All Comments on 'Rushing In'

A beautiful story, very well done in my opinion. As I am a reader that favors romance,all the elements that I look for where present. the character development, and length were perfect, and the sex was not over done. Thank you again for your hard work and effort.

NorthPacific

Please write more in the romance category.

More with these characters becoming committed to each other please.

I enjoyed the sexual tension without the graphic description of every in and out stroke. Made for a believable, exciting story. Thanks for sharing.

Great first story. Correction, great story regardless of how many you have written. I really enjoy the characters and their interaction. Life sucks sometimes, so it's great to read a story where it doesn't.

Good story, well-drawn characters, endearing plot that handled the cliche romantic story structure well. I do have to say that I immediately began reading another story after finishing this, and made a cup of coffee before writing this comment, and by the time I began to write this, I couldn't remember if I had actually finished reading the story. I clearly remembered everything about the story, the characters, the feelings, but I couldn't be sure that I had actually read the ending, so I checked, and I had. I guess what I am saying is, good story, forgettable ending.

A good storyline which developed well but one major loose end. Emily obviously was a big part of Rush life and had gone into surgery but basically just she just dropped out of the story when she did.

Only one later mention of a phone call which was going to be made to her mother.

Otherwise more of the same please.

There seemed to be a distinct lack of concern about Emily despite her "best friend" status. Either she's in the story or she's not in the story but she can't be introduced and then forgotten.

The ending was FAR too abrupt for the pace of the rest of the story...and I really liked the pace of the rest of the story. I agree with the other commenter who said that, after a few minutes, they weren't even sure if they read an ending.

Other than that, I thought this was quite a good story.

Titled "Hot Coco" instead of "Rushing In" as the story was more about Coco and Marc!

Nice romantic story even though I agree with the other comments re: the ending, the story was well developed but left Emily out after we got invested in her recovery and your ending was a cutoff instead of developed like the rest of the story.

Please keep writing in this catagory and working on your obvious skills.

A Treat

Maybe your next one will be about ordinary people? The only box not checked was special forces.

What ever happened to the best friend driving the car?

To see a good story in the Romance category. It and Novels are about the only categories I read.

Only suggestion I would have is the spend more time showing why each character would be attracted long term to the other. Cute/beautiful and competent are nice but warmth, intelligence, ethics, etc matter too. How can those be shown?

Well done, enjoyed it.

It touches all the bases. My only doubt, probably a foolish one is did Coco give up her job with Rusch? I can imagine the next Christmas party at the Law firm!

Dear Readers,

I rarely respond to comments in this way. If you send me a direct comment via my email, I always respond.

I see that many of you and also many who have written directly to me are asking about Emily. I should have clarified her status. Emily is fine. She had some surgery, but came through well and is recuperating. She and Rush have spoken, but I did not include that fact in the story.

I am pleased that many of you were concerned about Emily. She is a great young women and she and Rush will continue to be BFF.

Thanks for taking the time to comment.

Orie

Great story. Loved it.Many thanks.

Loved your story and voted too. My comment though is not completely about your story. The first thing I have to say, is that my tongue is in my cheek. The crooked smile on my face is a happy one. That being said I am a (406) guy, that's the area code for Montana. The University of Montana is my alma mater and it's in Missoula Montana. Montana State University has always been in Bozeman, Montana. Billings Montana was historically the home of Eastern Montana College who after they restructured changed the name to Montana State University-Billings. Thus causing nothing but confusion.

Sometimes I try to fake being a writer and I have the firm conviction that fiction is fiction. If you want to have the star of your story fall in a vat of permanent bluing and remain blue for the rest of his life... It's your story. So if you want the University of Montana to be in billings, you got it. Just FYI :-) Thanks for the story.

This story was very well constructed with fantasized, yet believable characters. I'm not much of a fan of interracial mergers, but this was handled as well as could be expected.

We did not get much of a view of Marc's life and loves. A highly eligible bachelor of 40 with no apparent girl friends and no talk of ex-wife or whatever makes this side of the story incomplete. i'm always a fan of the incomplete story so I can do my own fantacizing about how this will continue, but I'm at a loss to see what Marc and Coco are going to do with their lives (together???). Get married? Shack up? Nothing sounds either plausible or desireable. So, I'll just chaulk it up to a fun read and not worry about the future of this cast of characters. Coukld have been a 5*, but settled for a 4*. Good writing so maybe I'll look at some other offerings by this author (although upon first examination, I don't really like the categories they're in).

