All Comments on 'Into the Goodnight Ch. 04'

Good story, good morals, good lessons.

I liked your story, but it would be nice to see the resolution between Aurelia and her family and the widows. After threatening to kill her, the relationship with her parents would be interesting and not necessary very forgiving?

I hadn't read the tale this is based on, so this was new to me. I really enjoyed it, although there were quite a few times that I cringed at the things that Aurelia did and cringed because of the things done to her, that she endured. I think that was the point, though, and it was the writing that brought that about.

Like some of the other commenters, I too want a chapter 5, but I'm not sure what it would be about. Reconciliation with her parents and brother might be a bit of a letdown after the previous story lines. Then again, I'm not a writer, and there are probably lots of lessons to be learned or reunions with relatives.

When she was working in the kitchens, I started thinking that someone, somewhere in that castle or town might not be so kind toward the princess because she used to scrub away food stains and floors. Surely, some jealous people would use these events against her. I can also see how some of the other nobles around them would ridicule her for her apparent fall from grace. So, there could be more conflict and lessons to learn as she navigates through the noble ranks but this time with her new perspective and knowledge. And of course, it'll be baby time!

Thanks Titania123! (Do you think you might finish the story about the sexy assassin, a dark spider-filled hole and the girl who asked too many questions? I'd love to see more of "A Simple Persuasion."

I read 1 and 2. Wasn't sure I'd read more, even though I knew the tale it is based upon. Honestly, I wasn't sure of how you would rework it. I skipped to the last page of this chapter to see. (Yes, I often read endings. It takes nothing away from a good story and saves me the anguish of ones that hurt my head or heart.)

I will go back and read it all, and I will do so because you made it clear that:

1. She was not willfully spoiled but the result of unintended, but insufferable circumstances. So, not a true bitch.

2. He has both care and regard for her. He was, and is, not seeking a broken mindless figurehead.

3. It is not a story of escalating and never-ending ugliness towards the heroine.

I apologize for doubting your romance and fairytale tags, but HEA doesn't happen around here very often, unfortunately. :-/

...Endings are often the hardest situation for a writer; choosing where to end a spun story when the characters seem to live on. This is a good place to do it (though I confess, as most readers, I do wish I could have read about the meetings with her father and brother in her personality change).

In general, well written. You have a few moments in the lemons which gets.... long to read. And not in the "its supposed to be" way. Try breaking up some of your sentences into smaller parts. It may help with the general flow.

First of all I must point out that the process of adapting an existing tale/framework is tricky and can lead to many pitfalls, such as; plot holes in the original piece, straying too much, not making your own mark, etc. As such I will commend the author on their ability in those regards.

The problem I have is that the original story is really mean spirited. It repeatedly heaps blame on the "vain" princess but leaves the scheme-ing king blameless. The line that caught me the most was "... that you believe all my actions were of evil intent?" and I spent a moment wondering why it caught me so, The reason it struck me in the end was that only earlier in the scene had he admitted to orchestrating the entire situation, causing her months of misery so that she could be "worthy" of him.

Him admitting that he intentionally snubbed and insulted her at her ball (seriously wars have been started with wayyyy less) to cause this all to happen, had destroyed her relationship with her parents (father in particular - you think you can go back to loving someone who publicly threatend to execute you), had forcefully cut her har, had forced her to work somewhere he knew would make her miserable (and likely had been spending most of his day in the life of luxury from the sound of it), had through all this destroyed any respect the nobility would have for her (and likely the peasants too), had caused all the tears and suffering whilst constantly lieing to her about their "relationship built on trust". After all that he still thought "testing" her commitment to him was valid, that he had nothing that he needed to correct. That he went about with all this elaborate and painful schemeing to make her "worthy" of him rather than having the balls to just talk to her in the first place and nurture her.

Goodnight is scum.

No amount of her accepting that she is bad changes that. It just makes her seem even more the victim of abuse.

The tent scene however was very nice, steamy and managed to but some fun BDSM play into the story. We also saw before it our protagonist break out her awesome negotiating skills. The whole scene was imaginative and extremely well written.

As some others have mentioned with so many plates still spinning it does feel somewhat unfinished. Though at this point of all the misery our protagonist has been through I think accepting a happy ending may be just as valid.

3.5/5 stars (the system doesn't do halves so I round up) - Good writing but the original narrative it's based on is far from good and only detracts from the authors skillful scenes.

Yep, I still HATE that old Thrushbeard. Even in the old story, nothing was explained on how a thouroughly humbled Princess could live HEA after the humiliating dinner scene where she was laughed at by the entire court. She was told not to fear as her emissaries in the market place were all played out by the Kind Thrushbeard, or her Husband in disguise to teach her a lesson. So only when she admitted that she is lesser than him and her own vanity could she now be worthy of him... how could they rule the kingdom as equals? True, queens could always be replaced but kings....

