All Comments on 'Tempus Fugit Ch. 02'

This is a good story so far but the length is agonizingly short.

An interesting idea with technically decent writing, but I agree completely with John. If it’s a single page, it may as well be a quick and dirty stroke story. You trying to write anything with a plot in such a limited way is doomed to failure.

On the subject of sex, I’d recommend beefing up the details. So far, this reads more like a summary than anything else. My opinion is to churn out a story with at minimum 3 pages. If this takes a month or two, fine, but make the quality worthwhile. This? Again, the idea and lack of errors is really all you have going for you. Best of luck.

I like the story development and it looks like this is going to be a fun one to read. Longer chapters would be appreciated.

Just a nitpick, but said radical prophet's demise was at the hands of the Jews of the time, rather than the Romans.

Otherwise, I agree with the other commenters about the chapter's length.

Ahem, sorry to pick nits with your nitpicking, however, although it was the Pharisees who wished said radical dead, Jewish law did not allow the death penalty and therefore they returned him to the Romans for the actual execution.

Your writing ( & your readers) deserve longer chapters so you can better explore your concept. Please.

I love the story. The short chapters are annoying to the point of distraction. Just as you get to the point where there is something interesting and exciting going on in the story line, you kill it.

Great story just wish the chapters were longer, I just start getting into the story and it finished.

I'm still working out how many pages in Word=how many pages here on Literotica. But Chapter 3 will be longer--promise!

Well now that you tell us i think we can forgive you, To answer your question i think it's about 10 pages in word for 1 lit page.

One more think your sex scenes could use a little work to, by making them more detailed.

Thank you for a fresh viewpoint, and for an excellent beginning to what I hope is a fully developed story.

great story keep them coming

This is absolutely. Brilliant! Please keep going!

I am really enjoying the chapters so far

The author is obviously has a much longer story in his head, I wish he would continue it.

This story line has soooooo much potential. Please don't leave us hanging.

Please come back or publish something