Confessions of a Sex AddictbyNigela Lamont©
(Kathleen Connelly addresses the group)
I was almost late for the meeting but luckily, I got there just in time for the opening address. The woman at the front of the hall had just called the meeting to order.
"First of all, before we begin our meeting, is there anyone that is here for their very first time?"
I had always been quite shy but I had to speak. Having made up my mind to suppress my trepidation I slowly and somewhat hesitantly, raised my hand. A woman sitting in the row behind me patted me on the shoulder, congratulating me on being so brave. Many others nodded and smiled with approval.
The woman put me at ease, giving me a nice warm smile.
"Welcome to our group! Would you care to come up to the podium and introduce yourself, and perhaps share your story with us?"
"Alright, thank you, I will."
I made my way down to the front of the room and asked for a glass of water then I stood there for a moment surveying the sea of faces. Once I'd gathered my courage, I began to speak.
"My name is Kathleen Connelly and I'm powerless over sex."
"Hi Kathleen!" The crowd of women filling the large hall cried out in unison
I took a big swallow of water from my glass, cleared my throat and carried on.
"I'm not exactly sure how to begin. Maybe I should start by saying that people would never suspect underneath my prim and proper middle class exterior I have an intense craving for large black cocks. I love everything about them from their taste to their texture to their musky smell. It might surprise you to know my husband is supportive of my obsession. While my marriage is perhaps somewhat unconventional before you judge me I'd like you to hear how our lifestyle evolved."
I looked around the room to see if I was getting any disapproving looks and seeing none, carried on with my story.
"I suppose if anything, it was our children who were the catalyst that set everything in motion. I love them dearly but they're both very high energy, and last year their behavior was wearing thin. Quite simply, I was exhausted and ready to take a break. I'd often thought being a mother would have been much easier if I'd had them when I was younger and had more energy.
Oh... I almost forgot to mention that they are twins. Having one girl entering puberty would be difficult enough, but two of them was enough to test the patience of a saint. Anyway, my point is the girl's rambunctious behavior was putting such a strain on our marriage that my husband and I were desperate for some relief. After sifting through various options, Stanley and I, that's my husband, decided we would send them to Camp Cayuga; a summer camp in the Pocono's which has a very good reputation. Although the fees were more than I would have liked to pay, it did have a long list of fun activities for the children so it had been easy to persuade them to go. By the time school finally ended, I would have cheerfully paid double what the camp asked for and felt it would be money well spent.
After we'd dropped the twins off at their camp, Stanley and I returned home and cracked open a bottle of champagne to toast our new freedom. We congratulated ourselves on making a wise decision then settled in to have a restful summer.
My husband generally phones me every day from work on his lunch hour and fills me in on the latest office gossip and we talk about what's happening around the neighborhood, but one day he seemed to have something else on his mind. I know my husband well and any pause in his conversation usually means he is struggling to say something. Finally, I told him to stop beating around the bush and spit out whatever it is he wanted to say.
"Well okay Kathleen," he said, "I can't fool you. There's something I need to know about last night. Now, I want you to tell the truth. You weren't just putting it on were you, you did enjoy it?"
"Sure I did Stanley," I replied. "I'd never fake it with you. The sex was out of this world!"
"Good," he said with a look of relief. "Do you remember what we were talking about when you came?"
"Yes honey," I blushed. Of course I do."
Like most middle-aged couples with over active children, our sex life had all but vanished. Now with the girls away at camp, it literally sprang back to life. For the first time in years, we had some privacy, and we began to try out various things to enhance our love life. Before we knew it, my night table drawer was filled with various kinds of vibrators and Stanley's closet was jam-packed full of adult movies. Stanley and I were like two kids set free in a candy store.
To go along with our newfound freedom I bought myself a collection of naughty lingerie and Stanley purchased a digital camera. He even managed to talk me into posing in my new lingerie for him, an activity that, to be perfectly frank surprised me by how much it turned me on.
I was shocked when Stanley told me what was on his mind. He had come right out and asked me if I would have sex with another man if I had an opportunity to do it for real.
