All Comments on 'Monsters in the Mountains'

#1 -- Very well written, and so long as it's quality writing, I do like a nice lengthy story.

#2 -- Towards the very end of the last page, (starting with the sentence "I thought about the personalities of both female Bigfoots."), the POV abruptly switches from 3rd person to 1st person (Jordan's POV), and stays that way for the rest of the story. Was that intentional?

#3 -- I hope you've got additional chapters in the works :)

Really enjoyed it and think it could be a great start for a series.

An excellent story that I sincerely hope will be continued.

Well written, hoping to have a sequel or more to this tale.

Nuk

Please continue

Please keep this story going, sounds like you've really got a winner here.

Sorry for the abrupt finish. I had a 3 day weekend to write this before real life called again, and it seemed like a good place to stop it and still submit it for the Halloween story contest. I'll keep writing it. Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement.

As for the change in POV, at the end, that was a typo. I was working on other stories with first person POVs, and apparently my brain can't handle the narration switching back and forth. Sorry. I think this story worked better from 3rd person POV.

Hope there will be more.

Looking forward to next installment

You say that this is a less impressive effort than if you'd had more than a three day weekend to write it. I say it is impressive regardless. This is an amazing story and I hope there will be more to come.

Hope to see another installment rapidly. Well written, kept my attention throughout.

1. really like the story

2. please continue (into the) series.

3. almost suitable for the romance category :)

I haven't come across a story this well thought out or written in a while. I hope to see more of your work. The character building and storyline we're perfectly balanced.

One of the best written stories I have come across in a while. PLEASE CONTINUE.

The rock removed from mines and piled outside is called tailings not trailings.

That is a great story and Hope that you plan on doing more with it. Very well done and thought out.

With her lack of experience with female bigfoots, how could Megan possibly estimate how far along the two bigfoots were in their pregnancies??

A well written story. Nice regular tempo. Innovative story line. I do like stories with a build up. Based on this it could go a long way. At the end I lost track what vehicles he had and where he left them at different times. He had a motorcycle. At the end he had a car. He had a bigger vehicle for the heavy material. Where did he leave them and when? It is such questions that trip up my enjoyment of a story. But that is a quibble. Please do continue.

I really enjoyed your story. Thanks

Looking forward to another chapter.

This was an incredible story! An amazing storyline. I started reading and at first i was curious so I kept reading, then I was hooked. I had to keep reading, I had to know what happened next. I hope you plan on continuing the story. Thank you.

With the genetic similarity between the bigfoots and humans. It probable they'll catch disease from humans right. I'm just over thinking the story like I always do though. Very interesting, read all the way through probably without diverting my eyes. Don't really think it needs a sequel. Its perfect the way it is unless your talented enough to keep it interesting once the novelty wears off

I really enjoyed the story. Please, please continue it.

This is what I love about the stories, here - you never know what you're going to get. This story is great, incredibly imaginative and well written. To be honest, the sexual stuff seemed really too unrealistic and not particularly hot, but if you took the overtly sexual stuff out, you could make this into a great mainstream story, with perhaps an evolvement towards an interlude between Jordan and Jane ( thinking of the one lovemaking scene in the movie "Species"). Love the mystery involving the past relatives and what happened there. Perhaps a hidden diary will be discovered? Please keep writing and adding to this story. Great fun!

Excellent story and can't wait to see your next one ( and hopefully the sequel to this story)

You even made me register so i could favorite you imagine that ^^

This is some great story telling. When will the next chapter be out? I cannot wait to read it.

It should be posted Friday morning (10/23) early. It is about 50% longer than chapter 1.

I wanted to thank all of you again for your kind words and encouragement. I've been walking around all week with a big goofy grin on my face all week, and I finally had to admit to my wife that I was writing stories. (she thought I was reading stories on my phone, not writing them.)

She's been amazingly supportive, and gave me extra time this weekend to get the next chapter written. I'm satisfied with the results, and have tried to set the story up for future chapters. The next one will probably take me longer than a week to write, though. I've got some other stories started that I'd like to submit before I keep going on this one.

Cannot wait to read more. Extremely well written...entertaining...engaging...addictive!

This was so well done! I would ask that you keep this your story and ignore suggestions from us. You're doing great and the last thing I would want is to feel like this should belong to a fetish category.

However, one minor nit to pick:

"Jordan estimated that he had hiked over three miles that day. His legs were aching and he was exhausted."

Three miles and he's spent? What kinda pansy is this guy? Make it 13 miles.

This is one of the few stories on here that I would by the book of, please keep up with the writing on this one its amazing 5/5 stars.

