Derek was irrational. The love of his life, Left him. He burst through my door and threw himself into arms. I was shocked, but as a good friend, I took it gracefully and let him cry.
I helped him over to the sofa and asked him to tell me the whole story.
"Steph left me. I love her so much, Jack."
"I know, I know. Now, tell me what happened."
"She had gotten cold lately. I thought she was upset with me, like I was stringing her along, or something. I wanted to do the right thing. I love her. I had a ring made for her. It was...so beautiful."
"Yeah, yeah, just like her. I waited until she came home tonight and I sat her down. I wanted to do this right. I did it the way it should be done. I took her hand, I had candles, I had her ring....it was perfect. I took her hand, and said to her, 'Stephanie, will you be my wife?' I was so scared."
"Keep going." I could see how hard all this was for him, but he had to get it out. He was stammering, blubbering, I couldn't see him like that anymore.
"Okay." He took a deep, shuddering breath. "She looked scared, like she didn't know what to do. She did say yes to me. She said yes. I was so happy that I picked her up and kissed her. When I set her down, she told me that she wanted to tell her parents so we could all celebrate together. I was all for it. She left, and I noticed that I had forgotten to give her the ring. I knew I couldn't catch her, so I followed her.
"She lied, Jack. She went to her lover's house. I saw her go to him. He kissed her.....I just sat there. I didn't know what to do. I am not a violent man, so I just sat there.
"I waited for her. Almost two hours later, she came out. When she saw me, she just acted like she was irritated, no fear, no nervousness, nothing. Just like I was an insect on her finger.
"She told me that she didn't want me to find out this way. To her, I was a temporary distraction until something better came along. She was so icy, Jack. So, so cold.
"I am really sorry about this. I didn't know where else to go...and I needed someone to talk to."
"You are always welcome here, Derek, you know that."
He broke down hard, his nose running, his shirt collar wet with tears. Ah, Derek. At 23, he barely knew life, and to have his heart crushed so early, I felt for him. He had only had two girlfriends, he was sensitive, he was handsome, and he was so terribly sad.
I remember what he looked like then. He wasn't very tall, five feet ten, if he was an inch. He has dirty blonde hair and brown eyes. He was still growing out of his childhood acne. Derek was the average guy, I have been told. I always thought of him as unique. His shyness was dreadful and his heart was immense.
He had a slight pudge to his belly due to too much pizza and not enough exercise. I found it very attractive. I wasn't much for cut guys anyway.
Polite, intelligent, kind and friendly.
I sighed and stood. I thought about all the pain he was going to have to live through I was full of regret. He was much too sweet to go through any of this. I didn't want to talk of her, so I tried my best to comfort this broken young man.
"Derek, I think you could use some rest. Come with me. I will fix you up in the spare room." he followed willingly enough, though that disjointed look about him was haunting.
"You will be comfortable here. Stay as long as you like. You have your own bathroom and there are shirts and shorts the dresser. They should fit you, so use what you can." He nodded absently and I sighed again. Just standing there, he looked to the dwindling twilight through the open blinds.
I didn't want him to just mope all night in his clothes, so I tried to make him more comfortable.
"Derek, I am going to help you get undressed a bit, okay? If I make you uncomfortable, just let me know." He didn't say a word. He stood limply as I took his jacket off and flung it to the chair. I set him on the bed, taking off his shoes and placing them under the bed.
When I reached for his belt, he put his hand on my shoulder.
"It's okay, John, I will be sitting up for a while." I blinked when he called me John. He has never done that before. He was hurting more than I had originally thought. Much more.
"Okay. I will be in my room. I usually read for a while, but I will shut my light out at ten. No matter what, if you need something, tell me. I am here for you."
"Sure, and thanks. You know, for being such a good friend and all."
"Thank you, Derek. It had been my pleasure being your friend. Now, remember, I am just down the hall." I turned to leave, but he stopped me with an odd question.
"How old are you?"
"Thirty-two. I thought you knew that."
"No, I didn't."
"Thanks, again, Jack."
"Anytime. Get some rest. We'll get bagels for breakfast, good?"
"Yeah, sounds really good."
I shut the door and smiled. Such a sweet boy. I was still thrown by his question, but I suppose it was one way of easing his pain.
I puttered about in my room for an hour before I gave into weariness and fell into bed.
I was awakened sometime later by the click of my door latch. Derek.
"Hey, there. Let me turn the light on for you."
"No, that's okay. I would like it off."
"Sure. What can I do for you?"
He came to the bed and sat down near my feet.
"What's it like being gay?"
"I don't know. What's it like being straight?" He didn't answer, and I wasn't going to push him.
"John, I am hurting so badly."
"I know, Derek."
"Do you know what it's like to want something so bad, and you just don't know how to get it?"
"Yes, I do. What is on your mind?"
"I want you to make love to me." I was so stunned all I could do was sputter.
"Okay, fuck me. I want you to fuck me, John."
"You don't know what you are saying."
"Yes I do!" His rage frightened me for a moment, but he seemed to calm again. I kept quiet until I heard him completely.
"Jack, please! I know that I am just a stupid kid, that I don't know dick about life, but right now I feel empty and unloved."
"Is that what you want? For me to love you?"
"No. Yes. I am not really sure. In a way.....damn, I didn't know this would be so hard!"
"Derek, you have almost no sexual experience, only two girlfriends. You are hurting and depressed. Do you think that makes you gay?"
"I feel like I have missed something. I still like women, but I think of men....." he just shrugged.
"You feel an attraction. I see now." I could almost feel the relief dripping from him.
"I knew you would understand."
