- Non-Erotic Poetry
- After Christmas Island
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click herehijabs, pale faces, all forced blank
finally restrained by her cousins
before her daughter's coffin
she falls to her knees
facing skyward
wails
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 13 years agothe long narrow house is just that, long and narrow. The poem is devastatingly sad.
buttersabout 13 years agothe visual form speaks to me of the howl rising and spreading up from the point of the woman and into the sky to the gods
having said that, i wonder if paring this back further might help ... do you think it would lose to much, v, if you removed
all forced blank
finally restrained by her cousins
and moved 'she falls to her knees' to precede 'above her daughter's coffin'?
UnderYourSpellabout 13 years agoI'm not sure it needs to be a 'concrete' poem the words are enough for my 5
Esperanza_Hidalgoabout 13 years agoand retain a meaning. The shape is like an ending, or the grave. I never thought of pointing a poem like so, like pointing to death, or whatever the mind makes of it.
