It's All Becoming So Clear Ch. 03 Pt. 01byfreefallwithme©
It's been awhile since I've updated my story, but now I'm back. To catch you up on the real life saga from my previous chapter, things got back to normal for Chloe and me after the party at Shane's. We continued to party and shared little make-out sessions sober and non from time to time. Our relationship progressed and progressed until one fateful night at Shane's house again.
Shane was throwing a huge party tonight. He was going to be going out of town for a few months and this was his last send off until he got back. Chloe and I were quite excited. We arrived at Shane's house a little bit after 11 and immediately opened up all the liquor bottles and went for it. We were all looking to get completely wasted as we were sad Shane was leaving us for so long. Chloe and I got partially separated in the large crowd and I began to lose track of time and how much liquor I consumed. The next thing I know I'm sitting outside in front of Chloe's car by myself crying.
I guess Chloe had been looking for me because she ended up next to me and our friend Silas had to not only help find me, but also escort Chloe along as she could barely walk. He left us alone when he noticed the tears streaming from my face. She put her arm around me and asked me what was wrong, but I couldn't answer because I was crying so heavily.
"Mady, I was looking for you all over the fucking place and when I find you you're fucking crying. Now tell me what's wrong!"
Before we got separated, I had jokingly mentioned to Chloe that we should have a threesome with Silas or hell, we should just have sex and we just laughed about it. Then Chloe said that she just wasn't as gay as I was and she didn't think she could ever do that. She laughed at that, but I didn't. She was right. I was gayer than her. Just hearing those words from her just tore me up on the inside, though. That's when I ended up outside. I had to get away. After she said that, I knew I had to tell her how I really felt despite it being a bad time.
"You were right, Chloe."
"Right about what?"
"What you said."
"What did I say?"
"That I was gayer than you."
"Um, I'm definitely not following you here."
"For the past two months, I've been miserable. I've been keeping something from you and I just can't tell you for the fact that it'd ruin us. This wasn't supposed to happen. This isn't supposed to be happening."
"Mady, slow down. What are you talking about? You can tell me."
I leaned in to kiss her before I told her. I opened her lips with my tongue just so I could feel the sensation for one last time because I knew once I put my heart out there, I was never going to get to do this again. Her tongue always sends a shiver down my spine. My hands were locked in her hair. I didn't want to let go, didn't want this moment to ever end. Then Chloe pulled away and again asked what was wrong.
"I'm in love with you, Chloe. Okay? That's it. I'm in love with you. You're my best friend and this is totally wrong and I know I shouldn't be in love with you, but I just can't help it. You're all I ever think about. You're all I ever want to be with. I sleep with all these guys to try to prove to myself they can be who I want, but they're not. You're who I want to spend the rest of my life with."
After a few seconds, I slowly turned my head to look at her. Quite honestly, I was expecting a punch in the face or something. She was crying, though. Crying as heavily as I was. This was it. Our friendship was forever over. I made her disgusted with me. I had to leave. I went to get up, but she stopped me.
"I love you, Mady. With all my fucking heart I love you, but I just don't think I'm in love with you. You just made this very confusing to me."
"I know.", I whispered.
"And to be quite honest with you, I'm not sure what to think of this situation. You know I'm in love with Adam. Yeah, me and him aren't together, but we're still in love with each other and it's complicated. Then you go and tell me you're in love with me and this is something else I have to deal with."
"I'm sorry.", I again whispered.
"And of all times to tell me!"
"I didn't want to tell you under the circumstances of us being drunk and 40 minutes away from home. I just couldn't deal with my feelings anymore. It was eating me alive. I had to tell you, Chloe. I had to."
"I really don't know how to feel about you right now."
My heart crushed. I wasn't sad because she denied my love for her. I was sad because I just seemingly lost the most important person in my life.
"Look Chloe, I'll um, I'll just call my sister and have her pick me up. I'm sorry I did this to you."
"No, stop. I'm your ride and I'll take you home. Hell, I'll probably end up staying the night."
"But you can't even look at me."
"Just give me some time, okay? I just need a minute away from you."
I walked away at that point. It was close to 5 in the morning before we got back to my house. We didn't talk on the ride home nor did we speak when we woke up the next morning. I walked her to her car and that was that.
TO BE CONTINUED.