Was nice, romantic. Only things that broke the spell for me, was everyone stripping and the fact that they instantly trusted Marc enough to go to his house. I can understand trusting him enough to allow him into the hospital room, but to put faith in him and go to his house, nuh uh. Then everyone seems to be ok with stripping in front of him at his property. Still, 4*. It was nice to see a new post from you Orie.

Great thought...passion...tolerance...sweet story! Thanks for this one!!!

Thanks. For a fun story. The story was great, the media bit was quite correct, and the love story(s) worked out well. Be fun to hear a bit more of this group.

I would have liked it being fleshed out a bit more - there were a few loose ends, maybe more backstory? Could have stood just a bit more development. Well worth the read!

It is a fine romance and I hope you are inspired to write more of them. Thanks

Thank you, this was an excellent read, nice characters and a happy ending after a little strife. Well worth trying your hand at more romance, I think.

A nice simple romance (much harder to write than it looks) nicely round Dec characters. Could have gone in more than one direction. Nicely held on course.

This story has another chapter in it I think. Being from totally different worlds there has to be a couple of speed bumps until they are safe together. Could also be a nice Tracy and Allie spin off. Not to mention a natural blond called Belinda. Then of course the pop stars first time. All from this one.

I read Literotica because of the sensuality. When I finally read a Romance story, I couldn't believe what I had been missing. I'm a sucker for love stories and when beautiful sex is included, it's amazing. Great story! Please keep up the excellent work.

MORE, please. This is definitely your strong category.

That's your best yet!

This by far my favorite category. Please write again in this category, this ranks right up there with HOF stories and should become one.

I really enjoyed this one. It had some good misdirections in it as to which character he'd fall for. The leak was well handled and seemingly true to life. My bet was on the hospital. Lol. I do hope that you will continue to write in this category. On another note I discovered today why MarshAlien hasn't been posting new material. How sad. Protect your work. You are that good.

Sincerely, The Infamous Anonymous.

I gave this chapter 5* but it is worth much more.

The story line flowed smoothly all the way to the end. Your characters were developed very well and their ongoing situations were so believable I felt like I was there watching it unfold. Thank you for you great story and I can't wait for chapter 2.

RecHiker

Thanks Orie, Well done. A true 5.

I agree with previous comments about the abrupt ending, I know there is more story there and this ending could have possibly been more of a taper towards ' what happens next ' yet written as it could be considered stand alone or part one of a story.

The story was really good but the ending kinda ruined it. I thought there should have been more to it also the guy was too much of a pushover in my opinion. This story could have been so much more better and a solid 5 star but the ending turned it into weak 4 star. But I would definitely checkout your other stories and keep you in my list of good authors.

Andy

Very enjoyable read with absorbing characters. Did not find the ending a problem, actually believable, except would have wished more epilogue concerning their future arrangements together. Look forward to more of your works.

This had to be one of the best stories I have read on this page..You did good,,,

Even though the ending was incomplete and lacked a sense of closure I still rated the story a 5 because it was a good read in every other respect. A decent editing job too. Very few mistakes in syntax, punctuation and grammar. Thanks for sharing Orie!

is that the story didn't so much end as it just stopped. Other than the leas than satisfying end, I enjoyed the story very much.

I liked that it took a turn in a different direction than I expected. And, as others have said, the ending was cut very short. But overall, I liked it a lot. I’d give it 5 stars, and hope to see more stories in the “Romance” section from this author.

I'm a sucker for romance. I gave you 5 stars. Liked the general story line, but would agree with the others that commented about the ended being to short. Or rather incomplete. Other than that, you have a lovely style of writting and I do appreciate the characters and general sens that your stories are not just "porn writting". The emotional aspect in the backgroung makes for a deeper appreciation of the story.

So, the romantic in me says good job and keep it up. ;)

was how the other person in the car got brought up only once in passing. A friend would rate more attention from the entire entourage.

Well done, yes I'm a romance reader primarily. Even to skipping quickly over page long sex scenes if I feel they contribute too little to the understanding of the character's emotions.

Thanks.