What about winning of her hand? Her hand that is now roughen by the peasant work that she has to endure.. Is not the most beautiful woman alive worthy of wooing and placed on pedestal? I always think you can't really beat pride out of a person unless he or she gets broken in spirit.

Though I do appreciate that this is BDSM in Literotica, and the premise of the story has provided much opportunities for the skillfully written erotic scenes ( praises to Titania123!! ) I am not impressed by the huge TOOL Maks is.. Not the classically written Thrushbeard, and certainly not this holier- than - thou asshole who had setup such a fucking elaborate trap so that he could have the ideal woman beaten out of a spoilt princess.. Fuck him and Fuck the spineless king Father..! Broken in pony is right!

I had been hoping she'd storm off after hearing about how much he had lied to her and how much she had to go through just to be 'worthy' of him and he'll realize he wasn't faultless in the whole situation and feel guilty about it to the point of trying to redeem himself again in her eyes but as a king.

I do desire a happy ending for the two but I wish it wasn't so easily resolved just like that. Yes, she loves him but I reckon that would have made it even more painful. For her to get angry and to accept him all in one night after he had left her to fend for herself for days just seems too quick. It wasn't a mere white lie. It was a whole life-altering charade of deception.

It is not a matter of pride for one to take offense to such deceit, but that of human nature. His insistence that all of it was for her sake implied that he believed he had done nothing wrong whatsoever and that just didn't sit right with me. The least he could've done was be apologetic about it.

Instead he had that one last test for her. Also, the idea that he had set all that up with her father somehow made it seem worse and more tragic for her. I would have preferred for him to have acted out the ruse on a whim on his own without involving others and not as a calculated move to bend her to his will and standards.

And as others have suggested, I would've liked the story to be longer as it was an such an enjoyable read despite what I considered to be flaws in this chapter.

I do wish she had left him and gone back to their cottage, making him beg for her and earn her trust. He did betray her after all. But alas, not my story.

I was mostly happy with the conclusion and look forward to whatever you come up with next.

Thank you for giving us the enjoyment of another of your terrific and entertaining stories. Now, about writing a proper ending to A Simple Persuasion?

I am also disappointed with how this story goes. She endured no end of suffering for what? Being a product of her upbringing? I agree with the other commenter, Maks and her father are both tools and she deserved better. You're an excellent writer and you told a beautiful story, I just wish you hadn't made her a meek pawn in the hands of arrogant men. There are enough of those stories out there.

Even though like others, I wish Maks worked harder to win Aurelia over after the big reveal. I'm glad you didn't humiliate her like in the original story.

This reminded me of a story I read here years ago, it was an updated version of Rebecca. Anyone remember that story's name?

He did not have to bring her so low that she felt she had to serve her old monarch and be made fun of by him. And then, he tested her again. Also, did lie to her. He said he had to work on the wall and had no money to feed her. Those were all lies. I loved the story, but yes, he should have made at least the hair cutting and some other things up to her.

You are a very good writer and I really enjoyed the story! The ending left me feeling a little bit incomplete.

I would like to see her reunited with her family and see her performing as an equal partner with her King! It would be interesting to see her meet with the friends she was made while she was living in the village (How gracious, caring, and helpful she could be to them

Also, some general unanswered questions in the story, as to how the population that she was exposed to never recognized the king when he was living with her as a pauper.

Thanks again for a great store

TD

This is disappointing, frankly I was hoping she would leave him. This is gaslighting at its finest - I didn't like you, but you were hot so I'm going to make you feel like shit, make you doubt yourself, manipulate you constantly, lie to you constantly, humiliate you and then when you find out about the lies and manipulation I'm going to tell you it was for your own good and because you have nothing and nobody else and I've ground you down while simultaneously giving you scraps of affection you accept it. Bullshit. Her father and Maks both can go to hell and honestly the last sex scene I had to skip because I was so creeped out. You are a brilliant writer and story teller, and honestly some of the BDSM sex was hot but the rest of it was pretty disappointing - I wish you would tell stories without horrible, sad endings and abused women and all the sexism.

Love your story, very hot and not predictably dramatic, I had had enough of kidnappings and drama. Love the happy ending that was earned through self discovery. Well done.

He lied and then he lied more.

It is sad that she cannot see what a manipulative ass he is, but she was raised to be a weakling. This is a story of abuse and Maks did not do near enough to redeem himself, she simply had no options.

Maybe another chapter to prove she is a respected wife and queen, because I know I'm not convinced that he has her interests at heart and I want to know more about her friends; were they just plants and spies (more lies) or did he really put her in danger like that (proving that he does not really care).

