to fight Ron, I wanted to fight Troy. But why? What kind of face was I saving when everyone in the room was seemingly on their side? Maybe some were just excited to see two people fuck. I wasn't going to watch, that was for sure.

Ron had helped Cathy up and apologized, never taking his eyes off me. He exchanged seats with his girlfriend and was now right next to me. I watched my wife, take Troy's hand as he led the way. Lana, maybe out of kindness or guilt had slid over to sit on my right. Debbie was right behind the lovebirds and turned the TV on.

On the screen, in great clarity, was our bedroom. Troy came in and pulled my wife into a full embrace, and then he kissed her. Emma kissed him back. He started lifting her top up and over her head, as they broke off. Emma stood back, with a wild look of lust in her eyes, as she unceremoniously started removing her tight jeans. Troy already had his pants around his ankles, sporting a fat boner.

He pulled her in again for another lover's kiss. I guess, he'd gotten this far, and he figured he might as well take a few other liberties while he was at it.

Lana reached for my hand, but I pulled away. Embarrassed at my rebuff, she looked away and quickly put her hands in her lap.

I wasn't going to stick around. I went to get up and felt Ron's paw on my forearm. "I'm leaving, you fuck," I told him as I yanked my arm away. Glancing at the TV, Troy had Emma on her back and was between her legs, working his dick into her... well now, his pussy. I'd never touch her again.

Ron stood with me and kept himself between me and the back of the house. I couldn't find my keys. They weren't in the kitchen or the living room. All three women just watched me as I floundered around. Then I remembered that I probably left them in the car. Going into the front closet, I took my jacket and then decided to grab the other two, my hat, gloves, and boots. I bundled everything into my arms, as I opened the front door, before turning towards the kitchen.

"All of you," I told them sternly, "can fuck off. I'll never speak to any of you again. Enjoy the show."

As I walked through the door, I heard my wife groan and then cry out, just as Troy said, "Here it comes, baby. Damn, that's good pussy."

I tossed everything in the back seat and found the keys in the ignition. As I fired it up, Cathy was climbing into the passenger seat. I started backing up before she had the door closed.

"Get out, bitch." I said, even as the car was backing into the street. I stopped, put the car in drive, and stared at her. She didn't look like she was going to budge. It didn't matter to me if she had to walk from wherever I ended up. I checked the rearview as I pulled out of our street towards the main road. There was no sign of Emma running after me.

"She loves you, you know," was how Cathy started.

I snorted. "Sure," I said.

"You know she does," she kept at it. "It was just a g..."

"How long?" I asked. She looked confused, both at the interruption and the question.

"What?" she answered.

"How long has your cousin been fucking Troy?" I asked again, looking at her instead of the road.

"Tonight was... is the first time, as far as I know." She didn't seem so sure suddenly.

I stopped the car. "Get out," I told her again.

Cathy wouldn't move. "You know more, don't you?" she asked, the light coming on. "Shit, you know he's been coming onto her." That was a statement.

"Yeah," I replied, "I saw them walking from his house last week. Ever since it's just one big bullshit story or excuse. I was going to have it out with her tonight. Then I come home and find him there. Everything else was just icing on the cake."

"I'm sorry, Rob," she said sincerely. "Damn, she's a dumb bitch. But she's my cousin, and I still think you two can work this out. You know, if you just leave her, it will be easier for him to move in on her, right?"

"So what?" I asked. "If that's how she is, or going to be, I can't stop her. I can't be around her all the time. I don't want a wife I have to constantly check up on. He can have her."

Cathy said nothing and looked sad. I arrived at the entrance to the park.

"Just go, Cathy," I demanded.

"She came out of her stupor. "You're... you're gonna make me walk back?" she asked incredulously. "Where are you going? Come back and talk to her - or at least come back tomorrow and talk to her."

I reached across her body and opened the door. Her mouth hung open. Then she finally got out.

"You're an asshole for making me walk back. Do you want me to tell her anything?"

"Just goodbye," I said. Then as an afterthought, "And tell Ron to watch his back. He's gonna get a beating if we cross paths." I knew it was immature. I had no chance against Ron, one-on-one, and both Cathy and I knew it. He was bigger in every way and worked construction fifty hours per week.

I turned right and headed for town, as Cathy just stood there watching me drive away. I needed to talk to someone. There was no family nearby, and my thoughts turned to Doug. I headed to his house, remembering all the alcohol I'd bought earlier and just left there. Troy and the band of traitors were probably mock-toasting me with it right then.

Doug answered his door and instantly knew something was terribly wrong. He headed down to his basement - a sort of man cave, shared by him and his father - and I followed. He grabbed two beers out of the old-fashioned Coke mini-fridge, and then went to the bar and poured me a full glass of whiskey.

As he handed both drinks to me, he said, "Okay, spill."

I told him everything that had happened earlier, and back to the previous Wednesday. To his credit, he let me tell my story and just listened.

"Damn," he said with a slight chuckle, "Did all of you really eat that fucker's splooge?"

"I tell you everything that's happening to me," I spat angrily, "and that's where you go?"

He didn't say anything for a minute. We just sat there. I was exhausted, and the whiskey felt good going down.

"Yeah, sorry," he finally replied. "And you say he even ate his own sperm? That's one twisted fuck." Doug paused. "Okay, seriously," he continued. "I didn't come tonight because I was worried something was going to happen. First, the two of you have been walking around in a fog ever since the holidays. Then, I saw her coming out of his house back at the end of January."

"And you didn't tell me?" I cried out. "Why?"

