This is my real, true, story about my honest to goodness first time almost two years ago. I have to give credit to a couple of my online friends who managed to get me to talk about this. Gary gets special thanks for encouraging me to put this in writing for the first time.

* * *

Moscow, Idaho is about as boring a place to grow up as there can be. The most exciting thing I ever recall about Moscow is going to visit family in Boise. At an advanced and early age I started at the University in Moscow and went to work on my Business Degree. In my last year I had to do an internship and I was chosen by a restaurant company to work in their headquarters office. And that is where I met Richard.

That's his real name. Richard. And maybe a few people who read this will have a few lights go on in their heads and say "!".

He was everything to me right when I needed everything. My family is very strict Methodist and the Mormon environment of Moscow is even more constricting than my family was. Richard became the safety valve in my life that allowed me to vent those things in my heart that would have either died or killed my spirit. He always knew just what to say, what to do, and when to do it. He was my Knight in Shining Armor. He took me out to dinner a few times, first, as friends, then as close friends. He came to confide in me as much as I confided in him my dreams, hopes, and fears. He was 31 and I felt that he was so out of reach for me that I never dreamed that he would be interested in me as anything other than just a friend. I secretly dreaded the day when he would tell me that he had met a great woman and it wouldn't be me. Imagine my surprise one night after he drove me home from work when he went to hug me goodbye like we always did and he just looked at me so seriously.

"What is it?" I asked. Did I have a zit?

"Um, it's this..." he said and then he leaned in to my face and kissed me a soft and tender kiss. Of course I freaked and said something that I forgot and jumped out of the car and ran to the door. I was so flushed with shock...and something else...that I didn't bother to wave goodbye to him before I closed the door. I raced past my parents and ran up stairs to my room and was having wild fantasies for the next half-hour or so when Richard called.

"Christie, are you okay? I didn't mean to scare you like that. I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

He really cared about me as more than just a tag-along friend!

"I'm fine, Richard. You just got me by surprise is all. I didn't know you felt that way about me. How come you never told me that you felt that way?"

"Did you like it?" His voice was a little different.

"It was really nice. Now tell me how you feel about me?"

"Christie, how come you can't tell? I love you so damn much my heart aches every damn night. I think about you constantly when I'm at work, at home, in bed...constantly."

Well just drop-kick me, Jesus! I was so in love with him and he loved me too. Could life get any better?

Our relationship took off after that and we struggled with the age difference and 'what people will think'. We had our romance mostly in his car or in the dark little restaurant we'd go to across the Washington border. It was like we were a couple of kids sneaking a kiss here and there and it was SO romantic! My parents thought of him as being a protective mentor to me and they trusted him with me and that gave my heart a little jump whenever Richard and I would slip up in front of them with a casual brush of our hands in a not-so-casual way. Being a good girl it never ever occured to me to ask Richard if I could see his house and he never offerred to show it to me. It came up one day and he just went on with the 'what will people think' and I dropped it without another thought. My nineteenth birthday (5-27-99) came along and Richard took me out to a very nice place for as romantic a dinner as we could have in public. It was there that he told me that he needed to go to Victoria, a city in British Columbia, to scout out a chain of restaurants that the company was thinking about buying. And he'd need an assistant. And I'd be done with school by then, three weeks later. It was too good to be true! We'd finally have some time together where we wouldn't have to hide our love for each other all the time! It was the best birthday and the longest three weeks I've ever had. My parents had no problem agreeing to my taking the trip with Richard. He made it sound so dry and business-like that I really think they never expected me to have any fun at all on the trip. As far as they were concerned, I was going along to do some work and that was all.

The time came for the trip and Richard picked me up early on that Monday morning for the long drive across Washington. We had a great conversation as we drove along. We talked about the week ahead and I fantasized about kissing Richard right in public somewhere. I told him that I couldn't wait and he laughed his warm, friendly laugh.

The crossing at the border was really slow and then we were in Canada! It felt so neat to be away from Idaho, the US, and all of the rules. I was free!

It was really exciting to drive the car onto the ferry and then we had the two hours to cuddle until the ferry reached Swarts Bay. It was so beautiful to be out on the water on such a clear day. The drive into Victoria took another half-hour and then we were there! Richard parked the car and asked me to stay in it while he got the directions to the hotel parking lot. Then he was back out in a few minutes and we parked the car, grabbed our bags, and walked the short distance back to the hotel.

I should have come to my senses when the hotel guy said to Richard, "I only have one suite left, sir. Your room confirmations were apparently denied, I'm sorry, sir. But I'll arrange the suite for you at the same rate as one of the rooms, will that be fine sir?"

Richard was clearly annoyed. "Yeah, that'll be fine. Is there a couch I can sleep on up there?"

So we were not going to have separate rooms?