I understand what his intentions were but the way this ending was handled it was more about turning her into his submissive and not his equal. How would she recover her royal status after living & serving as the lowest of the low in the town and his castle? There needed to be more thought put into the reconciliation of his deception and her acceptance. Forgiveness given so easily would not be character building for her but rather further degradation.

{I lied to you, alienated you from your family, treated you like crap, forced you to live in abject poverty (while I spent my days at my castle), put you in a servitile position in the household I now expect you to run, and propositioned you in a lewd manner all to turn you the perfect Queen for me BUT you must see how I did it all for you really and forgive me immediately so we can hop in bed right away. Oh & don’t worry, I think you are smart and want you to rule with me as partners.}

Nope. She capitulated too easily and, sadly, it left the ending feeling empty.

I recognized the fairytale immediately and greatly enjoyed your retelling. It was warm and loving, and our heroine learns to not just love another, but to value herself as a person! Very well written and a delight to read. Thank you for sharing this story!

This final chapter was heartbreaking, at times it was downright cruel. When it was revealed that she was to work at the castle the reveal was obvious, well tbh the reveal was obvious at chapter 1. That’s the nature of fairy tales though, hard morality tales, even now there are probably a lot of people who are unaware of the original stories that only of a superficial resemblance to the works that have been neutered and regurgitated by Disney.

I read a comment where someone complained that she was forced to submit to the whims of her father and husband and that she was essentially a chattel, to me that’s correct way of writing this because it’s a fictional morality tale of setin the Middle Ages. Women were chattels with virtually no rights or power, often this was applied amongst the nobility too. For him to declare that he wants them to rule together as equals is pretty damned progressive and amazing. So well done you for keeping it all ‘in character’ giving it a good modicum of 4realism.

I do agree with another commenter that the ending itself felt rushed and her forgiveness too quick. All that trust on her part repaid by his deception, I think after a good long talk with lots of hugs a more effective resolution would have been for him to submit to her there and then. Naturally it would have included everything else he said to her. All said it’s a minor tweak, and hand on heart it’s been an outstanding and riveting read.

The confrontation was good on her part and her pertinent questions to him but her forgiving him was abrupt and hastened. Especially the food scrapes was downright cruel humiliation, with no lessons in them to be learnt nor tests to be accomplished.

Besides, the skewed information ratio in the marriage where he always coerces her to trust him but does the exact opposite while not being a bridge for her change of heart for Goodnight leaves a gaping hole in the trust he wants from her. Where he knew everything about her but she didn't know anything about him except his money making questions in the day, accusing her beauty and night sex despite which she came to create an image of a man Maks in her heart that she brought herself to love who didn't exist. I mean pauper man at home and a King with duties at Palace and very different situations evoke different personalities altogether. Princess in her Palace was different from pauper Princess, situations make a man. So she doesn't know who Goodnight is. Hell, we don't know really co-workers at work and how they might be at homes or even in parties.

Princess never resented her beauty or her tutor of being pretty to be worthy. This last page states she wanted to be known for more than her beauty is a stark digression from where it was.

Good story, very well written, though her training went much beyond what she deserved. Her only crime was she just aimed to be beautiful and declined such proposals. Her father was let off pretty easy and his years of upbringing had to be rectified by her husband, lol.

I absolutely loved this story. Erotic and well written. My only criticism being such a quick end. I too think there was a lot left on the cutting room but can't wrap my head around the sharp comments that vilified Maks or panned the entire story. It was as if we were reading different words. I wish I'd had someone care or be capable enough to step up and give me some tough love growing up. Sometimes left to our own devices we can create some pretty destructive coping mechanisms. It took me decades of struggle and failure to find my way. I think the biggest reason I choose to be a submissive today is that I see love and care in discipline. Don't get me wrong...there are plenty of abusive asshats in bdsm just like any other community but the tight knit bonds in mine help keep them to minimum. I don't think Maks was evil or misguided. No. He remembered the sweet girl Auriela once was and worked with her family to help find her again, as much for her benefit as his own.

I want to preface this by saying that it takes a really great author to have readers feel such strong emotions when reading a story. I read the entire series when it first came out and at first, I loved it, but I hated this chapter. Still, I kept coming back to reread the story even after almost four years. So great job in writing such a captivating story.

However, like many other readers, I wish it ended differently. Maks is such a manipulative asshole that I'm always brought to tears when Aurelia forgives him. When confronted by him at first, she says "we may not have the riches that are here in your court or that I grew up with, but at least he is what he claims." Now, this is a well and fine statement. Except Maks is absolutely not what he claims. Throughout their entire relationship, the spineless prick builds her trust in a ghost. While she slaves away, bonding over the fact that her husband is helping in construction, in reality, he is spending his days in luxury in the castle. In Aurelia's own words, he is a "devious, lecherous, pickle-minded malignancy!"