All Comments on 'A Clear View Ch. 03'

by orie

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AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
another way

to try and write something that should have been erotic. in the end you failed miserably. why ? because never when people ignore the most important rules any kind of society has, like decency and respectfulness, something good will finally happen. these rules are so old they are not even written in any kind of "law book".

and what happend here ? they are all from dead to fucking unhappy and not really a gleam of hope, at least I don't think when 2 drowning people come together to keep each others company it's something to look forward.

so yet another sad tale only a suicide can find erotic.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
I agree.

Tge first chapter was okay, second really dropped the ball, but the last chapter? It really sucks ass. You've taken a really fascinating story and killed it.

SabarthSabarthabout 9 years ago
When is the next story?

Enjoyed it, epilogue could have ended after "December 1". Actually I felt saddened seeing epilogue as I knew another of your story was over, will await the next one. Thanks

mabell3368mabell3368about 9 years ago
Snif!

Another winner from one of my favorite authors on this site.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
Forget it

Excellent piece of fiction. Forget the negative comments. The story was well done. ell worth the %.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
Ah Orie

I do so like your writing! Thanks!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
I disagree

I found the story improved as it went on. The last chapter earned five stars from me. Great writing, great dialog, almost believable story.

whismerhillwhismerhillalmost 9 years ago
a few corrections

awesome story, although I'm a bit sad at seeing it end xD

a few corrections I think :

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PAGE 4

***

Bryan and Linda looked out on the rain.

"Jeff, I'm so sorry. We never meant to hurt you. The whole thing was not planned and..."

---------------------------------------

it's not Jeff Linda's talking to, I'm pretty sure it's Bryan

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PAGE 5

"Amen, brother," said Mark and raised his bottle.

"Is what it is," Bob said.

"Bryan," said Carol, "We can't believe that Jeff and Judy are divorcing. We don't understand what led to it, but I guess maybe Jeff explained it on your walk."

---------------------------------------

I'm pretty sure It's not Jeff & Judy who are divorcing but Jeff & Linda.

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Deep SoakerDeep Soakeralmost 9 years ago
Loquacious Linda

It is extremely unusual to introduce suicide in an erotic story. However, this story handled it well and used it to explain Bryan's unusual behavior. Apart from name slips mentioned by someone else, the only thing that struck me as unbelievable was Linda's account of the threesome with Judy and Jeff. Linda was not a writer. She would not have, and probably could not have, given the long and detailed description of what happened.

So, sour grapes on an otherwise full and well developed story. Thanks for this contribution.

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
one of the best

would benefit by finding a editor.

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Not a 4F story

While this has plenty of hot sex, it is not a "find em, feel em, fuck em and forget em" work. Well done. 5*.

maddictmaddictover 8 years ago
Agreed.

This is a good story and I enjoyed all parts of it, I really do like a happy and satisfying ending. Was there some parallel to Marks over worked life and Judys over active life ? Bryan is some common thread to find relief or repentance or joy for that matter.

That was a powerful page four and I realized its not all fun and games with others emotions and lives in the balance.

I look forward to more of your adventurers.

lowkeyonelowkeyoneover 8 years ago
WOW

What a magnificent story. !!! The detail and complexity of each character and relationship between each other was a delight, I loved it. THANK YOU.

Advice_GirlAdvice_Girlover 8 years ago
Great story

What a good story. From a woman's point of view it has a very nice blend of feelings and eroticism, not often found.

Loved it.

AG

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
So well written

Real people, living loving hurting sometimes f'd up. Yes, quite erotic often too. Typos. Thanks -- do keep writing

ProfDavrosProfDavrosabout 8 years ago
Deeply felt reaction to this one

I rarely get so worked over emotionally by a story here. This one aroused and titilated and saddened and lifted me in turn. A bit like being bounced and rolled by the body surfing waves mentioned in the story.

So similar to reality of my life in parts that I was left with a tear of recognition to go along with the joy of friends' lives working out.

The treatment in this story of depression, anxiety, mania, obsession and other mental illness and problems is so realistic and makes everything including the suicide plausible and consistent.

I admire Bryan's strength and ethics, able to think with his "big head" at times others might do otherwise.

