Enyo-Aella: Warrior PriestessbyCinner©
Thanks to Sean Renaud for his entertaining other-worldly stories, and to Throbbs for his memorable drawing of Thor. These are the sources of inspiration that I leaned upon to come up with this:
"I'm not Jessica Rabbit, but like her, I've been drawn in such a way as to give me a bad reputation even before people get to know me! It is patently unfair, but since I'm being drawn by a horny 22-year old I guess that I'm stuck with a slamming body that he wants to keep for himself, and superpowers. To tell you the truth, I don't mind the superpowers; being able to channel all the Greek gods, the heroes and the elements to help me lay waste to the evil-doers who litter my path as I roam the universe through time, is pretty cool. I wouldn't give that up for anything; but having permanently protruding nipples and only wearing a leather bra so that I have a bare midriff, cut-offs that leave my ass half exposed all the time, and thigh-high boots even in snowy Scandinavian Earth-weather is a not what it's cracked up to be. Worse, in the two years that Jake has been drawing me I haven't been laid even once! He likes to bring me close to the edge in his stories, and even closer to the edge in his studio, but I suppose that I reflect the fact that nothing is going on for him either. Well, I am SICK of it!
"My backstory says that I'm supposed to be a 2,300-year old woman. I'm supposed to have been a priestess who was corrupted against my will. Mount Olympus wept with me as I was sent into exile, rather than stoned because of my goodness, grace and skill. I was supposedly transformed by Athena who was most disturbed by the lack of justice that I received.
"To be sure, I'm glad that I wasn't stoned, because I still look like a 22-year old myself after all these years. Back in the old days, being 22 was considered old enough to be wise, but now, I'm still looking forward to the prime of my life; and being immortal I don't have to be as careful as other girls while getting there. Look, I said that my reputation was bad, not that I was good. I see no point in taking a bad rap again, and not deserving it this time.
Anyway, Jake has also been generous in making me rich, and a college student by day, even though I do all these marvellous things by night with no apparent loss of time to do my normal activities. It's a sweet deal, so don't get me wrong, he's a Jamaican, what does he know of Scandinavia and wealthy female vigilantes? I'm grateful to him for what he has given me so far, I mean I AM the only superhero who wears super cool waist-length dreadlocks, but even so, I want more. He needs to stretch his imagination to the next level now. It is time to give me some payback for all those monsters that I have to fight all the time.
"You see, what Jake hasn't thought of though is that people here in Comicland, or "Ocean Vista" where he makes me live, don't like me. The girls think that I'm stuck up because of my wealth, and the boys swear that I'm a tease because of the way Jake dresses me! I can't blame them. What would you think if you were in their position? I drive my Lamborghini to the garage of my penthouse apartment, and dress like a slut, but I never get a chance to actually do anything with anyone else, and it is driving me crazy!
"So, enough of my griping, this is what I want you to do for me: if you buy Enyo-Aella: Warrior Priestess comics I want you to write in to the man who draws me; Jackson "Jake" McNair, and ask him wtf is wrong with him. Tell him that Enyo's celibacy story has long run its course, and that it's high time that he gave her a love interest. Be creative in what you tell him that you want me to do, remind him that his comic does not appeal to children anyway, and so he must let himself go. No, scratch that, tell him exactly what you want him to do, since I can't be sure that if you don't draw him a map that he would know his way around a woman.
"Tell him that you want to see me get it on with someone who looks like Thor; I'm not averse to guest spots in other people's comics. I'm also not averse to anal, or having sex while being pressed against a wall. I wouldn't mind trying doggie-over-a-balcony or a little S&M; and for special occasions I wouldn't mind a little girl-on-girl action. How do I know that I like these things if Jake hasn't let me do them before?
"Well for starters, these are the things that Jake wants to do with someone; at this point he wants to do it with almost anyone so long as she's not a picture in a magazine, or one of his comic book characters. Last night I know that he was dreaming about giving it to some girl against his bedroom door because when he began my latest adventure he made me half-straddle one of the creatures I was sworn to kill, while he hunkered down and shoved himself into me like the brainless brute that he was. Because we were enemies this guy, I think he might have been a troll, felt no need to be either gentlemanly or introverted about what he was doing. He threw me against the wall like a sack of potatoes, and got to work. Thrust one! Thrust two! Thrust three! Thrust four! He was pounding my g-spot! Jeez! What a ride! I got clitoral stimulation and when he pushed his second tongue into my ass I was ready to scream!
"I know, I know. This thing would not have been my first choice, under ordinary circumstances; but beggars can't be choosers, and I said to myself, "Well, now we're getting somewhere, Enyo girl!" and I waited to see what Jake would make me do next. I was not disappointed with where he was taking me; only with where we ended up.
"He made my nemesis grab my butt in his large calloused hands, and hoisted me up while he was sliding down, so that I ended up straddling one of his faces; and, man did Jake have this two-headed creature eat me alive! I was grinding my pussy in one of his his faces like there was no tomorrow, and he got me by the hair just the way I like it!
I was planning to have one epic orgasm! Can you imagine over two thousand years' worth of need released all in one go? But then, would you believe it, Jake got scared of his deviant little mind and crushed up the art work and threw me into the waste paper bin. He didn't even write in one moan for me; so now I'm even more frustrated than I was before.
"So, this brings me to why I'm appealing to you directly. I want you all to buy my comics, and visit Jake's website and go to Comic-Con 2013 and do whatever you have to do in order to convince him that this has got to stop. You have to demand that he draw more adult storylines, and that the artwork needs freshening up. I mean, how can I be so rich and yet I must wear the same clothes every single day? No wonder I don't have any friends!
"So you got that? And while you're at it, remind him to create my own version of Thor for me. I saw that there's a new guy called 'The Vibe' on the scene. I like what he does with his comics. Yes, I do read comics too. Why should that be a surprise? Anyway, tell Jake to check out this guy, 'The Vibe's, work in order to get some inspiration. I'm becoming really, really horny!"