All Comments on 'Birthday Girl Ch. 04'

I commented on the first chapter assuming you were a car guy, which is now painfully evident. Kids named aventador? Melissa referencing Sebastian loeb? Love it. Also, the constant jabs at one another from the characters and the protagonists jokes about himself keep me laughing. I can Identify with a lot of points in this one too, like feeling jealousy when ex's are mentioned, trying to be too much of a gentleman, being so nervous that English suddenly leaves my brain. Please continue, absolutely fantastic work

I agree with the Anon. Excellent story. Love the characters and setting. The repartee is quite well done. Can't wait for more.

This is so good. Awkward geek courting is always cute (speaking as can awkward geek museum), but this is exemplary. Well done, and I'm eager for the next installments.

-- Rusty

Once again you have blessed the throng with another great chapter!

Keep those mental marbles agitated, give your muse another shot of Tequila, and get your fingers flying on the keyboard.

You have a growing fan base that is impatiently waiting for the next chapter.

Your attention to detail about the feelings of the characters, and the description of all the surroundings is remarkable.

This is funny, stimulating, and getting downright anticipating a sexy incident.

Looking forward to more. Keep up the great writing.

Nope - no way he got to be 27 without kissing a girl. Not believable, even if it's true.

Great story so far and love the sense of humour!

Good one mate!

PS: I think you are going to get it from Jenna and especially Brian for not calling him.

Loving this story, loving Melissa. Makes a refreshing change from all the airhead protagonists that so frequently feature. I'm simultaneously really looking forward to the next instalment and dreading it (on grounds I've mentally written in a bestie as Lissy and perving on her doing the deed would be an utter breach of trust but you wouldn't have posted on lit if this wasn't going to get steamy).

OK, Ready for more chapters.

Really enjoyed the twists you wrote in. Keeps us hooked. 5 well deserved stars.

Hello just wanted to point out hat a radiologist is a doctor in that they have their MD or DO.so unless Melissa is a tech she is in fact a doctor.

I want to let you know that I agree with everyone else ... great story and the dialogue is just what I think it should be. Also, very funny. You definitely have a knack - keep up the good work.

The first three chapters his name is Brian.

When he introduces himself to Melissa's sister he says his name is Ryan.

When they arrived at her apartment, after the accident, and Kelly asked about what happened, he could have said:

"I tried to feel her tits and she beat me up"

Of course, that was fooling around ;-)