All Comments on 'Too Big'

Fiction always includes some ‘bending of reality’ to pose the question: What could happen if such-and-such fact(s) of reality were different?

What if a prefect boy met a perfect girl, they had perfect sex, fell in perfect love, got perfectly married, spawned four perfect children, and lived perfectly ever after? (Romance)

What if a wet-behind-the-ears young orphan, courageous beyond his years, joined the battle for the universe against all evil, and won the war for ‘queen/princess & country?’ (Sci-fi, Star Wars)

What if a man with a white hat on a white horse came to town, did battle with entrenched local thug(s), displayed uncanny gun speed and marksmanship, and saved the whole town from perpetual evil? (Western)

‘What-ifs’ are what fiction is all about. They free the reader’s imagination for a brief moment, providing it wings to fly beyond reality and the opportunity to enjoy doing so. Realize always that fiction is not, and is never intended to be, a How-to Manual

I really enjoyed this. Thank you!

For the read.

...BUT I found it a little strange that you seemed to treat Chinese and Japanese as being interchangeable - not to mention a little jarring when you used the term "Oriental" to refer to people, rather than "Asian." Still a great story, but I think it would have worked better if either 1) you did a little more research on the culture you were writing about, or 2) just made them part of some fictional culture with the marriage traditions you describe. Also, the title "Too Big" seems almost irrelevant after the first couple of chapters, so you may want to think about changing that. I know what I've said has mostly been criticism, but on the whole, I still really enjoyed the story. There are just a few things that could be changed to make it that much better.

1) It has absolutely nothing to do with sex with someone who is "too big"; your character is such a dish rag he just does "it" with anyone who comes along, regardless of whether his needs are met.

2) Can we please get rid of the notion that you can have penile penetration into the cervix? For most women, hitting the cervix at all can be seriously painfull and actually cause brusing. You can bruise the pelvic wall as well. Others find it stimulates a different type of orgasam or mild bruising doesn't bother them or they enjoy "a reminder.". But at no times does a penis actually enter the cervix.

2.1) Stop with the "cowgirl" position if someone is too large! Sure, theoretically a woman has more control, but it is a position that creates deeper penetration. Ideally in sex you let yourself "go" when achieving orgasam. If that really happens, loosing control when you have a too large penis in a too small vagina (yes, they come in different sizes, and they can also stretch and elongate when aroused) add gravity = ouch.

2.2) If you can fist someone, you can fuck them. Also, with time and lots of lube anything can be done anally. (No comment on the participating partners enjoyment.) Not sure that google will let you look up "high water mark", but to celebrate this achievement, men used to get lines marking them tattooed as bragging rights, generally on the upper arm towards the shoulder.

3) I have no problem with the term "Oriental" that someone else commented on. It was an easy way to describe myself and held a bit of mystique. I am a little sad that I can't use it anymore, even to describe myself. But, really, can you try for some consistency?

4) Only my Chinese great-grandparents told my father as a small boy to stay away from Japanese because of the war. By the time he got older, it became "marry a nice Chinese girl", then "marry a nice Asian (they probably actually used "Oriental") girl. Eventually it became "just marry a nice girl", to finally "just marry." So your use of Chinese/Japanese relations is off by a couple generations. (As an aside, those great-grandparents never spoke a word of English to my blonde mother. Just saying.) Also to have Japanese servants would have been a serious affront if those predjudices lingered.

5) So again your cultural understanding is so whacked out. So even with some suspension of disbelief (I can go with some odd sibling stuff) the whole concubinage sucks too. If you're going to go for it at least get some small things right, like there would be a serious hierarchy/pecking order. Wife #1 rules the household, and Heaven help you if favoritism is shown elsewhere. Also, if they (suspension of disbelief) have a dowry & will be paid for offspring, boys are greatly favored, with girls being worth substaincially less or no money at all.

6) So I'm going back to suspension of disbelief land. Really, the moneyed families that favor old hierarchies tend to be involved in organized crime at an extreme (very high up) level. What am I basing this conclusion on? My father worked undercover as the Chinese tongs emerged following the repeal of the Chinese Exclusion Act. If you want to take it to an intimate family relationship/dynamic, my fiancée once dated the daughter of a high-ranking Yakuza, and later a girl whose mother was high Chinese syndicate. What the girl tried to hide were her own tattoos, which also showed her own very high rank,, but more importantly, what acts she had to have done to earn them & didn't expect him to know what they exactly what they were and what each one meant. This sounds like bullshit but is all absolutely true.

7) I've written a fucking essay at this point, but this story caught me in a mood where this deserves a rant. Get an editor who doesn't just correct your grammar but who will also tell you when the b.s. meter gets too high. Also there's a degree of I haven't been writing much lately and...

8) I didn't vote on your story, so no low stars from me. Don't think that's fair.

Gene... I read all kinds of stories, porn, science fiction and histories. This one was not one of the grewat dramas of our time. but it was one of the sweetest tales of a simple guy who hard a hard time finding the right woman who could help him get it all in. He did and then some. All of the side issues about China, the Chinese and the Japanese and the shipping industry was good back ground. But the joy and happiness of this guy, the girls and their father made for a fun tale for me. Yes, my lady is Chinese. I’m black but so many little cultural nuances you touched on ran true to my experience. The love they offered him. I know this supposed to be porn but it was a sweet tale to me. Thanks for the writing.

I truly enjoyed this fun light hearted read. As to any flaws in realism, please, this is fun fiction and fantasy. Just enjoy the playful fantasy. Not perfect but another of fun!

Dam clever, them Chinese.