All Comments on 'His Dark Knight Ch. 02'

Don't stop now :)

I am REALLY enjoying this story!

One thing: It disgusts me to think that Zander believes Rei is a child. He does look young for his age, right? Ugh. Clear it up soon, please. :0/

.....18th birthday come and gone

I wasn't hoping this wouldn't turn into an abusive situation for Rei. I was wrong, which is heartbreaking because I like Rei. On to the next story, which I'm hoping won't include innocent, vulnerable people being abused.

Rei just left an abusive relationship with his mum and jumps into another with Zander?

Rei is NOT in the right state of mind to be in such a relationship with Zander at this moment because he has been abused verbally and physically for so long by his mum so he wouldn't know the difference between a pure abusive relationship to that of a dominant-Sub(BDSM or whatever!) relationship. So I think Zander should take his time and explain some things to Rei. Afterall Rei is a virgin and an innocent one at that.

It also feels like Zander doesn't want to help Rei, but rather use him which is wrong, asking him to repay him with Sex not even an hour after "saving" him from his mum. Zander should also explain his sexual needs to Rei for him to consent before doing all that with him. Otherwise it feels like he is forcing himself on him which will be rape.

I loved the first chapter(I'm the one who commented first) and also the first half of the second chapter. The second half of the second chapter (LOL) in my opinion was too early for the story. I mean we still don't know Zander's real intentions for saving Rei from his mum and we're emotionally attached to Rei due to his harsh life so of course we don't want someone to hurt him again. I was happy Rei was set free from his mum, but then I started questioning Zander's motives after what they did in the car. I know people want the Sex, but take your time to develope these two or you'll ruine a very good Story!

I really like your writing and cant wait to find out more and how these guys progress

This is turning into an interesting story. Playing Zander as both savior and devil works well. It's interesting to see how Zander manipulates the situation. Every once in a while the language gets away from you and yanks me out of the story. The one that comes to mind is the navy sheets reflecting the quilt. Silly but navy doesn't reflect. Try match or complement, but reflect, no. This happens too often. Don't hit the thesaurus unless you are comfortable with the words.

I'm still trying to figure our what brought Zander out to the construction site. It's too easy. It's too convenient. Maybe I missed it, but why don't you have Zander stalking Rei early in the story and just have the others get there first.

I'm going to keep reading. The story hold promise.

Rei whimpers constantly and you use the word "little" A LOT. AND I'm pissed he paid the bitch. I hope she gets robbed and stabbed. Better yet, I wish she falls asleep with a cigarette in her hand and it all burns up!

I really did enjoy the first chapter and the frost 2 pages of this chapter but I cannot stand what Zander became in this last page. He couldn’t care less about Rei, he’s just throwing his money around because really 200k is nothing for him in exchange for an emotionally and physically abused young man who comes across more as a little boy. I’m really shocked at how zander expects repayment in sexual favours from an obviously vulnerable person.

I also think you played up the abuse a little too much, and made Rei act like a 5 year old which was just weird. I’ve always been into age gaps but this just feels predatory. What a shame.

The last anon summed things up pretty well. Rei has regressed to the point that he is clearly in need of therapy. And Zander is all of a sudden into physical abuse, despite it going against everything his character has been about until now.

The scene with his mother didn't make a damn bit of sense either. Is Rei not eighteen? Why would they need to pay her off at all? And as others have mentioned, I would think Zander would sooner smack her around instead of giving her a briefcase full of cash.

So essentially this chapter saw the villain get a big payday, and our protagonist get his balls tortured and treated like a rentboy. Yeah, not my kind of story.

I quite enjoyed how the character turned a bit evil. At most, its s sorr pf development even if others don't agree with Zander progression.

Shi

Not a big fan of "punishment" or pain infliction but I like the underlying emotions in Zander taking Rei in. I know it's already been written but I hope future chapters will focus on those aspects more than sadism.

I little disturbed by Zander "punishing" Rei even though he knows Rei is coming out of an abusive home life. Even implying that Rei liked it doesn't excuse that level of aggressiveness. While Zander's dominate nature had been hinted at he didn't seem unintelligent, so the backseat scene felt oddly off. Zander knows Rei is scared and abused why on earth would he use words like punishment and cause him pain?!