Mickey Finn!byUncle Pervey©
An Irish lad named Mickey Finn,
Was a real sneaky "feller."
He'd start right out where he'd begin,
Young Mickey was a "Heller!"
Mickey was good at fixing things,
Like sports and the "Horse" racers.
His Irish voice gave out loud rings,
When he was betting "Pacers!"
Young Mickey Finn had ONE dark side,
Where pretty girls were concerned.
He'd spike their drinks before they'd ride,
And the poor girls NEVER learned!
Mickey Finn just didn't have time,
For real serious courtin'.
He NEVER saw it, as a crime,
Mickey just called it "Sportin'!"
Then one bright day young Mickey Finn,
Met a SHARP girl named Nancy.
He wanted to take Nancy in,
Cause she made him feel "Antsie!"
Nancy never let on she saw,
Mickey tamper with her drink.
When he turned she reached out a paw,
And switched them quick as a wink!
Now Mickey Finn, has got wiser,
Since Nancy shortened his manhood.
While he'd slept, she'd clipped his "Riser,"
Now his "love life" ain't no good!
Mickey Finn still fixes races,
But NO LONGER cares for girls.
NOW he wears a "Belt" and "Braces,"
And CAN'T distribute his "Pearls!!"