FELIX and MONKEY

Felix and Monkey set out on a midnight chase
First they stopped for a burger and then they entered the race
The sun was hardly lifted, the air was damp with dew
Felix and Monkey knew just what to do
They drove an old Moto Guzzi, about 800 cc
It went so fast it made the Monkey wanna pee
They rounded the bend on Smoky Mountain
Then took a fast left on Old Round Top

That’s when Sam the Policeman, tried to make ‘em stop
He jumped in front of them right near the old bus stop
Felix gunned the Guzzi and raced over the blue cadaver
Monkey gave a quick look back but too late to matter
Now two hours and twenty into the race
Felix and Monkey had to quicken the pace
Monkey said, “Let’s stop at the Bordello”
He was a randy horny fellow

Felix said, “Just hold your gherkin,
We’ll make a pit stop that’s for certain”
When they knocked on the door loud and fast
Out popped Redhead Claudia with her huge ass
The two marched in and grabbed another whore
Then climbed to the bedrooms on the second floor
Felix said, “Frenchy, give me a sweet blow job
She unzipped his fly, spat and started to bob

Claudia bent over a wicker chair opening her ass wide
Monkey didn't hesitate, he slipped his cock inside
So the two reprobates shot their loads in tandem
Paid the gals and grabbed their clothes at random
Then they ran outside and hopped on the Guzzi
Those two crazies were never real choosy
Unfortunately they lost the motorcycle race
As you imagined, they came in the very last place

But happy that they’d gotten laid and blown
proving in the end they’d known
That life is but a race for a blow job and a fast fuck
Unless it turns out that you are down on your luck
In which case just grease up your digit and pump
till you get some squirt from your hard stump
But if you’ve got a pocket with an extra fifty
You can always get sex, provided you’re thrifty