What Stanley was referring to was a fantasy of ours, of me having sex with a well-endowed black man while he watched. After trying out the different categories of adult videos available, we'd found the ones that aroused us the most were about interracial cuckolding. In short, we were hooked, and in no time at all we began role-playing, pretending we were like the couples in the movies.
Even though I greatly enjoyed our new fantasy life, I still felt rather shy about it, and hearing Stanley talk about it on the phone sounded cheap and tawdry. It seemed like he'd broken some kind of unspoken agreement that our fantasies would remain in the bedroom. I know it sounds silly, but I believed that if we spoke about them in the cold light of day, it would somehow bring them to life. It was the first time he'd ever brought the subject up when we weren't making love, and he sounded somewhat awkward. Thinking that he was only carrying on with the previous night's fantasy, I hesitantly agreed.
"I...I suppose I could" I said, somewhat hesitantly. "I mean if you were really, really sure that's what you wanted. But it would have to be with someone I liked. I couldn't just do it with anyone. And besides," I said with some relief, "we don't know any black people."
"Oh yes we do." Stanley reminded me. "I have some interesting news for you. You know Robert Jeffries, the nice young black fellow that used to work with me, the one that we've been fantasizing about?"
"What about him, Stanley?" I asked.
"Well, prepare yourself for this," Stanley said, "Robert's going to be my new assistant."
My heart began beating wildly in my breast. Just the mention of Robert's name had me creaming my panties. I'd had a crush on Robert and my husband was using it to get me all stirred up. We'd been watching a video about a white wife being fucked (for that's certainly what they were doing) by a much younger black man. I'd been so turned on by it that in a moment of weakness I'd confessed to Stanley I could imagine doing it with Robert. He no longer worked in Stanley's office so it had seemed harmless enough.
"Don't tease me like that!" I chided him, secretly hoping he was telling the truth. If anybody could get my juices flowing, it was Robert. About three years ago, Stanley had introduced me to Robert at his company's summer picnic, and lately we'd been using him quite often in our fantasies.
Robert was the first African American I'd ever really met on a personal basis, and although he was fifteen years younger than I was, I'd been smitten from the moment I first laid eyes on him. He was very tall with coffee colored skin, a shaved head, and a smile that would melt butter, and I thought, the most handsome young man I'd ever seen.
At college we'd had a few "brothers' as they liked to call themselves but they pretty well stuck to themselves. The only thing I had learned about them was from my good friend Ellen Barclay who, in spite of all the snickering she'd received from her classmates, had fallen for Tyrell Cleaver a handsome black quarterback on the school football team.
In one of our more candid conversations, Ellen told me Tyrell had the biggest blackest cock she'd ever seen. She was the most sexually active of all my girlfriends, and believe you me, with her fondness for sucking cocks, she'd seen a lot of them.
Ellen took great delight in recounting her various escapades to us girls, so we all had a very thorough if not downright graphic sexual education from her. She would positively glow when she would describe to us how well endowed Tyrell was, and often trotted out that old cliché, once you go black you never go back. However, with Ellen's experience and forthrightness you sensed she was actually telling the truth. Her blow-by-blow description of what it was like to suck cum out of a big black cock especially fascinated me, so if you will pardon my pun, I suppose you could say she had planted the seed.
Since my interest in black men had been piqued back in college, I suppose my attraction to Robert was probably inevitable. I had only seen him at the picnic and run into him a few times at Stanley's office, but when I saw him, I couldn't help staring at the sizeable bulge in his trousers. I did my best to conceal my interest but he must have noticed, because he started flirting with me behind Stanley's back, and soon it became very difficult to hide my feelings. Luckily, the firm transferred him to their branch in Topeka before I'd had a chance to make a complete fool of myself.
Although I'm a housewife and mother of two, I still consider myself quite attractive. I've been told by many, including my husband that I have a nice figure, and I've had lots of compliments about my long brown hair, so self esteem was never an issue for me. In spite of that, I have to admit that although, or should I say because Robert was so much younger, his discreet flirting had been very flattering, if not downright exciting.