Your work is first class Orie. Keep to it!

nudetexannudetexanabout 8 years ago
Awesome

I really enjoyed the story. I'm definitely going to be reading more of your stories and look forward to any more you write. Very well written and told.

rider999rider999about 8 years ago
Authentic fiction

I had never been to Cape Cod until your words transported me. Great writing. Wonderful emotions imbedded in these words. Imagine that - 2 dimensional words detail a 3 dimensional world so completely that I can say I was there at the beach while this happened.Great story. Everyone just lay off the errors - use the willing suspension of disbelief to ignore the temptation to nitpick.

lowkeyonelowkeyonealmost 8 years ago
WOW

I forgot what a fantastic author you are.THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Well THAT was not your typical

sex story...but I read thru all 3 parts without stopping. I almost think I liked it but wow it got pretty deep there!! Quite a tale. Thanks...Scotty

emotions_secretesemotions_secretesover 7 years ago
nice story

After she'd fucked his wife though, how could he forgive Linda?

StevelrStevelrabout 7 years ago
Outstanding

Loved it. Very well done.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Great stuff. Love the places this goes. Forgiveness isn't what this is about though...

I love the exploration of forgiveness, but that's not what Bryan gave Jeff. He just gave him the right to live and a more realistic perspective on the damage his genital based decisions caused. Forgiveness would imply that two people could still relate to each other. Bryan didn't forgive him, he simply agreed not to exact revenge upon him. This was an excellent story, however. I really wish this other was still submitting work.

WyggyWyggyalmost 7 years ago
Friendly touch and more

Well written, each chapter finished letting you with the wonderment about what is to come. The next chapter started off blending into the previous with a new twist. The ending was tied up with a nice bow, leaving it open for a 5 year look back and update or not.

Good work.

winchesterfoxwinchesterfoxover 6 years ago
Nice work

I enjoyed the story so much that it moved me to write to tell you. I use this site for enjoyment and entertainment. Too bad there is not a system to categorize reviews so as to be able to choose which ones to read and which to not even know of their existence.

bbarebbareover 6 years ago
Outstanding Series!

Another great job of exploring the erotic feelings and emotional turmoil that goes with cheating...and suicide is a realistic solution for some that can't deal with guilt. Looking forward to more great work from you.

chrisp69chrisp69over 6 years ago
couldn't stop

couldn't stop reading these till I had read all three

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
well writen

wow, somebody who can write in ENGLISH

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Amazing

You are an amazing story teller. This series was superb. Thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
I Liked your story!

There are a lot of stories on this site but your stories are great and I found that I could not stop reading once I started. The story made me a bit emotional a couple of times and and I just felt compelled to let you know I think your work is really, really good. I can connect with it. I will just say this, I wanted to read more about Bryan and Linda and the events that would get them together in a loving, unique and special way and of course the good time in bed they would have had. It ended abruptly for me but it was still good. I agree there are some edit issues throughout, I can overlook it because your writing is excellent.

BoyertownBoyertownabout 6 years ago

It has now been two years and two days with still no additional chapter. Do we have to pay you or what? :)

Give us what we so need ... and I believe you know what that is ...

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
Elegantly done

My congratulations for a fine piece of work. Totally enjoyed it. I agree with another comment or, how pleasant it was to read good grammar well assembled. I hope to see more of this tale or at least more from you. You are a gifted storyteller!

Writer2000Writer2000over 5 years ago
Excellent story!

Well done for writing this story. The original idea is simple enough but the complexity emerges as the story unfolds. The men, except Bryan the main protagonist, are not well delineated but the females are complex and evoke much empathy from the reader. As usual you explore female sexuality and eroticism really well. The sex is nicely and delicately described and in context. Keep writing, you do it so well!

addi01edaddi01edover 4 years ago
In need of an editor

1st of, liked the series. Your style is engaging with likable characters and believable behaviours/situations.Your talent puts you far above most authors here.

This however does not showcase it well. Wrong name too often broke me out of the story, 1st person perspective on occasion instead of the usual 3rd, paragraph or two that don't fit seemingly left over from earlier rewrites, some forced/contrived forgiveness without any internal struggle... on the whole, rather sloppy ending to this story for someone of your calibre.

