Earth's Prick Invasion!byUncle Pervey©
Our planet was invaded from outer space,
One night when most of us were asleep.
When we woke up the critters were all around,
There were "Pricks" with long legs, and they could LEAP!
At first we thought they were the funniest things,
There were "Pricks" of all sizes all around.
These "Pricks" were real mobile in all kinds of ways,
They could fly, they could crawl, and they could bound!
There was one thing they had in common with us,
It was something we just couldn't let pass.
All these "Pricks" wanted to do, was plug up holes,
And if you dropped your pants they'd drill your ass!
Every single one of each saucy bottom,
Were in real danger and "Extreme" risk!
These "Pricks" that invaded came in ALL sizes,
And their urge to plug a bare hole, was brisk!
This dangerous aggravation, got old fast,
So we got together and made our plans.
We got the rubber companies, going full speed,
And our Carpenters built special wood spans!
The rubber companies were running three shifts,
And the wig companies were making hair.
The carpenters drilled holes of different sizes,
And we assembled these stands everywhere!
The stands were sheets of plywood, with lots of holes,
And all the holes were from little to big.
Every hole had a circle of curly hair,
With a rubber on back, for a "Brig!"
In just awhile all the "Pricks" were diving in,
They crawled and flew and lept, and filled each hole!
It took just a few weeks to capture them all,
But in just a short time, we reached our goal!
We learned lots of things from this experience,
We learned just how we could pull together.
We learned that "funny things" could be dangerous,
And we learned how to protect, our "nethers!"
We loaded all the "Pricks" up, and sent them home,
Back to whatever strange place they'd come from.
We sighed with real relief, as they disappeared,
Cause they no longer threatened our bum!
We giggled like crazy as we waved good-bye,
They'd left with a few more "Pricks," than had came.
We'd loaded some lawyers and politicians,
Cause to all of us these "Pricks," were the same!!