by clarkcrow
tears at the end.
rejoicing in their happiness
from elderly male
Flow was one of my favorites on this site. This one imo is just as good, though disappointing that Grain and Amelia are barely featured. Still, easilyl 5+++
In have been reading the stories on lit for a while now. And this is definitely one of the top 5 best written...this story isn't about the sex, which is excellent lyrics done as well, but about two people falling in love and exploring what love truly is...well done...
Among my favorite stories. The quiet feeling as she coaxes him out, showing her vulnerability as well as his. Beautiful.
I loved this story! It felt very realistic and even reminded me of my first time. I love when erotic stories aren't just pump-and-dump, this had character and was heartwarming.
I don't comment often, and I've been reading stories on Literotica for quite a while. This is a top 3 piece of the probably 100+ stories I've read. Very well written, good dialogue, realistic and extremely good overall. Wonderful read.
I couldn't get past page 3 for the second time.... Arun is so pathetic and spineless and self- pitying that he destroys my interest in his character. His relationship with Alice was reprehensible and made me ask myself why I was reading this story.
Was a bit slow in the beginning, but worth the build up.
Was also nice knowing Alice and Arun's story was related someway to Rowan and Sarah's story š
Will be looking forward to whatever you're writing next !
I kept thinking that there's no way Arun wouldn't have physical and emotional therapy for his back. They wouldn't have let him out of the hospital without that being planned .
Quite difficult for a Yank to be anything but extremely put out by Arunās Pathological reserve. Youāve given an excellent depiction of a mildly autistic young man. The grindingly glacial pace of their drawing ever closer might be more easily understood on your side of the Atlantic but flies in the face of a pair of mid twenty year old׳s biology. If it wasnāt for Arun׳s heroic action at age 13 I seriously doubt that this remarkably self aware young woman would have bothered with this rather uninteresting anti-social withdrawn young man.
The characters are so well developed - they are real people! The dialogue is natural and convincing. The story teases, it leads the reader on, and we really care about Arun and Alice. That's great storytelling.
I'm betting very many of the readers can at least partially identify with Arun.
This is very well written. Excellent character development. It was a long journey from where it began to where it ended but you kept everything right where it should have been. I feel like I know these people. O e of the best I've ever read anywhere. Thank you.
I donāt think I even need to add a comment but this story was simply amazing.
But I mostly feel like you've taken us on a long journey of the mind.
A beautiful journey, with sweet loving people.
Thanks for the ride!
I really do. It took me a while to find it again, but even at 2nd and 3rd reading it loses nothing. Well told, well built, maybe a bit long up front, but so, so so so worth the time. Thank you.
You really tied everything together very well! I will be reading all you write.
I'm sorry for the deep comment. But I feel the Dread every night. I drink, smoke and masturbate my way into any kind of emotion. Your story made me feel more than I have in months. It wasn't just the rush of a heartbeat. It has been a long time since I've felt that love was possible. Maybe it will be okay to hope again. Thank you so much for the chance to dream of love once more.
This story is so well constructed... it almost feels real like I personally know the main characters. Please keep writing, donāt ever stop!!!
That was an excellent story. Very well written and nicely developed.
The best i have ever read till date. Waiting for ur future releases. Hope u release one soon can't wait tbh.
Brilliant story, beautifully written - I read all 10 pages with a smile on my face. Thank you
Wow, a slow understanding, a slow burn, and a slow buildup and love. The sex is so much better with love of a good woman.
With regards to the āpedantā below, the final sentence is āwe have the rest of our lives togetherā, with āAlice and Iā being used as a clarifying phrase for who āWeā is. Proper grammar would not be āAlice and me have the rest of our lives togetherā, as our lovely āpedantā would suggest. So really, if you want to be pedantic about such a nice story as this, at least try to learn grammar first?
One of the best stories ever
Thank you
Would love a sequel to see what their lives are like five years down the road
Excellent! The build up was a little long but the end was worth the trip!
This story is alright. It's Great writing undercut by literally zero worldview.
It starts off making a philosophical point about consciousness which is retarded. Consciousness- like math, logic, and gravity- has no "western" specificity. If I go to Africa gravity still works the same, a fallacy is a fallacy, and a bridge will require the same math to engineer it (the numerals that identify 1,2,3 etc may change but the concepts will be invariant.
Then you have the love interest be a ho. If you want to be a ho that's cool. You are an unadvisable partner. You lack the required stick-to-it-iveness to be a serious candidate. People don't hire people to be CEOs off the street, because people off the street do not have the required track record. A long term relationship requires labor, commitment, shared values, integrity etc. She has a track record that indicates the opposite.
The story is cute, yeah. But that's largely irrelevant, because I cannot root for them long term. Passionate love is like the tenth thing on the list for a long term marriage.
Lastly, what is a relationship. I've ran into a number of women 10-15 years older than me that I have been enamored with. But I have not gone outside of one night with them, (and I have been up front about it,) because long term it is an unwise decision. If you have a long term relationship with a woman 12 years your senior, what is the point. When you are 23 she is 35 and at risk of geriatric pregnancy if you have kids if she is not already sterile. So what is the point of marriage, outside of offering a woman the promise of security, so she is protected to have kids and a legal/religious contract to enable you and a woman to build a legacy together. By extension what is the point of an age difference relationship (where the woman is older.)
The ability to draw a scene and weave it into a story is top notch, but your POV is this weird puritanical war against noticing unwise decisions.