by Yossarian67
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I really hope you liked it.
This is my first sequel. If you've read chapter one then you know that this is a departure from the first one. In my opinion the first chapter is the better piece of erotica, and the second is the better work of fiction.
It's not my opinion that matters though.
There are a couple of typos and repeated phrases, which I've submitted corrections for. The edits should be up in the next couple of days, once Literotica approves them. If you're reading this before the edited version goes live, I'm sorry. Thank you for bearing with me through the typos.
As always I'd appreciate any feedback you'd like to give.
Thank you,
Yossarian67
First time doing sequels and already doing it this good - DAMN! Not only did you upgrade the story from ch.1 but added a whole new layer of awesomeness with character development, real story progression where feelings go all over the place, sex that had meaning beyond getting their rocks off, drama that serves for a great plot device, and most of a lot to look forward in the future for those two.
I must as you to continue this story, there is so much potential left for a great saga about their love, their fight for said love, the inevitable drama that will come of it and we want to see how they attain their happy end. The last paragraph makes me salivate at the prospect of more so please at least consider it.
5*+++++
I liked both of these chapters. A lot of build up of these lovers. It seemed at the end you were leading up to this maybe coming to an end. Could do a lot more with this story line. Experimenting with sex and different positions. Meeting more often and maybe getting caught again by her mother. Just a suggestion, still loved the story.
A fantastic blend of incest and romantic. I hope you continue the series. I am sure there will be conflicts and pain between families. I hope the story has a happy ending.
The second chapter is better than the first, although I really liked the description of the game!! The second chapter had more depth of character development. Although I would not describe the first chapter as "sexual Twister" and I tend to not like that kind of erotica. I keep trying to figure out the position and the emotions, feelings and perceptions of the participants gets lost. This is what sex is all about, I think the second chapter is better for this reason.
Please continue the series. There is good potential here for their continued story.
I'm a guy, but I know he raped you. Young men and women should know that this is fiction, not acceptable behavior in the real world.
First of all, it wasn't rape. He asked her if she wanted to stop the game before he penetrated her, and she said that she wanted to keep going.
Second of all, what the fuck does "l'm a guy, but I know he raped you" mean? You really wanna go there?
I felt it was rape, too. She did not consent to have sex. No means no, but only Yes means yes. He violated her and I don't think taking her to a nice hotel could ever make up for that. That doesn't make this a bad story, though. I really liked it.
A Really good read! I liked the change of perspective, let us know what she was feeling. Great story !
excellent, im so glad you continued...I really enjoyed it!
which is why you got five stars,,,,four for the first chapter and I shall go back and comment there too.
I know it's not likely, given how long ago this was written, but I really hope the story continues.
Yes, I like it too. I've read it a few times over the years - it has a certain sweetness.