In the elevator Richard assured me that he would be just fine on the couch and that we'd get along just great as roomies. I really had no choice but to agree with the situation, after all, it wasn't Richard's fault, was it?

We dropped our bags in the room and then we left to go to a neat restaurant that was right on the harbor, "Milestones". We had the most romantic dinner! Richard sat next to me and kept hugging me and I even got to have two of my first mixed drinks: Long Island Iced Teas.

I was a little tipsy when we left the place and Richard was very careful to keep an arm around me as we walked the couple of blocks back to the hotel. He was so protective of me and he made me feel so safe with him.

We kissed all the way up in the elevator and then when we got into the room Richard kicked off his shoes and I got silly and kicked mine off too. And then he led me to the couch and we had the most incredible make-out of my whole life! His arms were so strong around me as he kissed me and touched me and buried his face in my hair. It was just unbelievable to me that a man could be like this with me. We finally relaxed a bit and Richard noticed that it was getting late and we should be getting ready to get some sleep and stop fooling around. Reluctantly, I agreed and went and got my bag and headed to the bathroom to get changed and to brush my teeth and etc. When I came out he had the couch set up with a blanket and a pillow for his bed. Just like he had promised. He discreetly turned around as I came out and then he popped into the bathroom to do his thing. I had decided to wear one of my modest nities that was sort of poofy and satiny and I had on my 'good panties' underneath. I gasped when Richard came out of the bathroom in just his boxer shorts. He was so beautiful! I had never seen his bare chest before and it just took me by surprise to see him almost naked in front of me.

"Christie, you look so beautiful!" He walked right up to me and took me to my feet and kissed me. The feel of my bare leg against his was the most incredible thing about that moment.

The next thing I knew was I was caught up in a whirl of passion and skin and kissing and touching. His bare back felt incredible under my hands and I loved the way he'd moan when I rubbed my hands over it. I explored his body and he explored mine. His shoulders, his back, the little roll at his sides (I thought it was cute!). And I yielded to his explorations.

He was good. He kissed my neck and then worked his way back and forth on my shoulders and I never noticed him untie my shoulder straps with his teeth until they were undone.

"Mmmm, no, Richard."

I brought my hands up to my nitie and then he eased his lips down the newly-exposed upper slopes of my chest. I knew that he wanted to kiss my breasts and I also knew that we couldn't do this. I was about to complain a bit louder when he took me by the wrists and kissed me as he held my wrists over my head. The nitie slipped to the floor and I was soon lost in a whole new world as his mouth began to do the most incredible things to me. His toungue on my nipples, licking and sucking, made feelings shoot through me that I had only ever read about. I was his and I didn't care what else he wanted to do at that moment.

I heard the snaps on his boxers and felt their flannel caress as they fell on top of my feet. He drew me close and his cock poked into my bare belly.

"Richard!" I almost whispered,"What are you doing?"

"Shhh" was all he said.

I knew what he was doing and I didnt't want to stop him even though everything I had been brought up to believe in told me that I should.

He silently kissed his way down my body until he was kneeling in front of me, his hands at my hips, his mouth hungrily kissing my belly and beginning to go lower. I just watched in amazement as his hands took me by the hips and gently lowered my panties to the floor. I felt like I was having an out-of-body exerience and that I was watching this naked couple from a distance. It was surreal. He guided me back to the bed and I sat down as his hands caressed my bare feet. I fell back into the softness of the comforter as he took my feet in his hands and lifted them over his shoulders. He spent the next half-hour patiently kissing and teasing my body with his toungue. It was so intense to feel its rough texture on my clit and in my body. I don't remember exactly when it started, but he brought me to one of the best orgasms of my life. He responded to every move I would make. If I squirmed to try to get away from the ecstasy he held me tighter and his toungue would lick me deeper. When I'd catch my breath from a shooting pleasure in my body, he backed off to make me want more. When he finally brought me to a crashing peak I felt like I would scream and then found myself silently thrashing like a fish out of water as he demanded more from my body.

"Oh my God, Richard...oh my God..."

It was all I remembered saying.

He gathered me into his arms as I was reeling from the alcohol, the emotion, and the revelation of carnal pleasure and then laid me into the bed. He was so gentle with me that I felt so fragile, and so safe.

He walked over to the bathroom and I could barely see him get something out of his shaving kit. I heard a tearing sound and then he walked up to me where I had my first glimpse of his naked cock. It was so unlike the rest of his body. It was moving on its own and its veins were somehow very prominent in the shadowed half-light of the suite. He rolled the condom onto it as he stared at me.

"I love you, Christie. Make love to me, please."

I just stared at him too afraid to say yes and too afraid to say no as he climbed onto the bed. I still said nothing as he pulled my knees apart and then got himself to where his body was just over mine.

