"It matters not when the candles are blown out." he agreed, "Look young Pinkerton, lets forget our duelling, you have the thin one and I'll take the plump one, are we agreed."

"Indeed sir a capital suggestion," I agreed.

"Do I have no say in this?" Molly asked.

"No, not if you are to be a Countess!" Lady Garth intoned, "We shall get the name changed on the marriage licence forthwith, is three weeks the next Saturday convenient for the wedding my lord."

"I believe so," the Earl agreed, "Damn it I shall make it so."

"But what about me!" Hannah protested.

"I shall marry you!" I reminded her.

"But you are a drunkard and a fornicator!" Hannah's mother protested.

"Agreed, but I do have my faults," I admitted.

"And when shall you marry me?" Hannah asked.

"This very moment if you wish," I suggested

"Before the lord!" she insisted.

"Ah," Lord Garth suddenly announced, "Have a double celebration, save me a fortune don't you know.

"Yes!" Lady Garth agreed, wistfully, "You always were a cheap skate why not tell the world!"

"And where shall we live?" Hannah asked.

"Oh lord knows," I replied, "London, or Barsetshire or Scotland, follow the season," I explained.

"But we must settle down, buy a house!" Hannah insisted, "An Estate perhaps!"

"Buy another house!" I protested, "Damn it I have four already, Id' rather sell one than buy another!"

"Four houses?" she said in amazement.

"Big ones, hundreds of peasants hovels of course." I admitted, "I leave all that to my man!"

"Yes well," Lady Garth interjected, "We well know how prone to exaggeration Lord Pinkerton is."

"Me, exaggerate," I protested, "On the contrary Madam, I habitually down play my endowment so as not to frighten the fillies."

"I don't mean your prong!" Lady Garth explained, "I mean your wealth."

"If Hannah loves me then material things will not matter." I insisted, "For where else will she find such a fulfilling prong?"

"Is that right Mother?" Hannah queried.

"How should I know?" the mother asked in embarrassment.

"Why there is hardly a servant that you have not at some time serviced," Lord Grath reminded her, "Indeed Hannah has the look of Colonel Templeman about her do you not think?"

"No!" Lady Garth protested, "She does not!"

"Well she looks very fine in any case," I explained, "So if you will excuse us I shall remind my beloved of the advantages of marrying me!" and I snatched her up and whisked her away to my room and pronged her anew, though it must be admitted that when faced with that awkward box bed and cramped room it proved most efficatious when she sat on the very edge of the bed and then as I stood and pronged her so I lifted her clear from the floor forcing my manhood so deep into her that she squealed and wailed in ecstasy even as she wrapped her legs around me and I walked around the bedroom supporting her solely with my prong and there I found heaven.

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