"It's true honey. He really is going to be my assistant." Stanley said in earnest. "I thought when he was transferred, he was gone for good, but our branch in Kansas closed down so he was brought back. After what we've been talking about lately, his arrival was quite a coincidence. It seemed to be a good opportunity for us to make our fantasy come true. Since he's going to be working for me again, I've invited him to come for dinner tonight. His interest is up so we just might be having an overnight guest."
"What do you mean his interest is up?" I blushed. I felt myself losing my stomach. "Stanley, I hope you haven't said anything to Robert about our fantasies."
"Of course not, but I did fan the flames a little." Stanley admitted after a short pause. "We were fooling around on my computer today and I showed him your pictures. He loved them all, but when I got to the ones with you in your black baby dolls he really sat up and took notice."
Most of the pictures were harmless enough, but the ones he was referring to were positively lewd. The wispy little garment was so transparent that you could see my nipples were excited and the fact I was wearing no panties left no doubt at all that my pussy was quite hairy and very wet. The photos were supposed to be just for Stanley.
"Oh Stanley, you bastard," I cried. "I asked you to keep those to yourself. What on earth will he think of me? I feel like such a silly old slut."
In spite of what I was saying, the idea of Robert staring at my nakedness was getting me quite aroused, and as I talked to Stanley, my hand had stolen up my skirt and under the leg band of my panties. I had been unconsciously masturbating myself as my husband talked about bringing Robert home. Feeling how wet I was becoming, I realized I could hardly wait to carry on with our interrupted flirtation. I was already wondering what I should wear that night.
"You don't have to worry about Robert thinking that of you Kathleen." Stanley said, attempting to sooth my fears. "After all, he does work in our photography studio. He told me you had a beautiful body and that I was a very lucky man. In fact he said you were far prettier than any of the younger models we use in any of our photo shoots."
"Really? He really said that?" I gasped, feeling a warm glow spreading up from between my legs and washing over my tummy. By now my nipples had become fully erect, and were pushing out the front of my light cotton shift. As I contemplated what might happen that night if I really let myself go, my lust-swollen clitoris throbbed, aching for the relief that could only come from a good stiff cock.
"Yes sweetheart," my husband went on. "He said you were even lovelier than he remembered I noticed the young fellow had quite a hard on while he was looking at your pictures. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he gets carried away and comes on to you tonight. Anyway, I wouldn't mind if he did. It's up to you how far you would like to go."
"You'd really be okay with that Stanley?" I asked. "Are you absolutely sure you wouldn't be mad at me or get jealous? I find the idea as exciting as you do but I wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize our marriage. You realize that if I do fuck Robert, things will never be the same again. I don't want you to have any regrets."
"I won't honey." Stanley assured me. "The thought of you fucking Robert in our bed cancels out any feelings of jealousy I may have. Imagining that big black whopper of his inside that tight little pussy of yours has my own just cock dripping. I could probably pole vault with the erection I've got."
"Stanley," I gasped. "I know it's wrong but the idea is really turning me on. Are you sure Robert has a big cock? How do you know that?"
"I saw him coming out of the shower room after the company's golf tournament." Stanley chuckled. His eyes grew wide.
"Believe me, his cock looks like it's at least a foot long and his balls hang down like a pair of grapefruit! There must be lots of babies in them. It's a good thing you had your tubes tied because it would be awfully hard to explain away a little black brother to the twins. Anyway, hon, I'm sorry but I have to go, I've just been called in for a meeting. We should be at the house about seven tonight."
"Oh god Stanley, help me out a little." I pleaded. "What should I serve? What do you want me to wear? This is all so unexpected."
Stanley was no help whatsoever.
"I'll leave those things up to you baby, I'm sure that whatever you do will be fine," "Now I really do have to go," he insisted. "We'll see you later tonight.... Bye sweetheart."
After Stanley had phoned and dropped his bombshell, then hung up so abruptly I was left in a real tizzy. In order to plan the evening accordingly I purposely made myself a nice cup of tea to slow down my racing mind. I had to take everything one-step at a time. Tonight had to be just perfect.
