All Comments on 'Night Owl Sister'

But for me it was simply too long winded. Too much information took the excitement out of reading the story. Others may well like it, but for me, you need to get to the point a bit more directly.

well done I loved it.

I can't wait to read the story again and again.. What a beautiful fantasy

Enjoyed the detail...the length was perfect teasing the imagination...allowing the reader to indulge!

I found it to be wonderfully written

... in reality you made many grammatical and spelling errors.

It is absolutely plain that you didn't bother to do ANY proof-reading because some errors were so obvious that you couldn't possibly have missed them.

Story - 8/10

Writing - 5/10

Good story. Excellent teasing. But it seems a bit strange that one twin (her) could be so sexually experienced and the other (him) so completely naive.

I think your command of the English language is good - your talent for knitting a great story even better ! Please write more. Nice job. Never mind the criticism. Very sensual story

Yes, a very arousing and well-written story ! One of the best I have ever read about brother and sister. I sure hope you write another chapter, where after school before their parents get home and when the parents are gone away; they have sex every possible way !

The dialogue should continue with a new twist of participation too. Thank you.

Very good story . Gave it a 5 . Hope you do more .

Great story! It was so good I can't wait to read it again.

well done - good pace for the first three pages - page 4 seemed a bit rushed.

I think I ate the pillow....

Saw that English isn't your first language, so let me help you out. A night owl is someone who usually is up all night. So your title and the content of your story get really thrown off because of this misunderstanding

'A night owl, is a person who tends to stay up until late at night. The opposite of a night owl is an early bird, a lark as opposed to owl, someone who tends to begin sleeping at a time that is considered early and also wakes early.'

"Night owl" is very commonly used to describe anyone who often stays up later than usual; no precise meaning.

Your English is better than 99.9 % of people born in America. Whoever taught you English composition is an outstanding teacher. It was a pleasure to read something with zero grammatical errors, and only a couple of minor typos. FYI, I'm an involuntary proof reader who likes this site almost as much for its vast array of interesting linguistic sins as I do for its joyful array of carnal sins.

I really liked your story, despite the occasional missing words and other grammar mistakes. I sympathize with you as a non-English speaker which is why it's more important that you have someone who is fluent in English read your story for mistakes.

WHY? Because mistakes destroy the who feeling of the "Fantasy"... and make reading your story into a chore. Sorry, but It's the painful truth.

You have the skill to tell a story but writing it down correctly is your problem. And the only reason you are getting the criticisms over and over again is because a lot of educated people read these stories.

Still, I look forward to reading more stories from you and I hope you continue writing them!

at least would like another chapter of these two

2 1/2-3 pages are near about perfect for standalone stories, and urs was 1 pg too long with too much emphasis on the details.

What a fantastic story. Only wish I was the brother

Dynamite!!! Keep them coming.

Oh my fucking god I wish my brother would fuck me when I sleep now

This is easily one of the best stories I've ever read on this site. Really top notch! Keep 'em coming.

Thanks all for the comments! :-D

Reading this story made me so hot that I took off all my clothes and walked naked to my big brother's room with my 36C boobs bouncing and my insatiable pussy wet. I sucked all 6 inches of him and woke him up. Oh what a night! What a fuck! He fucked my pussy, then fucked my mouth. Then I begged him to fuck my boobs and my ass. The little sister took her big brother in all her holes! I am covered with his cum while I type this. Thanks for the story. It made my fantasies come true!

This was so well done i would like to see another chapter or story of this

Great story

I instantly knew what she was describing when she said her favorite porn AWESOME reference bro

Reading all your fan response should make your head swell with pride. You already know you have a winner, even with some criticism. WHY? Because you captured the youthful memories of so many 'late blooming' kids who tried similar episodes to begin 'real life sex' with a sibling. I know I did, and learned way to late that my sis always thought it was my older brother ... the one she lusted for, not me. He was the geek who didn't understand why she was so mad at him for never completing the task to satisfy her. Neither would initiate a frank conversation re 'Our' mutual sexual urges. But then I was that odd side of the triangle who wasn't the closer - still too shy until I was over 40.

Great memories and very well written to keep readers at a fever pitch. - Tony

This was so hot great story bro

I couldn't bring myself to not love this story. The tone, voice, and overall narrative were too spectacular! Yes it's literotica about twincest but GOD DAMN was it well written! Even the imagery was executed flawlessly, every minute detail could be brought to mind and you didnt even have to write paragraphs describing every little thing. You have TALENT. Write a book, PLEASE!

