The summer before my senior year of college I spent the third week of August with my roommate Karen. She had kept begging me to come and hang out with her.
"More fun than you can possibly imagine," Karen nagged, “please come for a visit. You’ll love it, I promise.”
"What's up with that?" is what I usually responded whenever she went on about her family and their big old farmhouse in western Kansas. "What exactly is there to do in west Kansas? There are no oceans, no lakes, just miles and miles of flat land and tornadoes. Where do you wear your bikini to, the tanning salon?"
"We do have Finney Wildlife Area and Bison Refuge nearby," Karen whined about her hometown of Garden City.
Well, I went. At least I could ride my Harley because they did have roads. I muttered as I cruised along I-70 through Kansas , "No frigging wonder Dorothy took the first ride outa the place."
Did you ever see a dude ride a Harley in Kansas? They pull one variety of farm equipment or another behind it. I don't know what you call them damn things; threshers and tillers and whatever. I am definitely not mechanically inclined except when it comes to Harleys and vibrators.
"And where the hell are my fresh batteries?" I kept asking myself out loud as I rode and rode and rode. The vibrating Harley between my legs gave me a little buzz but not nearly as good as my favorite toy.
Of course, the first thing I had to do when I got to Karen's rhymed with see. Nobody seemed to be around. I opened the screen door to the front porch and the door to the house being wide open, I went right in. I mean, I like had to go, you know?
They didn't even have a door to the john; just a curtain. Nice big bathroom though.
I'm sitting there doing my thing and feeling a whole lot better about life in general.
This wimpy little dude walks in on me just wearing a towel. Of course, I recognized Karen's brother who she talked about like some of our campus galpals talked about sexually transmitted diseases. I recalled she called him Willy.
So Willy, he never says "Excuse me" or nothing, stands right in front of me just sitting there on the can in total shock, drops his towel, grabs his little dick and says, "Yo, biker babe, you want some of this?"
I am not often speechless but this act defied words. He turned around and got into the shower. Well, I simply couldn't let this just pass with no comment.
I pulled back the shower curtain and yelled over the streaming water, "Your sister is right. You are the only living abortion. Do your friends call you 'Needledick the bug fucker' or what? I'm done on the toilet. It’s your turn now. I see what Karen meant when she said you are the only guy she knows who has to pee sitting down."
And then Karen walks in. Getting a little crowded here, but like I said,, a big bathroom.
She gave me a big hug and we kind of slobbered on one another.
"What's up with your brother? What a dweeb!"
"Yeah, but he is family. We all have a cross to bear." With that she stripped off her clothes and got into the shower with her brother.
Well, I was hearing noises and I simply couldn't resist pulling back the shower curtain.
Karen was on her knees in the shower and sucking her brother's cock.
And then their father walks in. Getting a little more crowded here, but like I said, big bathroom.
I'm thinking like "Oh, shit!" because he looked really angry. At the same time I'm whispering, "Oh, shit!" because isn't whatever happens next going to be so amusing; the stuff of which soap operas are made. "Don't bend over for the soap, Willy," I said under my breath and giggled.
William, the father, he looked pretty rugged for an old dude. He was a widower. Karen's mom, like mine, was an angel up in heaven.
I'm still standing there with my jeans and panties down because things were moving too fast for me to even think about pulling them up. And the old dude is paying me no mind, at least for now.
William ripped open the shower curtain. The kid Willy was so shocked he pulled his dick out of Karen's mouth.
"Yo, dad!" Willy said in greeting and looked quite pleased.
Karen, her mouth empty at the moment, squealed "Hi, Daddy!" and continued to stroke her brother with her hand.
Karen went back down on Willy again hard and fast, pulled him out and he shot cum all over her face. She looked at her father, not her brother, and asked, "How’s that? Better?"
I almost choked, which prevented me from saying, "What in the hell is going on here?"
William said to his son sternly, "Get your ass up in your bedroom. I'll deal with you later. After I finish with your sister and ..." and he looked at me.
Willy ran out and didn't even bother to grab his towel. I figured Karen just might get a beating right about then.
But no, William looked at me, not her. "Do you think this is funny, bitch? I heard you snickering."
"Well, ah, no. No sir. It's just ..." I stuttered and stammered.
William grabbed my long hair roughly as he sat on the toilet. He pulled me down on his lap and started paddling my bare bum.
I couldn't believe my ears. Karen screamed, "Harder daddy! Fucking smack her good. She likes it rough."
With that Karen got out of the shower, got a stool that was sitting in a corner, stood on it right in front of the toilet, bent at the knees and stuck her pussy in her father's face. Oh my, I thought, he's spanking his daughter's best friend and eating his daughter. This definitely should be on one of those talk shows.
I knew it wouldn't take Karen long from personal experience. Put your tongue on her clit, show a little enthusiasm and she would get off in minutes. I'm quick but she's quicker.
When she did, her daddy turned his full attention to me. He pushed me off his lap and onto the floor, slipped it right inside me and started humping like crazy. This went on for what seemed like an eternity and I'm fighting him, scratching and biting and trying to squirm free. None of it seemed to faze him one bit.
