All Comments on 'The True Master Ch. 07'

Your doing a fine job, sex or not , it's weaving itself together well. I look forward to each new chapter w/ anticipation. My only complaint is the length of each. I'm not a writer and to type this much is extremely difficult with me being disabled as i am. I lust want to let you know I thank you for giving me a chance to slip from the bonds of constant pain and immobility. As I read your story I see a kaleidoscope of images playing in my mind, i admit to at times to allowing the images to get ahead of my reading lol. ty for a great story line and good read/ bill lol 30 min to type this, see what i mean. be well

I've not commented before, though considering how often I check back hoping for the next chapter, you'd think I would have! This story is one of my favorites. I love the story, the touch of verisimilitude, the subject. I love mind control stories from the perspective of the controlled, which is usually a rarity here on Literotica. I'd try to offer constructive criticism, but what you're writing is better than I can imagine.

You had me very worried when the door exploded inward on Kate and the Master, and again when the Master thought he had erased Kate's personality for good. While these scenes twisted my gut in knots with worry, I think they really served to make the Master's triumphs more exhilarating.

I really liked how this chapter ended. I'm very similar to the Master: a skilled programmer, loved by those I sometimes feel that I don't deserve, trouble sleeping due to endless worries. Where I turned to hypnosis to help me sleep, Kate found an even nicer way to help the Master shut off his mind. This was actually the first time I envied him. Usually, I'm envying Kate for the fun and sexy things her Master orders, and for the way she gives everything of herself to her love.

On that note, my favorite sex scene was the first night the Master spent with all three of his slaves. When he ordered Kate to lay down and then come, I just about melted. I love coming for my master, and knowing that it's about to happen would give me time to savor it in a way I rarely can. I've fantasized myself as Kate in that scene at least a dozen times. Slowly walking over to the bed, exposing myself to the Master before I lose control... ooooh! (Sorry for the lack of formatting; Literotica seems to remove whitespace. =|. )

Nevermind, it appears to only remove whitespace in the comment preview, but not when I actually submitted.

I like what you are doing. It keeps my mind thinking a head and trying to figure out what is coming next. You've taken the story in a different direction than what I originally thought it would go. I find myself looking forward to the next chapter.

Keep writing mate, your story is awesome. Some of your grammar and words leave something to be desired, but overall you did a solid job. Keep it up! Can barely wait for the next chapter!

I think you're going in the right direction with the story and applaud the fact that you didn't just fill in slow parts with lots of sex. I wouldn't mind seeing some more women added into the mix; as in The Master manages to raid another customer or something. Would be interesting to see how that would end up.

I have been enjoy in the story so far, sorry to see beth go but understand why she did. However I warn you against what all call then stargate paradox.

In the TV show Stargate SG1 a group of explores, finds a vastly over powered enemy and the first several season at this massive underdog battle against theses star lords. In the mid seasons with a few wins to their credit and other interstellar allies and alien tec the odds start to shift. Until you gate to the last seasons where the humans are now technologically very advanced from where they started and the giant looming enemy has been broken down.

I know I am oversimplifying 10 seasons but as the danger to the main cast went down so did the risk, the reason we tuned in.

And so I bring this full round and beg that our master never get so powerful that he becomes the organization he is fighting against.

Thanks

Other than the time we need to wait this is one of the best stories I've read lately! Keep up the good work!

While I am not an accomplished author I do, do my own writing and have my own stories. Though none are posted or published yet.

In essence a story needs to be able to grab the reader and each individual reader is different. While this is an erotic story some may read this just for the sex, while other like a character build up etc etc.

I say this because what you have here like the topic of my post says A True Story.

I find myself laughing at some points and unable to stop reading at others.

You have a few punctuation errors and spelling errors here and there but nothing some more editing wouldn't fix.

I truly am enjoying this story and eagerly await the next chapter.

Bardawulf

I've been wanting to read this chapter and it was worth the wait. Can't wait to read the next one.

Just commenting to agree with previous commenters how much I enjoy your story and look forward to each subsequent chapter. Thank you for not making us wait too long between chapters. The previous chapters developments are still recent in our memory and don't require us (the fans) to waste time going back and rereading.

Don't worry about editing.

Get an editor if you want to, but some of e joy of writing is the self-improving we go through with more and more practice. Your grammar and punctuation mistakes are few and are easily dealt with.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

I don't usually read these sorts of stories and when perusing through I came across The True Master I said what the hell and started reading it. I'm sooo glad I did. After reading the first few chapters ,I was hooked and by the seventh I have to admit I'm an addict I can't get enough. You could easily write another 100 chapters to this story you've only scratched the surface with the first 7 chapter. How you go from here intrigues me which direction will you go with this. So many questions I ask myself. The thief is he the first of many he recruits along the way to help rescue Beth and to bring down The Company. Has Beth been transformed into a Doll. Does he end up with Kate. Does he himself at the end become the true Master and become head of the company and use the technology for good not evil. BUT most obvious and glaring question I have for you is, with all the spunk being pumped into the three of them why are they not pregnant ??? You haven't covered that but let me guess , the computer chip is a contraceptive as well...only joking.. Great story so far I wish I could give you more than the 5 stars.. P.s. Please don't be like other writers and leave us poor readers waiting for the next chapter or worse they never finish what they started.......

I really like this series keep up the good work.

Interesting story line. Please, please, please get an editor. The wrong words used and the incomplete phrases are maddening.

But as another said, misspellings and use of the wrong word (plane versus plain) are very distracting.

I totally agree with the other reviewers. The in complete phrases

And incorrect words do detract and makes it unpolished

That being said, however, the story, in my view, totally makes

Up for the editorial mis-givings. I'm at the point where I don't really

Like most porn but I continue to search hoping to find stories

Like this that are interesting to read and a turn on. Please continue

With this story, I'm really curious to find out what happens to Beth.

Keep it up. Just work on the grammar.

Great story. Keep up the good work. Grammar isn't that important to me so much. Don't die and keep writing. Some people start stories and never finish them. In my mind they're dead. Please don't die. This story is too good to go unfinished.

Love the story, hate the grammar and spelling. You sound as if you might be college educated but somehow don't know the difference between quite and quiet. WTF. I weep for the American educational system.

MORE!

don't worry about the naysayers it's a great series. Just watch the word usage and spelling issues.

I've been reading your story over the past week, and really enjoy everything so far. The only feedback I can think of is that there are few grammatical errors, but that prob a Spellchecker prob. There is however a bad gateway on page 3 of this chapter(7). And thanks for the great read.

1.) Get an editor.

2.) You have too many run on sentences.

3.) Use the right form of the word (to, too, two, there, their, they're, lose, loose, losing - know the difference and when to use which word.)

4.) The punctuation is horrible.

5.) Good story line, but your grammar is awful.

6.) You could be a great writer if you get the grammar basics down - hence, get an editor.

The primary differences being I love the story and the twisted way your mind must work to come up with the story line, and I'm an editor -- so I volunteer to help.

I absolutely love the storyline, keep up the good work...

Your idea is good, interesting story. But you still could use some help with your grammar.

You definitely need help with grammar. I also suggest an editor.

Most of your mistakes would be caught using Grammarly.

Your mistakes don't ruin the story, but they are occasionally painful.