My Wife My Partner Ch. 07byKarenkay©
I still remember that night and coming back home and crying my eyes out way into the early morning hours. I remember being by myself and wishing my wife was there with me. I needed her there that night for her comfort and maybe a little guidance.
Instead. She was out on a date with her boyfriend, Mark! Yes. I was upset with her, even with the long talk we had about our love. I knew things wouldn't be the same any longer. It was inevitable to what direction our lives were going at that moment.
Yes. I could change the coarse. Did I? I look back at that night and now wonder if my anger got the best of me. I remember Tammy coming home early the next morning. I remember hearing her crying on the front room sofa.
I remember going to see what was wrong. My thoughts were that maybe she had an argument with Mark? I had suddenly forgot about my own situation. My life! I was worried about what was wrong with my wife!
I remember walking up to Tammy and seeing how upset she was and remembered leaning over and touching her shoulder. I remember how Tammy had suddenly risen up and quickly gave me a hug and started to sob loudly.
I sat on the edge of that sofa that night with my arms around my wife figuring she had just broken up with Mark. Tammy had cried for almost five minutes until she finally muttered a few words between sniffling and clearing her eyes.
I remember what she said. "It's Mark! I don't know what I'm I going to do?"
I remember rubbing her back and holding her as tight as I could and waited for her to tell me the whole story. I wanted to know what went wrong with their relationship? Did he treat her badly? She didn't look abused so I wasn't worried that she was physically hurt.
I remember saying. "There. There. It'll be all right now. Your home now and we are together now. Nobody is going to hurt you."
I had waited several more minutes until Tammy finally wiped her eyes and I kissed her forehead and held her chin with my hand and she kissed me. We kissed again until we were locked passionately mingling out tongues together.
We finally stopped kissing and I remember Tammy clearing her throat and sniffing as she rubbed the back of my head before she spoke. I remember what she said as clearly as if it were today.
"I'm so happy and glad that your going to be here for me while Mark is gone! He's been called up to go to Iraq for maybe up to a year! He promised me he would come back to me safe and sound!"
My heart sank that night when I looked into my wife's eyes and saw the love and compassion she had for Mark and it finally hit me how much she was in love with him. I knew at that moment our marriage was over the way it had been for so long.
Yes. I felt compassion for my wife as I continued to hold her tight and listed to her as she went on and explained everything into more detail.
I listened as she told me he had gotten a registered letter and because he was in the active reserves and the army needed all the soldiers they could get that they were telling him he had to go back. Maybe for up to a year!
I had forgot about everything I was so upset about and turned all my attention onto Tammy at that moment. I remember going to bed that night as we snuggled under the covers. Tammy had fallen asleep with her arm around me for comfort that night.
The week was a mess and I remember how much Tammy walked around the house so depressed that week. Mark was calling her every hour or making arrangements to meeting her for dinner each night and I'm sure there was more!
The following Friday, I had gone along with her to the airport to say goodbye to Mark. I remember watching them hold each other while I stood from a distance and watching them kiss for the last time as Mark walked down the long hallway that would take him to his plane.
I remembered how Tammy and I stood near a window and watched the plane take off into the air and waited until it was completely out of our sight before we walked back to the car. Tammy didn't say one word as we walked back to the car and drove back home.
I drove and all I can remember was Tammy holding her head down and playing with her fingers and that's when I noticed the ring for the first time. She was wearing a large diamond ring on her left hand where our wedding band should have been.
I felt my heart skip a beat as I choked up but didn't say anything as I drove the car. We got home that night and I remembered making dinner for us but Tammy didn't have much of an appetite.
Later that night when we were laying in bed, I asked Tammy about the ring. She smiled as she shook her head and replied.
"Mark gave it to me last night. He wanted me to have it before he left for Iraq!"
I swallowed hard before I asked her my next question. I may have caught her at the right moment and a little off guard.
"I guess he wanted you to have that big diamond engagement ring before he left. Didn't he?"