(I remember thinking right then: "This is it.")

I was so afraid and I felt more vulnerable than I had ever felt in my entire life up to that point. I could feel each and every one of the little hairs on his legs as they brushed against the insides of my thighs. When he leaned down to kiss me it was a kind of relief since I could close my eyes and surrender myself to the bliss of his warmth so close to me. Like a feather, he slowly placed his weight on me and I felt him crush me into the mattress. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him back at the very moment he first pushed his cock into me. I was already wet from his mouth and the lubrication of the condom just made it easier for him as he slipped it into me. Richard was so patient with me. Each time he'd push a little I'd gasp and tighten up and he'd back off a little. I was still in that place where I wanted to have him in me and yet I was still torn by wanting to stay the 'nice girl' my parents demanded that I be.

"I love you."

He said it and then thrust himself all the way into me. It hurt a bit both from the suddenness and from my body having to make room for someone else for the first time. He just let it stay in me a while before he started making his first strokes into me. I felt all the wonder of the universe as he started to make love to me, his body magically part of mine now. I amazed myself with feeling his bare ass rising and falling on my body.

The scent of his hair.

It seemed like some sort of wonderful carnival ride as he pushed me back and forth on the bed with his thrusting into me. He was truly all mine. Too soon, his breathing became more intense and his strokes became slower and deeper into me until he pushed himself as deep as he could into my body and I felt his cock throb inside of me with his pleasure.

"I so love you, Christie, you are so..."

"I love you, too."

He just collapsed on me with his cock still buried in me as he rested from his efforts. It wasn't too long, though, before he reached down between my legs and grasped himself to hold onto the condom as he pulled it out of me. He got up and walked to the bathroom and I heard a faint splash and then the toilet flushed away the loaded rubber. I was exhausted in about every way a girl can be exhausted and had no problem slipping into a very satisfied sleep after Richard came back to bed and cuddled up to me. I felt so safe in his arms.

I woke the next morning to the sun and to Richard kissing my neck to waken me. I had no more shyness and I kissed him back and drew him close to me. He rolled right on top of me and we were soon clenched in a passionate embrace. His cock was already poking at me and I was so eager to have him in me again that I just surrendered as it worked its way into my body. Richards' passion was more controlled now and he began to show me the magic of what a man can do for a woman. He eased himself up my body until I felt his cock rubbing my clit with each stroke and he soon had me delirious with the pleasure he was wringing out of me. Tentatively, I began to answer his thrusts with my hips meeting his and we began to increase our tempo until I felt myself losing control. This orgasm was more of a wonderful glow that just warmed me all over than the jolt I was used to feeling. I spread my legs as wide as I could to try to get him deeper into me, to give me more of this. Richard lifted himself over me in a push-up position to let me see down between us. It was so erotic and fascinating to see his cock pumping itself into my body where nothing had ever been before. I looked up at him just in time to see his mouth open and his eyes close.

"Ahhhh, JESUS!!!!"

He rammed himself into me with all of his strength as he satisfied his need in me. I could feel his cock pulsing in me and there was...something different this time. He pumped himself into me a few more times with a new passion and then he ground deeply into me again as his cock throbbed in me even more. The slight discomfort I had felt from his cock in my pussy was suddenly calmed by a new, wet, slipperiness that began to ooze out of me and, obscenely, down the crack of my ass and onto the sheets.

"Ohmigod, Richard?" I panicked, "tell me you have a condom on?"

He didn't. I was mad at him all morning for his irresponsibility but then I forgave him by that night figuring that if I had his baby he would simply have to marry me. We made love that next night and the remaining three nights of the trip without bothering with the condoms. I soon loved feeling him come inside of me, filling me with the promise of our love together. It is the most erotic and intimate thing I have ever done, to risk having him fill my open and vulnerable body with his child. To this day, I can think of no greater expression of love than to let a man be in your body and fill you with his baby.

I was head over heels in love and committed to this man who now HAD to become my husband! Richard let me off at home and then drove off to leave me with dreams of children and houses and a wedding and dogs and schools and nights by a fire. This celebration of my womanhood lasted a whole three hours. Three whole hours of satisfaction that the world was going to be a wonderful place for Christie.

My whole life came to a crashing end when I heard a woman yelling downstairs. My parents were clearly in shock at this madwoman and she turned her madness to me as I came down the stairs.

"You goddamn slut! You fucked my husband! Who the fuck do you think you are you goddamn little tramp?!"

It was Richard's wife.

That was almost two years ago. My parents right now have not talked to me for almost two months. I embarrassed them and I failed them in probably the worst way possible. I gave up on living in Moscow and moved to California fairly recently and I am now working on building for myself the life I really want to have. I'll probably write about that someday when I have something to write about.

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