"Would you have believed me?" he answered. "I went over to borrow your belt sander, and my eye happened to catch that bright red coat she always wears. They were so into whatever they were talking about, she didn't even see me. I turned right at the next street, went around the block, and headed home. What was I going to say? Hey, Rob, by the way, saw your wife with another guy while you were at work."

I thought about that. "No," I said. "Probably not, but you could have given me a heads up, so I could keep my eye on her."

"Ah," he responded quickly. "But that's the thing, isn't it? Look, if I was a really good friend, I would have warned you before you married her." He stopped to let that sink in.

"You two aren't compatible, Rob." He stopped again and took a swig. "She's a box of fireworks. She's adventurous, outgoing, and wants a lot of things. She's a 'see-the-world' kind of gal, climb every mountain type shit.

"And you," he paused once more, "you're straight-laced... I don't mean disrespect. You know what you want too. Maybe more down-to-earth, kind of realist... I don't know. You're not into adventure. You know what you want, and it's pretty simple. You don't run off half-cocked. You're perfectly happy to come home from work to a good wife and cuddle up watching TV. Shit, you weren't even comfortable when we first started having these parties. I could tell."

He was right. I couldn't fathom why I hadn't seen something that simple. The phone had rung twice while he was talking, and his mother, Helen, opened the basement door and shouted down, "Phone for you, Doug."

We both looked at each other, guessing who was calling this time of night.

He picked up the handset. "Yeah," he said indifferently. "Yeah. So what? Listen, I don't want to talk to you, and I'm sure he doesn't either. How could you do that to your husband, you bitch?"

He covered the mouthpiece. "You want to talk to her? Maybe just so she leaves you to your whiskey, and a little peace and quiet?"

I took the phone. "What do you want?" I barked, but not so loud that Doug's mom could hear.

"Rob, I'm sorry," she cried into the phone. "Come home. Come home, so we can talk."

"No." was my brilliant answer.

"Please, Rob." She was sniffling but sounded less broken up about the end of her marriage than I expected. "Everyone's gone, and I want to... talk about what happened. Or make it up to you."

"Yeah, Emma," I spat indignantly. "Now you're sorry. Now you want to talk. It's a little late for that."

I heard what sounded like whispering in the background. "And why are you lying to me? He's right there with you now. I can hear him!"

I slammed the receiver into its cradle. Doug just looked at me with pity, as we sipped our drinks. My whiskey was nearly empty, and I wasn't going to end up cradling a toilet in my friend's bathroom. Doug's mom, Helen, came down the stairs tentatively, with 2 coffee cups and a carafe. She didn't want me hogging her bathroom either.

"Thanks, Mrs. E." I said. Doug's last name was Everson.

"You're welcome," she replied with a sad smile. "And you're a grown man, Rob. Please call me Helen. Your voices were pretty loud, so I heard. I'm so sorry."

Just then the phone rang again, and with a small sigh, Helen headed back upstairs. Doug answered it, without saying a word. "It's for you," he said handing me the receiver.

"What?" I said quietly.

"Please come home," she pleaded. "He's gone. Everyone's gone."

"No," I responded. "I can't be around you now. I'll never sleep in that bed again. Just answer me one question. "How long have you been planning this?"

"I... we..." she stammered. That was it. No matter her answer, it was finally dawning on her where I stood. I waited a bit, while she collected her thoughts.

"You might as well invite him back, Emma," I told her. "I'll be in touch at some point." I went to put the phone in its cradle, but Doug quickly took it from me and gently set it down.

Sleep came in fits that night. Before leaving for work, I stopped at our bank. We had a total of $1137.00 in our combined checking and saving. I took half in cash. There wasn't anything else to split. Her dad helped us with the house, so he could keep the proceeds.

Lance was in the office when I arrived. His look told me I had problems.

He asked me to sit and shut the door.

"Rob," he started, "I've already heard too many rumors about last night's... activities. I'm not going to judge, but I can tell you, I will not support or encourage anything you and the others are doing. This is a family business, with family values." He stopped to let me absorb.

"That said," he continued, "based on some of the things I've heard this morning, I have a proposition for you; a way to keep your job and put a little distance between you and your current... situation.

"Our Assistant Manager in Flint quit with no notice two days ago. If you want it, the job is yours. You'll need to report to Russ tomorrow afternoon, at the latest. We'll provide you with lodging expenses for two weeks, at the hotel adjacent to the restaurant. We'll offer some relocation funds to help you get settled. It's a one-time offer."

I immediately accepted. I'd work a half day that day, then go and get myself sorted and head up the next day. As I was counting out the morning shift cash boxes, Debbie stepped tentatively into the office.

"Can I talk to you please?" she asked biting her upper lip.

"Sure, give me a minute. I'll meet you out back." The employee smoking area was just outside the back door. I smoked a little, and Deb was a damned chimney. When I went out she handed me a cig and fired hers' up.

"She loves you, you know." She said it on the exhale.

"No I don't," I answered, "and she sure has a fucked up way of showing it."

"She made a mistake," Debbie tried to smooth it over. "And it was just a game."

"Uh-huh." Was all I could bring myself to say. "Either all of you are crazy, or you think I am."

"We can make it even," she said pretending to be hopeful. "You and me - how about it?"

"Not with my worst enemy's dick," I said.

"Your loss, Rob. I'd never offer myself to such a 'goodie-two-shoes.' I'm only doing it for her. So you know, I told her... warned her, not to get married to you. The last thing she needed was some archaic marriage trap. This is the 1970s - 'we are women, hear us roar.' Plus, Troy has plenty more to offer. I've fucked him three times already. That doesn't count helping him make a yummy cum popsicle.