Yes, very very hot and I wish I had a sister who was like that. She is teaching her little brother all the tricks and tips; so he can make her happy now and his future mate too. So damn hot, I hope you write more. I am so glad I found your stories today. Thank you! Please write more.

Your writing in this is wonderful. Literotica or not, this story is beautifully written. The build up of their connection and suspense of the "when will it all come together?" and "How will this all end?" is perfect. From one writer to another, well done. I hope to see more work by you.

There were a few spelling/grammatical errors, but not enough to distract from the story, contrary to what somebody else claimed. What did stand out, though, and did distract, was the overuse of grins and grinning. Like, *really*a lot; enough to distract me. And the end felt a bit rushed, or perhaps not as long-winded as what came before.

Warning: story spoilers from here on. Don't continue reading this comment if you haven't read the story yet.

As for contents, that's personal preference and therefore not a criticism. Personally, I'm not that keen on descriptions of how a guy is wanking and where his sperm goes, or what sex toys he uses for that purpose. Also, what he did to his sister could be argued to be sexual assault, had she really been asleep. Something to think about.

All in all, pretty well written, especially considering that English isn't your first language (although I have a suspicion that you're from a country where they speak a Germanic language).

I liked how this started slowly, and even though I guessed correctly about her not being asleep it was still believable and fun.

Then you got to page 4... I think your dick took over your typing there. Ah well.

4/5, for being 5/5 until the end. =p

Was a wonderful story

I enjoyed it immensely

A hot sister is an amazing thing.

Your second incest story I've read, and I'm just utterly fucking amazed at how good they are!! I was eye-fucking every last word, whew! ;)

...I do have a few 'No Way!!'s though, hehe. First, the whole guy only jacking off once a day thing? You've GOT to be kidding!! When I was a teen, hell twenties for that matter, three times a day was prolly average. If I had a whole day to myself, then porn and erotica stories would give me an easy six or seven. ...and I'm not talking all three minute jobs either, some slow leisurely thirty minute to hour runs in there! On a day like that, yeah sore at the end, rofl. But sore from just three? No way!!

The second? Hmm, more surprised at the dude I guess. Sis sucks a second orgasm out of him, he's still hard and tells her he can't cum again when she says put it back in. Blasphemy!!! ;). Firstly, you don't know if you don't try! Secondly, he's a teen, he can cum all day long with a bit of recovery in-between, rofl! Third, if a girl tells you to put it back in, why are you arguing the point?!? Hehehe. Yeah, it may be pain/pleasure till the sensitivity goes down, but man-up dude!! ;).

...anyway, all fun aside, I could read, drool, laugh, smile and mastrubate to your incest stories All. Day/Night. Long. Write on my friend, write on! ...and thanks!!

So fucking hot! I need a brother!

I wouldn't be a teenager with a hot sister again for all the tea in China. You captured what it was like perfectly. Minus the part where the guy was hot with a big cock. Not me at all. So I never, ... you know.

It was terrific, wished you could have squeezed in mama's big tits too !

Perfect ending! I usually stop reading after a while😀this time I had to finish the story. Great job!!!

Couldn't finish it unfortunately. The brother character is so creepy, objectifying and depraved, none of what they were doing or thinking was relatable. Made the story impossible to be immersed in. The sister character also felt unrealistic and her dialogue seemed to be more for the purpose of generating sexual fantasy than realism.

The writing is good and the detail you include is great, but it serves a very shallow plot and set of characters.

34E?? Sorry that's gross and too stupid to imagine. Skipped to here to explain that a lot of us don't like fat and E is fat and probably impossible on a 34. Either they are nubile or fake porn but can't be both

34E is hot average in America average is C-D so E is not too big in comparison. Brother is creepy and depraved but slut sister loved it so alls well. Dialogue from both siblings was a bit unrealistic but it wouldnt suprise me if there are teenage siblings who are like this. Jenna is one hot bitch most women who believe their hot because they get some attention are average.

I won't get stuck on linguistic issues or grammatical concerns. Nor do I have an inside knowledge that allows me to question believability. These stories are fantasy. Token believability is generally enough for me.

I did respond quite strongly to the sincerity and quasi-romantic undertone to the smut on offer. I enjoy the knife edge walk between consensual and not here.

Of course these acts in real life would be criminal and can't be condoned. The fantasy of such a thing? Very hot.

Spoilers

Especially when it ends in mutually consented sex and further when we discover that liberties had been taken even more than we guessed!