She took her right hand and played with the ring on her finger as she starred at it with a smile on her face and shook her head in agreement to my question.
"Mark said he was going to wait until he returned home but wanted me to have it now."
I was too upset to reply as my eyes began to form puddles under them and I couldn't see out of them and wipe my hand across my eyes. That's when Tammy realized what she was saying to me and how I felt at that moment.
Tammy tried to pull me closer to her as I said, "This means that he proposed to you?"
Now we were both upset for different reasons and I got up from the bed and stormed out, slamming the door behind me. I ran into another bedroom and laid down and cried my eyes out. Tammy hadn't followed me as I would have assumed she would.
I feel asleep with the sun shining in my eyes the next morning and tuned over to find Tammy sleeping on the bed next to me. She was laying on her side facing me with her hands near her chin. I noticed her left ring finger was now bare. She had removed the ring before coming into the room to sleep next to me.
Tammy's eyes opened and she looked at me and smiled and gave me a big hug. We lay there for a few minutes just starring at each other and I finally took hold of her hand and said.
"Tammy. Why did you take Mark's ring off last night? I want you to go put it on."
"Jenny. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just wasn't thinking last night."
I wanted to be more firm with her as I replied. "I want you to put it on and don't even think about taking it off again. Do you understand?"
Tammy didn't respond but only tilted her head down and starred at my gown as I got out of bed and went out to fix coffee. A few minutes later, Tammy walked into the kitchen and I poured us both a cup of coffee and noticed that she was wearing the ring again.
It meant everything to me at that moment. It told me where her heart was at and where our relationship had gone. That was the morning I had made my decision!
That was eleven months ago! I don't know where to start with everything that had taken place over that period of time. Yes. Tammy and I were still legally married.
I had been taking hormones that whole time now and my body was significantly changing. Into my ninth month I had made another decision to have a breast augmentation. I was now a well developing woman with a bust size of thirty-eight and a cup size of a C now.
My hair was much longer now and I could wear it the way I wanted now without the help of a wig. My skin had gotten softer and I had no problem at all passing for a woman on the street. There was only one thing on my anatomy that kept me from passing as a real woman now.
Yes, My penis! It had become useless for me now. I was one of those transsexuals where the use of my penis was affected by the hormones I was taking. Yes. It got smaller and I could no longer attain an erection.
Yes. I masturbated but when Tammy was gone away from the house but I couldn't get hard any longer and could only orgasm in a small amount from what I was able to do several months ago.
I was seeing my doctor on a weekly basis and we talked about having the surgery on each visit. I never spoke to Tammy about my plans or even hinted to what we talked about at his office.
My relationship changed with Tammy as each month passed. Mark was only able to call her twice since he had been in Iraq but the communicated by email on a weekly basis. Tammy had surprised me last week when she asked me to pose in a picture with her so she could send it to Mark.
I remember getting dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed with Tammy and setting the camera to automatically snap the picture. Tammy had than asked me to take a couple of her on the bed in her nightie. I didn't mind but saw a look on her face and knew exactly what she would like me to do for her.
She wanted to send a sexy nude shot of herself to Mark so we took several and printed them out and mailed them to Mark. Tammy had told me this morning that Mark had got them and thanked me for taking them for her.
That's when we sat down together and made our plans to see an attorney together. We were going to get a divorce! It seemed so sad but on the other hand, we were agreeable to make it fast and uncontested. Tammy and I would still be living together and nothing would change as far as our love for one another. We would love each other but only in a different way. Tammy said she wanted us to remain close, as if we were sisters and made an agreement to that fact.
Tammy drove to the real estate office this morning and I planned to do something I should have done months ago but was holding off. I cleaned out my closet of all my male clothes and put them in boxes to be taken down and donated to a church.
I took my female clothes and started moving everything into the other bedroom and it took me way into the afternoon to finish. When I was done, Tammy's closet was half empty. Everything that was left was her stuff except for a pair of shoes and pants that belonged to Mark.