"Don't be so sure. If this is what you really want, I will give it to you. Against my better judgment. There are no attachments here. I am not in love with you and you are not in love with me. Though sex without love is tragic, I will put my heart and my body on the line, for you.
"I will make love to you, Derek, because you need more than to be fucked."
"Jack,...." He wanted to say so many things. I understood what he was going through. I didn't let him finish.
"No matter. Let the words rest. I will teach you."
I could feel him nodding and heard him take a cleansing breath. I got out of bed and stood before him. I took his hands and had him stand with me.
I moved slowly, not wanting to startle him. Letting him adjust to his experience, I kissed his forehead and shut my eyes. His breath was ragged and hot on my neck. We didn't speak a word. He followed me through without question, without hesitation.
I leaned down and kissed his mouth with tenderness. When he deepened the kiss, I knew he was ready to move on.
We embraced, letting our tongues explore each other with passion. My nudity was obvious as my hardness pressed against him. He pulled away and undressed quickly. I smiled as he settled on the bed. In his nervousness, he was stiff, shaking, insecure. I took his hand in mine, ignoring the chill and sat next to him. I stroked his brow and I felt for him. He was putting on a brave front, but I knew he was scared. So was I my first time. We all are.
So young, sweet Derek. I will make love to you, dear one, and hopefully it will be what you have asked for. I smiled again at my thoughts.
I climbed onto the bed and knelt beside him. I began a slow massage of his temples, working down his ears, jaw and to his neck. He purred when I ran my fingers over his cheeks and chin, pausing to stroke his shoulders.
Over his shoulders, to his arms. Each one in time, working to his hands. His skin was so soft, I had to stifle a moan and I took his hand in mine. His eyes closed and I rubbed his fingers, pulling the tension out.
I could smell his desire, sudden, overwhelming. It hung heavy about the room as the most erotic cologne. His skin took on this scent of sugar and a touch of salty tears. I had to frown at that reminder of his pain.
I leaned in closer and touched my lips to his collarbone. He started slightly and I gave him an apologetic grin. He watched me closely as I traveled along his chest, licking, sucking, tasting, his body had become irresistible to me.
I could feel his hardness pressing against me as I leaned into him more, wanting to have all of him at once. My lips made a trail over his chest, down his belly, pausing to dip my tongue in his navel and he shivered. He didn't have a lot of hair, and it made him seem so young. The thought made me pause briefly.
I looked to his eyes and saw that hunger burning. I positioned myself, ready to take him in my mouth when his hand came up to my cheek. I looked to him again and he smiled.
Without another thought, I took his hardness in my hand and stroked him softly. I was hypnotised by him, letting my instincts take over for me.
His cock filled my hand and then some, enough for me to put another hand over him. He looked so good, his juiced primed and running over my knuckles. I pulled his skin back to adore the gleaming head, taking a lick.
With a hearty moan, he bucked his hips. No longer could we wait.
Closing my mouth over him, I flipped my tongue lightly over his glans, letting the texture of him become part of my memory.
Sliding over him smoothly, I took all I could into me, his hand never leaving my face. It was incredible to me. I did not love this man, but it felt that way. I was giving him a part of me and the sentimental part of my soul told me that this was an act of love.
Truly, a beautiful experience.
I could feel my own cock dripping and I was so ready for him. Was he ready for me?
"Derek, come here. I will teach you something."
He sat up, a bit disappointed, but willingly. I took his place and let him sit between my legs.
"I would like you to try."
"I haven't done this before."
"I know. Just try." He looked at me blankly for a few minutes. I didn't pressure him, I let him go when he was ready.
He looked at my shaft, slightly intimidated. Not the size of me, but it was the anticipation and the hardness that was a bit frightening. He finally reached out to touch me and I moaned. He shot his hand back, afraid he had hurt me.
"It's okay, honey. You are fine."
He took a deep breath and put his hand over me again. This time, I waited for him to more comfortable. So difficult, so difficult.
With the softest strokes me moved me, full strokes, half strokes. Experimenting with me. I was pleased. I watched him carefully, seeing how well he liked it. To me, he seemed to enjoy the freedom I gave him. He looked to me and smiled. I wondered what he was up to.
He moved back a bit and leaned down to press his lips to my cock. I stifled the moan that came to surface and tried to let him go on his own.
I nodded when he looked to me, uncertain. I closed my eyes when his mouth finally moved over me. "Derek...." My sighs took over for my speech and I was lost. For a young man who had never touched a cock other than his own, he did remarkably well. He took me with care and tenderness. I was touched.
"Jack? Are you okay?" I opened my eyes and smiled.
"Oh yes. I am fine."
"I was worried. You didn't tell me anything."
"I am sorry. To say that you are wonderful would be an understatement. There was no need to tell you anything."
"Are you saying I am a natural?"
"Yes, I suppose I am." He sat back laughed and I smiled wider. This was good. He has finally relaxed.
"Should I thank you?"
"I think I should thank you, love."
He moved to my side and laid quietly for a moment. I could see his mind working and I wondered what he was up to now.
"Is that all there is to it? I thought there would be more."
"There is a lot more. This is just what I am giving you for now. I will teach you something else tonight."
"You haven't come."
"Neither have you."
"I thought you would."
"That is a bit soon for you. You aren't ready for that."
"I would like to know what you taste like."
"You will. Slow down. We have all the time in the world."
He kissed me. That began the best love making I have ever experienced. With every caress and nuzzle, I felt tremendous love. The acts we entered into made me feel things I haven't felt before. As I look back, I see it simply. Derek excited me, his kindness and his inexperience making it that much better.
When he held my cock again, I put my hand over his and held tight.
"Wait, there is something else to show you." He nodded and waited for me to move from under him.
"Lie back. I want to be inside you."
To be continued in part two.