Bless me, father, for I have sinned.
It's been five days since my last confession.
Well, what is it that you have done my child?
I think this will leave a lasting impression:
Two other boys and I went completely wild.
Did you defile the temple of the Holy Spirit?
Did you pollute yourselves, interfere with each other?
Did you succumb to the vile sin of self-abuse?
What did you do with one another?
Oh, nothing like that. Nothing at all.
Funny you should leap to that conclusion.
No. We all went down to the waterfront,
and there we made a little intrusion.
A little intrusion – what do you mean?
Just open your heart and tell me all.
We discovered a place near Goldblum's warehouse
where all three of us climbed over the wall.
And what happened then? What did you do?
So far, it doesn't seem you did any harm?
We found the guard and beat him silly,
and forced the man to disarm the alarm.
We tied him up, took away his bunch of keys,
then we found a key that could open a door,
and when we got inside we opened some boxes
and strewed their contents on the warehouse floor.
Most of it was useless and of no real value
but eventually we found some really good stuff.
We just took as much as we could carry.
Getting it over the wall was really tough.
Two blocks away we found ourselves a truck.
We hot-wired it and drove it back to the place.
We loaded up all of the goods we'd taken,
and then we made off at a riveting pace.
We took it around to Pirandello's
to see whether he would give a good price.
He haggled us down to six thousand bucks.
So we took it and told him he was very nice.
What did you do with these ill-gotten gains?
We split it three ways and got two grand each.
We thought it best to lie low for a while,
so we spent the next day at Gilgo Beach.
We swam in the sea, and we lay in the sun
and that's where I feel the trouble started.
My one mate, Tony, has a beautiful body.
I'd had impure thoughts before we departed.
We relaxed on the beach and had a few beers.
Later we left. There was a change in the weather.
And then on the way back in Plandome Road,
we stopped and Matt bought an outfit of leather.
Is your friend a member of a motorcycle club?
No he's not a biker. He just likes that stuff.
He likes the feel of it on his skin.
It makes him feel that he's really tough.
So from there we went on back to my place.
We had a few drinks, and smoked some grass.
That's when things got a little out of hand.
And Matt began to touch my ass.
Well a little while later we were all undressed.
I thought about it over and over next day.
I just couldn't believe that this had happened.
Who would have thought that we were gay?
Is there anything else that you need to tell me?
No, nothing, Father. I've told you the lot.
What's left of your share of the ill-gotten money?
Well, some went on drinks. The rest I've still got.
Read ten psalms and say the rosary twice,
and pray that this vice doesn't keep you in thrall.
And as for the money – that had better go
to the Society of good old Saint Vincent De Paul.