All Comments on 'Changes Ch. 01'

give us some more......

well you were right this is a slow start, but a good start anyway, hope to read more soon

I'm very interested to see where this will go. Good start.

The word "cabin" which is repeated many times is very distracting - does it mean mean an "office" and she is glad she has had an "office" since she started working for the company? A cabin is a small building in a forest or the inside of an airplane. OTHO the story is good, although a bit stilted. Relax a bit and let it flow. Keep writing.

Can't wait for the rest. Please don't let this be your only story either; you are a very good writer. I have enjoyed this story a lot.

Very good descriptions and details. More please!!

I'm liking it Akshi. You're taking the time to build up the characters and the dynamics of this platonic (for now) relationship. I am however curious about the picture on Vanessa's desk. I'm sure you will get into that down the line. Akshi, thank you for giving me something to look forward to reading. I would be remiss if I didn't tell you, the paragraph before the last sentence, there was the misuse of two words: "she liked her cum of her fingers..." was probably meant to be read as, "she licked her cum off her fingers..." Other than that, no glaring "interrupt your reading" mistakes. Good job

Akshi, this is a wonderful first start to what looks to be a substantial story. I'm looking forward to reading the subsequent chapters. Oh, & please excuse that idiot anonymous who took you to task, complaining about your use of the word "cabin". He's obviously one of those semi literate dolts who belives the USA is the "real" world & the rest of us only live on the planet because of the good graces of twits like him. Embarasses me to live in the same US as he does. There's an old classic from the 1960s I think, called The Ugly American aboyt rude & presumpuous American xenophobia. Oy, it's still alive! Yep, 2016 & we've got Trumpites reading Literotica. What a freaking shame.

Other than a small error at the end, this was an excellent first submission. I'm looking forward to more from you. 4 stars. And one more because you deserve much higher ratings than some of the other crap that's been posted the last week or two. Keep on writing - you're talented & spin a goid yarn.

Taylor

In the UK & most of the rest of the English speaking world excepting the US of A, a cabin isn't just something on an aeroplane or a boat. It's something like an "office" which makes little sense unless you live in the US & believe it to be the sun that the rest of the world revolves around.

I hate commenters who presume they're knowledgeable enough to insult a writer who is of a different culture.

Great story. More please!

Thank you for taking the time to leave me feedback! I appreciate every bit if it.

I understand how the word 'cabin' can annoy some people. I did receive a couple of emails regarding this as well. I've grown up referring to a private office space as a cabin and was honestly surprised that I didn't find too many references to it on online dictionaries either. It's good to know that it is widely used in the UK too! For now I'm going with the less irksome "office" in my next chapters.

Also, thank you for pointing out the mistake toward the end. I'll try and be more diligent in proof reading. Although, once I'm done writing I'm just so eager to submit the story, I'm afraid I've been lax with the second chapter too.

As for the ratings, I'm guessing they're low due to the lack of 'juicy bits' and I get that. This is going to be the case for the next few chapters.

Thanks again for your kind words. I've submitted the second chapter and it should be up soon!

I, too, am from the USA and will have to admit the "cabin" threw me for a bit. I realized after I kept reading that you meant for what we call an office; that's okay, you are comfortable with the terminology of your local which is cabin and we, your readers need to learn to adapt. Your story is excellent except for the end which was already pointed out. I can't wait to read the subsequent chapters.

Good first submittal. You're trying too hard and it makes the narrative a little stiff, but the flow is good, and the characterization will come with time. Keep at it!

Don't change cabin. I like the international flavor of it. Love the slow pace. I see the authors you like also go at a more national pace. Don't change a thing. This is my second time through the current 4 parts. You picked my favorite story as well. You're learning from the best here with your favorite authors list. Very well done. Love it, please keep this style. There us enough "rubbish" lol, here. DO from the USA.

I am enjoying the story, but why has 'interaction' replaced conversation etc? It is like 'going forward' rather than 'in the future'. I don't know anyone who interacts, we talk, argue, discuss etc. There are so many beautiful words in the English language why choose the same one?

Akshi is the author of this wonderful story and she can use whatever words she chooses.

Even given your warning of slow story development, I found the tale a cumbersome, lackluster read. I urge you to lose your verbose tendencies, substituting descriptors that pair "writing colors" for them. Remember, your task is to pen a "lust inspiring tale", Not To Justify Its Structure And Content (written like a true ass-wipe, huh?).

A promising beginning. If nothing else, Jaya just made it onto my to-read list.

It took me a few sentences to figure out cabin =offices, but it's ok, i like learning new meaning to words in my vocab

Running after some successful icon is common ground, don't forget yourself your soul on the way ...... Day dreaming girl sounds familiar and is some reallly cute in a girl, vulnerable sensible ..... And now autotech just needs to sign the contract and heather is in the bosses good books

💝💝💝💝💝🌹🌟

It’s interesting seeing comments about the story content re her body image and the grammar or word choices, people see things in different ways I suppose. The way I read it was that this was a girl who has fenced off parts of her life and is working hard at her job and on herself, but is ultimately in a holding pattern, but hasn’t realised it. She believes she’s happy, but hasn’t found there’s more to life than work, the gym and her bed as yet.