Tammy cried when she returned home and saw what I had done. Our trip to the attorneys office went smooth that evening and we had dinner afterward.
It felt very strange sleeping in the other bedroom. It was almost a dead silence except a faint sound coming from Tammy's room. Out rooms were connected by one bathroom in between so I decided to go and see what she was doing.
I was shocked when I peeked around the corner and saw Tammy playing with a vibrator. Her eyes were closed and her legs were back against her chest and she was giving herself pleasure with that little plastic toy.
I had no intention of disturbing Tammy but she must have opened her eyes for a split second and saw my reflection in the mirror and called out my name. I walked near the edge of the bed and she held her hand out for me to join her.
She didn't have to say anything as I took the vibrator out of her hand and began where she had left off by rubbing it gently against her clitoris. I kept up the motion for several minutes until Tammy yelled out that she was going to cum.
She had a wonderful orgasm and I felt happy for her and she took the vibrator out of my hand and clicked it off. We laid down next to each other as she rubbed her hand over her pussy mound and just starred at me.
She shocked me with what she said next.
"Have you ever wondered what it would be like to make love to a man?"
I swallowed hard as Tammy starred into my eyes and continued.
"I was just wondering. Have you ever wondered what it would feel like having a pussy of your own and having a man on top of you buried deep inside of you?"
She was stroking my face with her fingers as she waited for an answer. I gave it deep thought before I actually responded to her question.
"Yes. I have! I remember how we use to have sex and remember how you and Mark made love together. It seemed so different! For you I meant!"
Tammy spoke freely as she replied.
"Yes. Having sex with Mark was much different from what we had. I think at first I was afraid of him being black and all but I soon found that I got very excited thinking about having a black man inside me."
I lay their listening as Tammy continued.
"I felt so afraid because he is so huge and I thought he was going to hurt me at first but than I found out how gently he was. How such a big powerful man could be as gentle as a puppy with me and give me so much pleasure."
Tammy's finger was spreading her pussy lips open as she spoke to me.
"Jenny. Your going to have to experience yourself what I've experienced to know exactly what I mean. I really feel sorry for you right now because you're stuck between two sexes and I think you should consider going all the way."
I couldn't believe Tammy was saying this to me. It was if she knew what I was talking about with my doctor.
"Honey. I want you to be a happy person inside and want you to explore the idea of having the surgery. Don't worry. Jenny, if you want me to speak to your doctor with you than I will go."
It took me a lot of courage to be able to explain to Tammy that I had already spoken to the doctor about the change and she didn't have to go with me. That's when she started kissing my face in every corner and began crying.
Tammy's hands were all over my face and I could smell her pussy on her fingers' and it caused me to think about Mark for a moment.
"Has Mark given you any indication when he'll be home from Iraq?"
"Yes. Mark emailed me this morning that he had to stay another eight weeks before they relieved his company and he is hoping he can come back than!"
I boldly rubbed my hand on Tammy's mound trying to break the intense feelings I had about myself and tried to joke with her.
"I bet you can't wait until he gets back here, can you?"
"Jenny! Don't talk like that! Please!"
I could see it in her eyes that she was just acting innocently toward me and didn't want to hurt my feelings.
I put my hand on her shoulder and pulled Tammy closer and kissed her on the nose saying. "I understand how you feel. You don't have to worry about hurting my feelings. I've thought this out for a long time."
For all intense purposes, I was practically another woman laying beside Tammy and I felt that we could talk about everything. This was the closest that we had been in months again as we laid their talking about the procedures of that type of operation and all the risks involved.
We must have talked for a couple hours about things I discussed with my doctor. Before I even realized it, Tammy and I were laying right next to each other with our legs locked together and she was touching my breasts.
Tammy scooted down so she could touch my nipples with her tongue and gently begin licking tiny circles around them. It felt good having someone stimulate me like she was doing. We hadn't had any sex in months.
It wasn't that I didn't want it, it was just that I felt there wasn't any reason to because I couldn't satisfy my wife or should I say, my-soon to be ex-wife any longer.
