All Comments on 'May Finds Her Love'

Yes, so well written and to have your beautiful and hot sister screw you hard and do it several times plus making out; is just great !! Its great that May wants him to bang her so hard and several times in a row !! They'll be having hot sex very often !! Cannot wait for more. Thanks.

5 stars, it was good love story and i want to read more about them, it started sadly but the sex is great and i loved it.

Keep writing. You get better with practice. Finding a reader or an editor can be difficult, but keep at it. There are a lot of mistakes, but the general story is understandable.

Their mother getting life in prison was startling; punishment for vehicular manslaughter is rarely more than ten to twenty years, depending on the court and the state's laws. If it's just a device to "get rid of the mother," it doesn't work well.

The discovery of the cabin with all the features? I'd actually be worried about a squatter(s) and there being an illegal drug operation - marijuana or meth (more likely) in that isolated place. Someone paid a lot of money for water, built the cabin (furnished!), and installed electricity, set up in a separate structure.

A good real estate agent will actually visit the place, and would otherwise have known about the cabin. Why? Because any improvements increase the sale of the land, and they earn money from their commission (a percentage of the sale). The owner would have revealed that, too, to increase the sale price. The comment from the agent that there was no water on the site? Well, I see that as foreshadowing -- hinting about something. So the squatters not only had the money, they had time to build habitable structures. That reinforces the notion of the area's isolation. And people who run drug operations have guns. For me, rather than the cabin being a "happy find," you left me feeling like their lives might have been in immanent danger. And that detracted from your intended romance. That's my take. Others are free to disagree.

Again, keep writing, and keep looking for help with reading / editing. There are a lot of errors, but the story is readable. Try the forums; it can take a long time, but be persistent. Thank you for sharing! It takes courage to write and post online. 4*

More please.

All of the earlier story was well written even though boring. The sex scenes seem like they were written by someone else. Someone new to the English language. Repeated words, broken speech and terrible narration made it a chore to get through. It had potential, but jumped the track.

Please continue. What happens, does she give him a baby? Do they live happily together?

but the terrible narration, boring dialog, and broken and disjointed sentences defeated me. I always assumed this writer's native language was English, apparently it's not, not if the weird sentence structure and word choice are anything to go by. Not a keeper, and not very good. 1 star

Of words that flow in a direction that makes as much sense as a rain shower in a vacuum chamber. The narration has all the warmth of a blast freezer at -50°C ,

But the story itself was excellent.

Couldn't make it to page two. Terrible writing.