Please keep writing though. Really like reading you =)

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
Over the line into ... Literature

I was surprised at how much more this was than four couples at a beach house. Deep and well done. You have started a new genre, and it will grow. In the future, it will be OK for standard literature to have realistic, uncontrived, and explicit sex in it. The erotic part will blend naturally into the story, as it does in this example of your great writing. Thank you.

southernreb27southernreb27over 4 years ago
addio1ed

addio1ed I see you have never written a single story & put up to be read. before you write anything about what I do I just read other stories & enjoy them. wish I had the mind to write but I don't .don't try to find reason to either.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago

That would make a fantastic movie!!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

I found your stories a couple of weeks ago. These are great, not just good. Scenarios, characters, background detail, you have the lot. I worked in an artroom as a model, first day back, late October, heating off since March. I was warm enough, despite 20 students and a tutor telling me it was cold. Lunchtime I read Victor Hugo's description of a cold February morning at Notre Dame, and in the afternoon requested a heater. Not many writers can do that, well done and thankyou. Bob

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago
more than a couple typos but a great read!

"Bryan," said Carol, "We can't believe that Jeff and Judy are divorcing. We don't understand what led to it, but I guess maybe Jeff explained it on your walk."

island_manisland_manalmost 3 years ago

Superb. Absolutely beautifully written

UncertainTUncertainTabout 2 years ago

Breathtaking and powerful. Thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

I do not not know what to say beyond what I have already said in a previous story by you. You truly understand how reality (realism) is vital to fiction to be successful.For the story line,the characters and their responses to situations are as in real life. It is the 3rd tale composed by you I have now read. Yes you lost track of names a couple times in this tale which made me reread the paragraph to get it straight in my head and confirm it was a mistake not me getting lost. Your writing pulled you thru. I now am electing to read all your submissions as the 3 tales I have read have proven you are not a fluke at writing a good tale that's easy to accept due to realism and good thought out writing.You are rare on this site as a writer...easy 5 stars ...JZK

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

Wow. Really superb story. I loved the characters and the depth and their flaws and their dreams. And it was hot. You are gifted in bringing to life these characters. Congratulations on an amazing work and thank you. I got immersed in it! Oh, and I shared it with my wife and she is in it right now.

SailorDougSailorDougabout 1 year ago

Great story. Characters and development. As said by others a few slips with the character names. But look fwd to reading more of your work

RickshawroadRickshawroad8 months ago

Beautiful story deserving more than 5*

Where did you go?

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Really well done...hopefully you will be back to writing and posting soon!

TEXASMADDOGTEXASMADDOG3 months ago

Oh, yes, DEFINITELY a Five**5**Star tale...ups-and-downs, suspicions confirmed (not the way I thought, either...Bob was my primary suspect, from his original behavior!)

The ending was most excellent!!

A couple of "Jeff and Judy's" when you meant Jeff and Linda; plus, 'diners' instead of dinners in one paragraph when Linda, Sasha, and Bryan were at the beach for their week!!

AnonymousAnonymous2 months ago

An absolut great story, A bit of a drama. Without happy end, but good end, sexy but not fucking overload , one of the Best adult stories I found here, Thanks.

DadiesdreamsDadiesdreamsabout 2 months ago

Wow, what a beautiful story much more than erotica. A very well written piece,with well fleshed out characters and a great story. A mystery and a romance,and a friendship. I thoroughly enjoyed from beginning to end.

SackettheartSackettheartabout 1 month ago

Wow, what a great story. I read another story on here that I have marked as a favorite where the wife was killed while overseas and before the husband could confront her about the affair. She left him a note as well because she supposedly love him like Judy loved Bryan. So much unresolved feelings that can never be expressed to the one who hurt you so deeply. I feel sick and want to lash out myself to her in this story. But it's like a car wreck I can't help but look. Such a great story. Wish there was more of an ending for Bryan's life after Judy. I also agree with just about everyone else what a great writer you are but more needs to be done with the editing to fix the errors that ruin the flow where we need to re read to get it right. To me the details always count. I'm going to read all you works because so far I have throughly enjoyed your works.

Anonymous
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