All Comments on 'Fairweather Ranch Ch. 01'

I hope you do another part soon, I would to read how this devolops

that was kind of fast. walk in have dinner the fuck I wish I could find that.

No candy, no flowers? Just dinner & a howdy, then let's do the nasty? Wow. Guess life was different back in the old days.

Look, I don't want to be mean to you but I'm going to be honest. Your story is horribly wtitten. The sentence structure is appalling, I've read better composition from middle school children. Your dialogue is badly constructed. People don't talk like you have your charactets speaking. There's no flow to your story & no character development. It jumps from one thing to another with nothing to tie paragraphs or ideas together. It's carelessly constructed & frankly, it's a shameful example of how not to write a story.

You obviously have the desire to tell stories but you need to do some serious study if you hope to put something together that'll put you in 4 or 5 star range.

Read some of Colleen Thomas, FeatherWatt, - Ripley-, LesbianChickLit, FiveWolves. Study how these exceptional writers tell their stories. And then practice, practice, practice.

Your story is so poorly written that it's embarrassing to read. All I kept thinking is how deplorable our educational system must be to consider this type of composition to be an adequate piece of prose.

I'm not going to rate you. It wouldn't be fair. If you were my student I'd fail you for turning in something as juvenile as this.

thought kum didn't want to be mean.

I think a polite way of phrasing it is "uncertain of direction". By which I mean it started off a little hesitantly, nervously went through the premise for them being together, then abruptly realised it was supposed to be sex story and jumped to jumping in to bed. I think that uncertainty is the cause of the symptoms like awkward phrasing and problematic flow.

The characters might have some chemistry but the lack of build up didn't give us chance to see it, they might be awesome in the sack but the sex scene was over almost as soon as it started. Commit and expound, large word counts are your friend in the long run.

Well, I certainly know how to treat a "Lady," even if I disagree or disapprove of her actions or in this case, her work (having a little jest with your name to lighten yet another less than favorable comment.) I am in agreement with Heisenhug. The story lacked direction which ultimately affected the flow and contributed to the "jumpiness" of the story. Take your time. Develop your characters and their relationships. Anticipation is a wonderful thing. It keeps reader WANTING to read part 2, 3, ... Don't feel pressure to include sex. Good luck

That was confusing and poorly written. No need to move on to other chapters.

Hallo LadyDaisy!

I am amazed by the negatives comments,,, and by people that haven't written one story, but still feel entitled to criticize someone else's writing.... Amazing!

Thank-you, I am looking forword to reading the other chapters.

Gay Kat.

I really love the story so far. I will be reading all the chapters for sure.

Young, dumb, and full of cum but in girl form. The story climaxed too quick - no pun intended.