- Non-Erotic Poetry
- moonstruck
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torn awake with tremors of a black dreary
to something just as bleak, more clinical than not.
i try to remember this isn't home, but it's been
sixty-six days with many more left to pass.
after night comes light and it is then a vast blue
through a small window brings the sun. its rays
leave a pool where cats and i are drawn.
this yellow is a better memory minder then pills,
making a dreaded remainder a bearable fight.
- COMMENTS
Maria2394over 10 years agoa midnight dreary :(
Dear Neo, you bare your soul and I thank you for this, though I know how much it can hurt. hugs
UnderYourSpellover 10 years agoSo much in this piece for many of us to recognise, who have fought the fight for survival against all odds. Memories are the hardest part.
buttersover 10 years agolove's an addiction
withdrawal symptoms as awful, hope . . . even worse
your black and blue and yellow speak to me of emotional bruises, starting to heal but nights bring new damage. individually they hold other meanings, but it's the bruising i see most of all.
like the pool, 'cats and i'; the seeking of comfort, closeness, a following of the sun/bringer of light to a darkened world within a mind.
greenmountaineerover 10 years ago"Tremors of a black dreary" is great writing IMO. You take an adjective, turn it into a noun, and make it the focal point. It isn't the shakes so much, but the interminable situation that gnaws, at least that's how I read it.
Todski's right.
I'm still parsing the last 3 lines. They're somewhat elusive to me, making me work, but I like doing that, and there certainly is a lot in this short poem to work with.
todski28over 10 years agohard, Powerful, powerful writing Neo, reminds me a lot of "one flew over the cuckoos nest" (wish I had read the book)
but I also worked in a psychiatric clinic and this took me back into those mornings where some of the patients would stare out the windows longing to run in the sun.
think this is more about re-hab, but I have been wrong many times.
you pack so much into such a small space
