All Comments on 'Horny Linda'

Twice in this, your main character responds with a shake of his head, apparently meaning "yes". SHAKING ONE'S HEAD MEANS NO! *NODDING* ONE'S HEAD MEANS YES!

-Rei

When authors tell stories here, why do you turn from the story to the reader and introduce yourselves? Introduce yourself tot he lady. or let her introduce you.

I won't enter the dispute about head shaking and head nodding...never mind head-knocking!!! because I am aware some cultures do use a shake for affirmative and nod for negative. It's your call.

How many women are in the room? Why is Linda a women?

If she's as good looking as you make her out to be, why does she have wrinkly hands? Your inconsistencies kill your story.

Jim

I know what it's like to get bad criticism I was put off submitting again by scathing criticism but we all want to start somewhere.

A very good first submission I'm sure this has been many a young mans fantasy and it happened to you.

Couple of things others have mentioned but very good

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH There has to be more, much more. I'm a very old man and I shoveled snow for a few elderly ladies when I was young. I wished many times something like this would happen to me, but never this fucking lucky.

Again the shaking head thing was a bit wobbly but all in all i thought it was pretty good. Nice and concise as well as very hot. If you were to do another one i would say build the suspense a tad and maybe describe in more detail the way she sucks and how you fucked her etc. Looking forward to more!

Well done for a first effort. The stories of real events are always a treat.

You asked for constructive criticism, so I'll venture a few thoughts.

First, proofread, proofread, proofread. I can't stress this enough. Most mistakes are simple ones, or typos, that you will find by reading through your work. You will ALWAYS find something. And you'll always find the most glaring mistake after the story hits the site. Proofreading can be tedious, especially in a longer story, but correcting the mistakes you make will be worth the effort. I read my work through at least five times before I submit. Not the most enjoyable part of the process, but it makes for a much more readable story when the errors are corrected.

Use spellcheck, or something similar. It will also catch things, mistakes that you miss, and offer the opportunity to make changes on the spot. That said, check the spellcheck. It will sometimes offer incorrect solutions.

Pay attention to spelling, and using the correct word. "Women" is plural, as someone else noted. "Woman" is the singular. "Pretty cold out their..." No, it's "there," indicating location. "Their" is a plural. I'm not trying to be nitpicky; these things make a difference in how a story flows.

Good story, hope you do more. And again, proofread. Then proofread again.

Very nice. Well written. Hope to read some more of your sexcapades.

I enjoyed the read but was distracted by the many spelling and grammatical errors. To be a writer you need to master the skills, certainly edit (or have edited) the draft. You have certainly earned a requested encore though.

Let's say she was in her mid-60's. That means she was born in the early 1950's, an era when "fuck" and "cunt" were not as widely used as they are these days. A woman that age would never say "lick my fucking cunt" or "fuck me". the closer you get to the language women of that age would use the more realistic your stories will be.