All Comments on 'A Boy and His Genie Ch. 05'

What happened to Chapter 4? Did you forget and labeled Chapter 4 as Chapter 5 or did you post Chapter 5 out of sequence? Like the story so far but missing a chapter tends to make the story a harder to follow.

Ummm shouldn't this be chapter 4? Did I miss one?

I'm sorry about this going up before Chapter 4. What happened is that I submitted 4 before 5, but I went back to edit some grammar on 4. I forget to re-submit 4 properly, so 5 ended up ahead of it in the mkderatiln queue. I'm hoping 4 will be approved today to go up tomorrow. Sorry again.

I'm glad the story is getting more intriguing. mindless endless sex gets very boring.

I like how you're expanding the story.

I know that this story needed a plot device and something more that wall-to-wall sex (as a previous reader mentioned), but to have it turn into a conspiracy by a group of rich businessmen to control the lamps is asking a bit much, I think. This development is beginning to resemble a lot of young-adult movies that have come out lately and, while this may not necessarily be a bad thing over-all, it's just not my cup of tea. I'm too old and sophisticated for anything this quaint to make it worth my while. It's not your fault, DragoTime, and I continue to wish you the best in future endeavors, as always. Take care...

Roger.

If you re-read Chapter 1, you'll see that the rules haven't been broken. The rule is that the general public cannot become aware of genies. Lumiosa even specifically says in Chapter 1 that Matt can tell people if he wants, as long as the human race as a whole doesn't find out. The actual line is:

"Thirdly, you are forbidden from making the existence of genies public knowledge. You may tell people about me, but the general public must not become aware of me."

I really appreciate your story. It started off with a well known premise, non the less well crafted. The plot twist that the protagonist meets another genie "holder" was an amazing idea and added a refreshing touch to the concept. So far I like this story and I'm impressed how fast you write new chapters. But I 't say that I like the turn the story took in this chapter. I hope you will keep writing this story with cana funny, erotic fiction in mind and not a serious conspiracy thriller.

However, I enjoyed your story and I'm eager to read more from you soon!

In an earlier chapter, Matt removed the anti-theft measure that caused his lamp to burn people's fingers. It would be a good idea to restore it, and add a few other sensible precautions to keep the lamp from being stolen by a collector, including naming an heir.

If there's a rule against magicking other people who have genies, and the genies themselves, how can someone make wishes that control other genies' lamps? That seems like a huge loophole! Also, if Matt is an unknown family member (presumably that explains why he got the lamp), does that mean he can take ALL the lamps and hide them from this guy?

Telling people about the genies IS telling the general public.

having one person give commands to the Genie of another is a violation of the rules you previously established. And having the Genie of one person alter or interfere with the master of another Genie is just as wrong.

" and all other Masters, are forbidden from interfering with another person's wishes, or making a wish that would interfere with another Master's physical or mental state."

You guys are idiots rules have not been broken and nothing has been written wrong great story keep writing

The fact that the writer doesn't understand the very words "general public" is tragic for language itself.

The very fact that in this chapter the old rich white guy found out about Sophie (and not Matt, so who saw THAT coming?) proves the very premise of "it isn't the general public". She made a curse that came true in front of countless classmates! How much more 'general public' can it get?!

The story is stupid, and the apologists that just want to live out a teen fantasy (nobody believes this is even an 18 year old, more like 13...and a dumb one at that) can obviously do so, but stop pretending the rest of us are as dumb.

This is like a class on how NOT to write a proper plot. If this was not pornographic (and bad at it, too), I'd take it to am actual high school class and show them what NOT to write.

Plot holes, loopholes for McGuffin's sake, rough continuity, grammar (the writer says he went BACK to fix stuff?!)...

There is some amazing content on this site.

This is not it by a long shot.

This is badly written. To me it shows the Lit masters have minimal standards.