I suppose I could have pushed him off if I wanted but I didn’t and for whatever reason I stopped fighting. Well, I know why; I began to enjoy it. I made the mistake of grabbing William’s face and kissing him passionately. He stopped. He fucking stopped!
William nonchalantly pulled up his pants and walked out of the bathroom. Karen helped me up off the floor and we straightened ourselves up. I didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything. Karen was smirking and finally I just couldn't help laughing myself. I mean, talk about some crazy shit!
We crept upstairs to hear what was going on with father and son.
"Willy," we heard dear old dad say, "your sister is going back to college in a few days. You need a girlfriend. Here's a phone number. Her name is Jennifer. Ask her out. I'm very good friends with her mom. You can use my car but dammit, be careful. Remember you don't have a license. Don't go far. With the car I mean. You can go as far as you want with Jennifer. Just make sure you use a condom. Here. If you need more just get them out of my top left dresser drawer."
We crept back downstairs, me in total shock and Karen giggling.
Dinner with the "fucking family" was wonderful. Lots of invigorating conversation. Willy kept right on pissing me off.
Willy thought he him to be so computer literate and me to be so stupid. "Hey, you are old, you know anything about DOS," he threw at me.
When I replied, "Yeah, asshole, that's Spanish for two," he like went spastic.
"Keep spanking that monkey ten times a day, shit for brains," I continued. "It'll grow. Pretty soon it will fit in a thimble, you pimple faced pussy. You are what you'll never get. Pussy."
And then the daddy slapped Willy with one hand and me with the other. Willy shut right up and so did I. But I would not have except William put his hand under the table and started tickling the inside of my thigh.
After dinner Willy actually started being nice to me. He and Karen pleaded with me to go to the nursing home with them and daddy to visit their grandmother. Really big fun I'm thinking but I said OK.
We get there and grandma is really spaced out. Karen explained the situation. "She has Alzheimer's disease and only rarely recognizes people or familiar things. Daddy knows how to jar her back into the real world. Watch him! He should have been a doctor."
William helped his mother out of her rocking chair and onto her knees. He unzipped his pants and pulled it out. "Mother, let me help you take out your dentures."
"Son, is that you?" she said as soon as she felt him with her gums.
"Willy, come here and say hello to your grandmother," the father commanded. Sonny had his pants down before daddy even finished the sentence.
Fifteen minutes later this old biddy was as lucid as you or I and the five of us really had a pleasant visit. She told some great stories about her life in the circus fifty years ago. What a memory! The stories about her and the midget triplets seemed just too incredible. The dudes were named Little Larry, Little Curly and Little Moe.
"They had little you know whats but really long tongues!" Grandma cackled in fond remembrance.
When we returned to the house we were all beat and I became a little concerned about the sleeping arrangements.
Not to worry. We all slept in William's bedroom, in his king size bed. I even got to like Willy a little that night. I mean, he could get it up quickly again and finally I found the answer for getting him to shut up. Karen and I gave him a cute little nickname, Muffy.
As for William, well, he finally finished what he started in the bathroom hours before and quite well, thank you. I now understood why Karen occasionally referred to him as Daddy Dearest.
I stayed for seven days. By the time I left, they all joked about adopting me.
"Sorry. I have a father. And I'm on my way to see him for a couple days before I have to be back to that wonderful institution of higher learning." We all kissed and hugged and off I went.
My mother had passed away more than five years ago and my father went into a shell. He never seemed to be interested in women or much else for that matter.
It was about 2:00 AM when I pulled into the driveway. Home sweet home. I had my own key of course.
I crept up to my father's bedroom and went right in like I always do. Always the light sleeper, he heard me even as I tiptoed and woke. "Sugar, is that you?"
"No, Daddy, it's the Avon Lady, like you would pay any attention to her anyway, even if she looked like Sharon Stone and wasn't wearing ... , oh never mind."
"Sugar, why didn't you tell me you were coming? Your room is a mess. I moved a bunch of furniture and stuff in there while I remodel the den."
"Daddy, I'm not sleeping in my stupid room with all the stuffed animals. Would you please get rid of that shit? I'm a big girl now."
"OK, you know where the blankets are, in the front closet, if you are sleeping on the couch."
"Daddy, I'm not sleeping on the couch."
"Sugar, you have to stay. You can't go riding off in the middle of the night. I want you to stay."
"I am, Daddy."
"You are one crazy girl. I'll talk to you in the morning wherever it is you decide to sleep." With that he turned on his side away from me and stuck his head under the pillow.
I slipped off my clothes, got in the bed and snuggled up to him.
"Sugar, whaaa ...?
"Daddy, here's your Sugar." I kissed him lovingly and gently placed his hand between my legs and I slipped my own hand down the front of his pajamas.
"Daddy, pretend I'm an angel. Pretend I'm Mom. I miss her so much, don't you Daddy?"
Daddy held me tightly and kissed me hungrily and then he called me "Margaret" as he entered me. That was my mother’s name.
I visited Daddy again at Christmas break. I met his girlfriend Evelyn, very pretty and a super person. Daddy gave her an engagement ring on New Year’s Eve. He has never quit thanking me for reminding him why God made woman. Daddy doesn't call me Sugar anymore.
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