Well I would like it if it wasn't beastiality

I'm just assuming many of you who like this are big fans of finding Bigfoot

popped,into my mind, 'What sort of monsters COULD be in the mountains which would also be appropriate for the Lit audience?' (in other words, effable monsters). I pondered it shortly, but never dreamed of BF. Boy, what a surprise.

But then, that is what makes Lit such a joy. I am continually surprised and amazed by the variety of boffable entities you horny Lit authors dream up. I am, also, continually delighted at the talent of the authors, as well. It's been well over six months since I have read anything BUT Lit authors, and the only reason I read those is because the main character is a dog who is partners in a detective agency, (well, in HIS mind, at least), but I digress.

Bob, this is only the first chapter of yours I have read, (and I guess your writing COULD suddenly go in the crapper, though I doubt it), but I AM impressed. Your character development is solid, your writing mechanics are sound, and other than a couple of places where I had to stop and say, 'Wha?', you have written a very respectable story, you SHOULD be walking around with a big SEG, you earned it.

Thank you for sharing your fertile imagination and, especially, thank you for all the hard work it takes to produce such a solid submission. I can't wait to read the rest, (which I'm going to do RIGHT now!)

Kudos,

GeoD

We want more! Where's chapter 3?

I would love to impregnate the females

Really, getting kidnapped by them, and being forced to be their breeder

Keep up the good work!

I have read the story 4 times and am still waiting for the next installment, please don't keep us in suspense any longer.

You know what ,today Hollywood has made witches and vampire sexy. Also blue skinned alient girls and girls with three boobs are considered hot now. For the love of the gods, if they see this beautifully written story they will make bigfoot sexy and our kids will be fappinging at muscled bigfoots :-)

this is a real innovative story. superb writing and storytelling, a little lacking in respect of sexual realism, but still on the possible side.

a real page turner

What only irked me was the change in POV at the last section.

The point of view change was my only hiccup but I guess with a story as detailed as this one can forgive that. Great job though I thoroughly enjoyed it.

It's different. Definitely interesting. Hoping to enjoy the next chapters. Hopefully following chapters are better edited. This one went back and forth between third person and first in the last quarter. Sticking to a single pov will make it more enjoyable to read.

Big feet, big hands, big klutz ! Heared this while sitting with a table full of girls, turning dance partners away. Truth, I was smirkin. I ve never been in that position before or since.

So Jordans got a girl and I want to make her mine". I mean Morgan ya all ! I don't suppose Morgan will allow a lady schick ?

Interesting concept - far fetched but interesting - well done

Just found the story a few days ago and put it in my reading list. Good job. I caught a minor spelling error, though... it's loner not loaner. ;) Still gave you five stars, though. I'm no grammar nazi, and the story is VERY readable and fun.

Sci-fi, fantasy, other/worldly and strange all combined to make a great story. you nailed it.

I read all 4 chapters. Like any great story it left me wishing for more, but it also ended at a sensible ending place. I am in love with this little group and very hopeful for their future. I know some of the places I would go wth this if I were working on a follow up, but it would be difficult to end it again so I can see why there isn't more.

Exceptional story but left hanging. Too bad.

Simply amazing. Needless to say, I have fallen in love with Jordan and would join his harem. Thank you for this.

I originally came for alot of sexualness and now I need way more. This needs to be a full book! I could read for Hours!

I'm hooked, going to the next chapter now. Please..... More

More More more!

10mm is needed to kill big animals

Wow, I forgot how mad the perspective changes AGAIN, you’d think by like the fifth time I would remember it goes from third to first to a fusion perspective.

Refreshingly different and creative with enough realism to make me slightly uncomfortable. I feel parts of the story could be expanded on in fun ways especially the integration of the female researchers. Enjoying reading so far!

There are a number of editing issues but they could be easily fixed.

Ok, The story itself is great. Long enough to see that there was fair amount of effort out in to it.

Some things how ever make it feel a little bit "rushed". All the females, seem to be quite accepting of Jordan.

My largest gripe is the sex scenes. Sure, We are talking about mythical creatures, so in that way it's perfectly reasonable to expect that they might come just from penertative sex, and faster than human man. without foreplay and not doing much else.

But in the end it happens with Megan too? That is a thing you could improve.

lmao at the jewish doctor being in a government conspiracy and immediately threatening to ruin the main character's life, that shit was way too real.

I hope the organisation mean no harm to the bigfoot family.. I truly hope that helicopter delivery is quite suspicious

Youre a very good writter

Phenomenally written, with talent and creativity. The anthropological and sexual nature of the story were intriguing. Looking forward to the next chapter. 5 stars