Opening Gambit

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108 words
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demure101
demure101
211 Followers

Another month is over. How I long
to take you in my arms and keep you there,
and not before time either: lost among
the daily drudgery, and wear and tear
of dull, thin solitude and tension's flare,
neglected feelings, down upon the floor
grow old and grimy through a lack of care,
abandoned, lost, not wanted any more...
We left them there and simply locked the door
and I pretended that I never bothered
to even try and go back to restore
the passions and emotions that lie smothered -
   Another month is over. Can't we pry
   those dumb defences open? Won't you try?

demure101
demure101
211 Followers
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4 Comments
DawnJDawnJalmost 11 years ago
If he has to ask...

...she clearly doesn't want to try. How very sad...and what a great rendering of those terrible emotions! You're such a natural!

greenmountaineergreenmountaineeralmost 11 years ago

Even those who think sonnets are passé might appreciate this. The fluency of the words impressed me the most.

"and not before time either" to be honest has me a bit stymied. I can make some associations with it, but I wonder if a more concrete word phrase might have been better.

Nonetheless, it very much felt like a "song" sung very well.

Ashesh9Ashesh9almost 11 years ago
Another masterpiece by Demure : this one on feelings , emotions ,....

Passions . Very nice .

twelveoonetwelveoonealmost 11 years ago
1B4

scratches his head

and makes ape noise

care for a cup of

mate

5ed