She scooted herself around until she climbed above my face and before I knew it, we were doing a sixty-nine. Tammy was sucking me the best she could but it didn't matter because I couldn't obtain an erection.
Tammy's mouth felt good no matter if I could get hard. She worked on me as if she were licking a woman's clit. I worked my tongue into her pussy as she pushed herself down onto me. The vibrator was laying on the bed behind me so I picked it up and slowly played with it at the opening of her pussy.
She was rotating her hips so I turned on the tiny button making it vibrate. We kept this up until Tammy had an orgasm and she turned around and gave me a huge kiss on my lips. She put her mouth back down on my limp penis and continued sucking me.
She worked so hard on me that I finally was able to cum and shot a tiny load of sperm into her mouth. It felt so good having my wife perform this on me again. Once she finished, she lay back down along the side of me as we starred into each other's eyes.
I had something on my mind and decided to ask Tammy the question.
"Tammy. Do you feel like you just cheated on Mark by doing that to me?"
Tammy smiled at me and stroked the back of my head as she replied. "No. Not at all! Honey. It's not like you're really any sort of threat to him. You're almost a woman now and besides, we were married for a long time. Nothing will ever take away the special relationship we have together."
We laid their stroking each other as I spoke to her.
"Tammy. What's going to happen with us when Mark returns home? Are you going to want me to move out of the house?"
"Nonsense! I don't even think of something like that?! You're always welcome to stay here. I've already discussed that with Mark and we think you should stay here with us!"
Did Mark know about me? Did he know that Tammy and I were married? Could Tammy have told him the truth about us? That was my next question.
"Tammy. Did you tell Mark the truth about me? Did you tell him the whole story?"
"Honey. I had to tell Mark the truth about us! I couldn't go on pretending something different was happening!"
I really didn't know how to respond at that moment. What was he thinking about me? A fag? A wimp? How could Tammy tell him the truth about us?
She took her time explaining everything to me and I guess I understood why she told him. At least we had a better understanding of each other after that night. It seemed as if we reached another plateau in our lives.
The next few weeks were good to both of us as we were told our divorce wouldn't be dragged out for months because we were both agreeable with everything and we weren't fighting about anything!
Tammy got word from Mark that his time had been extended for another month and I continued making plans for my operation.
Tammy met with my doctor and we all discussed where it was going to take place. My doctor had an associate he worked with from Bangkok who was willing to perform the surgery. Over the next few weeks I made my plans to go and Tammy said she would travel with me.
I have to admit that I was extremely nervous, the whole week leading up to flying out of the country but Tammy gave me all the support I needed.
Our friend Jean gave all her support and offered to fly with us to Bangkok but I told her I'd be fine.
It seemed to go fast and before I knew it, I was waking up and saw the sun shining in the window. I felt sore and blankets covered my body. I heard voices and turned my head to see Tammy standing next to the bed talking to a nurse.
Everything seemed to go so fast and within two weeks, Tammy and I were on a plane heading back to the United States.
Tammy helped me get around the house but I got stronger with each day and with each visit to my doctor. He told us that my operation was a total success and explained everything to us. I was using a thing which resembled Tammy's vibrator which seemed sort of funny to me.
We laughed about it and Tammy said she would buy me my own soon. I got stronger and felt more comfortable with each day.
Tammy ran into my room one morning all excited and she told me that Mark was coming home. I felt glad for her and we hugged and kissed. When Tammy walked out of the room, I felt nervous thinking about facing Mark when he returned home.
I thought about what would happen. Would he move his clothes into the house right away? Did it really matter anymore? I was a woman now!
The next night, Tammy had an appointment to see her doctor the same time as my appointment. She didn't explain anything to me until we were at the drug store filling our prescriptions when I saw the pharmacist put a packet of birth control pills into the little bag at the counter.
Tammy and I were driving back home when I asked her about them and she told me she was preparing for Mark for when he returned home. I never really gave it any thought until she told me. I felt stupid!