tagHumor & SatireFor Anonymous

For Anonymous


Author's note:

This falls under the "satire" portion of this category.

This story is dedicated to a select group of people who leave public feedback, many – but not all – of whom share the same name.


I was really looking forward to getting home. It'd been a long-ass day and I was hoping for maybe a little sex with my wife. When they made up that bit about being able to suck a golf ball through a garden hose, they were talking about her. On top of that, she has the biggest tits of anybody I've ever seen.

Anyhow, as I said, I was eagerly anticipating a great fuck from my lady, which would sure put a bright spot on what otherwise had been a pretty lousy day.

Pulling up to my house, I was surprised to see an unfamiliar car parked out front. Then I thought, 'The neighbor's kid's back from college for the summer. Must be his.'

I got into the house and was met by a strange sound. At first I couldn't tell what it was, but following my ears, I finally realized it was the sound of sexual passion. Further following the sound, I finally came to our bedroom. Sure enough, there was my wife, her feet in the air, another man pumping away inside her cunt.

At first I didn't know how to react, so I simply stood there, stunned, and watched them fuck. He was really pounding it to her, the contact of his hips against hers on every thrust sending a loud slapping sound through the air. They were both panting and moaning so loudly that they hadn't heard me come home.

They both really seemed to enjoy what they were doing. The wife loves getting fucked hard, so I knew she was in heaven. At one point, the guy pulled all the way out, and I got a good look at his cock. It was fucking huge! It must have been ten inches long and six or more around. His balls hung way down and bounced and slapped as he slammed into my wife. That cock really put my average six incher to shame.

After not too long, I heard the guy start to breathe harder, and his moaning picked up a notch in pitch. It sounded like he was going to cum in my wife's pussy, something that only *I'd* done the last eight years or so, as far as I knew. When he thrust forward with a big yell and buried himself to the hilt in her hungry cunt, I knew he was filling her with his seed.

Part of me wanted to run, get the hell out of there, part of me wondered what I'd done wrong. I thought back to some of the fantasy-telling sessions we'd had in the past, where we'd both admitted to wanting to try another man or woman in our proceedings. I just hadn't expected this.

Now that the guy had cum, there wasn't as much noise in the room. They still hadn't seen me, so I quietly stepped up to the bed behind the guy, reached out to his dangling balls...

Curled up my fist and smashed it into them!

The guy yelped and fell off my wife and onto the floor, groaning in pain and clutching himself. I went around the bed to where he lay in agony and added the toe of my shoe to his misery.

My wife just gaped on the bed, both above and below. Her pussy was all stretched out, her lover's jizz oozing from it. She was white as a sheet. I gave lover boy another kick, then turned fully to her.

"You bitch!" I roared. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

She opened her mouth to reply, but I silenced her. "Shut up. I don't want to hear your excuses. Your actions tell me everything." I saw a pile of clothes on the floor, both hers and his. I gathered the whole works up and carried them outside to the garbage. When I returned, lover boy was kneeling on the floor, still clutching himself and breathing hard, my wife was crying, all curled up in a fetal ball on the bed. I went back over and kicked lover again, then returned to the bed.

"Get the fuck out of my house, whore."

She turned her face to me, her eyes red and cheeks soaked with tears. "Honey..."

"I said go." I turned to her writhing boyfriend. "You, too. Get the fuck out of my house."

My wife sat up. "Honey, wait..." she pleaded. "Let me explain."

"Explain what?" I burst. "That you saw it necessary to fuck around behind my back?" I grabbed her left wrist and displayed her wedding ring. "Does lover over there like the idea of fucking a bitch who's married? Do *you* get a thrill out of making a mockery of our wedding vows?" I threw down her hand in disgust.

For a brief second I wanted to hit her, but thought better of that. I doubted lover boy would say anything about my treatment of him, but I doubted she'd have such qualms.

"Get out." I was so mad, I couldn't raise my voice above a whisper. "Get out and take limp dick with you."

In a pathetically small voice, my wife said, "Can't I at least get dressed first?"

There was no hesitation. "Fuck no. A whore like you shouldn't mind letting others see her body. Chances are everybody already has anyway."

She opened her mouth to say more, but I grabbed her wrist again, then dragged her over to where lover boy lay and took his arm, too. He was still in quite a lot of pain, but I didn't give a shit. I hauled the both of them out of the room, down the hall and out the front door, where I deposited them, naked as hell in the middle of the yard.

Standing in the doorway, I looked back on their nude bodies, in full view of the entire neighborhood. "Get out of here. I'll send all your shit to your mother's. I'll have your car towed there, too. I don't give a fuck if I never see your cheating cunt face again." At that, I turned and entered the house, slamming the door behind me.

Then, in one final burst of rage, I stormed to the bedroom, hauled the mattress off the bed, dragged it out the front door and threw it in the yard, where my wife still stood, covering herself as best she could, bawling like a baby. Lover was nowhere to be seen, neither was the car that had been parked out on the street. Some guy. Wouldn't even take his cunt with him.

I sprayed charcoal lighter fluid all over the mattress, then set the damn thing on fire. I'd be damned if I was going to sleep on that mattress one more night.

When the fire was well under way, I gave one last glare to my stunned wife and slammed the door behind me.

It was then, when I was left with an empty house, the sound of my naked wife screaming at me from out in the yard, that all the indignation and fury drained completely out of me.

I collapsed against the closed door and wept.

The next day, good as my word, I packed all my wife's clothes and shit, loaded it in her car, then called a tow truck and told the guy to take the damn thing to her mother's. Then, I went to the lawyer and filed for divorce.

For the next two weeks, I received phone calls from my wife, begging me to listen, begging me to take her back. I ignored them all. For a month, I didn't answer my own phone, instead letting the machine take the calls and answering the ones I felt deserved answering.

The divorce went through without contest, and last I heard, she'd moved out of her mother's house, her mother basically kicking her out after hearing what happened. What she'd done went hard against her mother's strict religious notions, so she lost an ally there.

I saw her once a few months ago, looking quite the worse for the wear. I guess she's got some brand of VD, which made me glad she'd been insisting I wear a rubber when we fucked, even if she wouldn't make her lover(s) wear one. I made sure and got myself tested shortly after this whole episode happened. I'm clean. I heard that she's awaiting results of a blood test that will determine yes or no on HIV.

Hope the bitch fucking dies.

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