Luckily, our pool had been serviced the previous week and the gardener had just mowed the lawn so I didn't have to worry about anything outside. I could use the pool to my advantage if all went well tonight,
The first thing on my agenda was to drive to the local butchers and purchase three of the finest steaks I could find. I had purposely chosen steak because I knew from the office picnic that Robert enjoyed barbecue, and I wanted to make him feel right at home. After the butcher had cut and wrapped the filets I proceeded to the liquor store and had the clerk help me select three nice bottles of Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon. Having taken care of the two most important ingredients, I headed off to the grocers to find some fresh vegetables and something rich and suitable for dessert.
Once home I prepared most of the dinner accompaniments beforehand so that everything would appear as effortless as possible, then I sat down and had a glass of sherry to settle my nerves. I looked at my watch and saw that I had four more agonizing hours to wait for Stanley to bring Robert home.
At six o clock I slipped into a nice hot bubble bath to calm myself down. After soaking myself for twenty minutes I toweled off and sprayed my most intimate parts with some of my Estee Lauder Spellbound. I slipped on my lacey white Décolleté bra and some fresh white silk panties and laid out some of my sexier casual outfits on the bed.
After trying on everything at least two or three times, I finally settled on my favorite skintight white Capri pants, and a turquoise v-neck angora sweater. Once I was fully dressed, I painted my lips in a deep rich burgundy, put on my cultured pearl necklace and strapped on my new four-inch white patent pumps. I looked myself over in my full-length mirror and smiled at what I saw. I can certainly understand why we older women are called cougars. I was dressed for the kill.
The butterflies in my stomach still hadn't left, so I poured myself another large glass of sherry. I was just finishing my drink when I heard Stanley's car turn into the driveway. My heart skipped a beat as I ran to the front door, I felt like a young girl on a date. I reached for the handle expectantly and opened the door. That evening was such a big event for me I can still remember every word we spoke.
"Here you are, Mrs. Connelly!" Robert said in his wonderfully smooth deep voice.
He towered over me like a black Adonis, flashing a mouthful of glistening pearly teeth, and holding out a beautiful bouquet of big pink roses intertwined with white baby's breath. Stanley was right behind him looking quite pleased with himself.
"Oh Robert, they... they're beautiful!" I stammered, with an awkward smile. I gave him a light kiss on the cheek and smelled alcohol on his breath. He'd been drinking. I found that to be a good sign, it meant he was probably as nervous as I was.
"Thank you so much, I'll just go put these in some water."
"They're not as beautiful as you are Mrs. Connelly," he said before Stanley led him into the living room. In a moment of bravado he spoke to Stanley in a voice loud enough for me to hear. "No offence Mr. Connelly, but I'm not going to let your wife get away with just a quick peck on the cheek. At the very least I think I should get a big kiss!"
I found my best crystal vase and as I filled it with water, I thought about how easy everything seemed to be slipping into place. Hopefully I mused, Robert's large black cock would also be slipping into place before the night was through. I carried the vase full of flowers back to the living room and set it down on the coffee table. The wonderful scent of roses filled the air, adding to the raw sensuality that permeated the room.
"Where ever did you find such lovely flowers Robert?" I asked, feeling very special. "I don't think I've ever seen roses that big before. They're absolutely amazing!"
"They are big aren't they? At first I was going to get you baby roses, but when I saw these, I changed my mind. I thought you're probably the type of woman that likes things larger than life."
He gave me a knowing smile, and I'm sure I must have turned six shades of red. I was so damp I hoped my Capri's were still okay. Robert put his arms around me to give me a hug and whispered in my ear. It felt so intimate to have him so near, if he had asked I would have shed my panties in a flash.
"Mrs. Connelly, I'm sorry but I can't help it, you're all I could think about for the whole time I've been away in Kansas!"
With that, he picked me up as easily as if I were a sack of feathers and kissed me so passionately that it sent shivers racing up and down my spine. My arms automatically, wrapped themselves around his neck and I held on for dear life as he spun me around the room. With his strong arms holding me tight his soft full lips covered mine. Using what little willpower I could still muster I did my best to restrain my tongue from slipping between his teeth and into his warm wet mouth.