Revenge of the Nerd Ch. 78byrpsuch©
Yes, there would be a wedding ready to go tomorrow evening. I just didn't know if there would be a groom in attendance.
I couldn't decide what to beat myself up over first: that I had not listened to Jeff when he warned me about my father, that I had somehow believed that Jeff could have done what he was accused of or that I let my guard down and had given any credence to my father's allegations.
I was engulfed in agitation. I wanted to do something, but all the advice I had been given said to be patient. I wasn't a patient kind of girl.
There are some things about which you have no choice whether to be patient or do something. Your twenty-first birthday will come twenty-one years after you are born; no sooner and no later. The Fourth of July celebration will come on the Fourth of July; no sooner and no later. You may have an anticipatory celebration, but it isn't a Fourth of July celebration. Eighteen years after you are born you gain the right to vote.
There are many other things that may actually require patience, especially things in someone else's control. Often, however, they only appear to require patience. Even if others are in control you may have the opportunity or opportunities to influence their decisions or actions.
On the other hand, sometimes you succeed in influencing them. By pushing too soon or too hard you push them to close their mind to the alternative you are seeking.
Given the choice of doing nothing, which actually is doing something, or doing something, I preferred to take action.
This was great. I had come to a decision. Do something.
I got in my car and drove to the Goldberg's house. Jeff's car was not there. That fit my plan. If Jeff were here I would not have tried to talk to him. I did not want to press the issue. With Jeff gone, I planned to try to talk to Sunny. I didn't want her to plead my case to Jeff, I wanted her advice.
I walked up to the door and hesitated only briefly before I rang the bell with not a little trepidation. What would I say if Sandy answered?
The door swung open. "Ashley."
"Hi, Sandy. Is Sunny in?" It was much easier than I had imagined.
She smiled. "She's in her office."
"You are very wise, you know."
After I turned and headed for Sunny's office I heard her call, "When you're not being too stupid to live."
"I went a little bit crazy last night."
"I could use a bit of advice."
"I figured that from what Sandy told me. TSTL, huh?"
"So, what you need to do is talk with Jeff about it?"
"Yes. And everybody keeps telling me to be patient. It's driving me crazy."
"Well, you need to talk to Jeff about it."
"Yes!" Somebody understood; victory.
"When he's ready to talk to you."
I knew that. I didn't want to push him as long as he would do it now. My face must have shown my disappointment.
"There is no point in talking with him until he's ready. It's like trying to do calculus before you learn algebra."
Sunny read my expression.
"That's what Jeff told me. I didn't quite get it either, but I'm sure it's a good analogy. This is a tough one. Maybe it's more like you can't explain something to somebody else until you understand it yourself. I don't know; that could be right.
"In any event, I am sure you won't accomplish anything useful by talking to Jeff before he's ready."
"So… another vote for patience."
Sunny smiled and nodded.
"Maybe I could get a second opinion."
Sunny laughed. "I thought you did."
I rolled my eyes. "More than one second opinion."
"So, have you learned anything?" she asked.
"He's not perfect, you know."
"No. But, he's trustworthy."
She nodded. "So you got something useful out of this."
"Only if I still have Jeff."
Sunny rocked forward and back from her chest up.
"Now I understand the desire for urgency."
She was unreadable. I couldn't tell what she knew or if she knew anything at all.
I raised my shoulders. "So, what can you tell me?"
"I don't know anything," she said.
"If I did know anything, I wouldn't tell you. Jeff would have to do that."
I knew. That didn't make me like it.
"Go do something with your friends. Make plans. Go shopping. Go food shopping if you have to. Go bowling."
That was the first thing that lightened my mood.
"You know, Ashley, people worry about a lot of things over which they have no control whatsoever. They also worry about some things over which they do have some control. If you have some control, do something. But, I've never heard of a case where worrying fixes a problem over which one has no control."
"So, I just shouldn't worry?"
"Do you know anyone who has that kind of control?"
She thought about it briefly. "No."
"So just go bowling?"
"Sandy, how would you like to go bowling?"
She gave me a look like she thought I should be involuntarily committed for evaluation.
"Okay, how about shopping?" I asked.
"Now you're talking."
I didn't know if I was going to lose Jeff. Even if I did, I didn't want to lose his family.