Well done the best story I have read for ages

I really enjoyed this story. I did wonder about the “friend” who was driving the car, as someone else mentioned. She seemed to be shunted aside early and never mentioned again. Seems a rather callous way to treat a friend. Also, as others have noted, the story ended very abruptly, in my opinion. I wouldn’t have minded a little “Epilogue”, just to tie up a few loose strings. All that said though, I’m surprised this story isn’t getting a higher voting score. Even with the couple of things I brought up I still think it deserves a 5 Star rating.

Really enjoyed this story. I must say I enjoy the more romantic tales & I do like a happy ending. It's good to read a sexy story that doesn't involve sissies and fem doms with whips.

Rated it as five stars but like a number of others would have liked to know what happened to the friend. The ending did seem sharp but maybe a follow-up is warranted ? Otherwise, good story, good pace & language. Thanks.

A well crafted tale. I felt that the romantic element was well written. I did feel that the reconciliation was rather abrupt. I got the sense that Marc was angry, justifiably so, and Coco really should have apologized. Instead she just shows up and all is well. Still a great story. 5*

Love your work .

I cannot believe this is your first try at Romance. Your character and plot development were outstanding. You fully developed all he characters (even the minor ones) in a very efficient manner (you did not take 2 pages on each one, but I never felt cheated either.) Finally, you wrapped the story up very well, and resolved all the plot lines completely. If this is an indication of your writing ability then I cannot wait to read the rest of your submissions.

That was one hell of a story. You told a very good tale with an equally good ending.

Very good story line.

Keep writing

Had read the story before, but did not recognize it in the beginning. A great second read and as entertaining as before. Bravos

Belief not even close to being suspended.

happened to Emily??

Throughly enjoyed it!

I really enjoyed this story. Coco sounds delicious.

I had hoped that maybe Marc and Rush might have a little fling sometime,

Perhaps a sequel would be warranted?

Please continue to write such awesome stories!

Everybody too perfect and rich. Too much detail on things that aren't pertinent to the story such as the food.

I loved this romantic tale and especially how saint Peter's abilities just kept multiplying. He went from hero to savior and then back to apparently a traitor. Well done and masterfully told. Bravo.

I’m surprised he he let you off so easily on the interracial aspect. Usually he’s much worse. Be glad he gave you 4* as he usually likes 3*.

My vote? Definitely worthy of 5*. The minor complaints voiced earlier are, while perhaps valid, not enough to drop the score.

Keep up the great work.

Good story. Would like to see a sequel to this.

O really enjoyed this story and the only reason I didn 't give it a five was because I wanted more. What happened to the friend in the car crash? Did Rush write a song about Marc? Did Marc and Coco stay together?

A sure sign of a great story is when you realize that you have read it before but keep reading until the end!

I love rereading this story.

5 stars. Well written. Keep writing romance stories as well as others.

Pretty darned good. Decent finish and room to follow you with romance for Rush and Belinda.

Great story! 5+

what is with no mention of Amelie's girlfriend also in the car crash? Think I would have made the story more about a week or so at St. Peter's place with no press finding them. 3 sexy topless women tanning and teasing him, then Tracy and Allie make 5 beautiful women tanning and showering

A well written story that held my interest all the way through. It is realistic and plausible as all good fiction is. You obviously understand that readers will not accept over the top and unrealistic scenarios or the characters unlikely reactions to situations. Other than forgetting about the other girl in the car crash,Amelia,no contradictions just a nice flow. I must say that this tale ended too early.As much as this tale needs it to be fully complete,do not do a sequel to this just for the sake of doing so.Do so only if its well thought out and blends with the story..I could have kept reading. JZK

I'm not usually drawn to romance, but I am to good writng and I especially like slow burns. I agree that more can be added to the story, as is the case with any strong foundation.

read the whole thing!...

It's a great story but somuch more could be added...the virgin, the older mum,. Amazing potential

great story, but was very rushed in the end and so much could be added around the conflict

I feel it’s in wrong category sorry not 5stars

You left poor Emily out in the cold!

No refuge, and no updates.

No way to treat a friend!

I am not alone in feeling the ending was somewhat forced, a real shame after a delightful slow build-up. I wonder what happened to Emily -- not a single word about her after they left the hospital.

I agree that this story BEGS for a follow up.

Milf Belinda really deserves some love. A "reunion" of the players in a third city where perhaps marc is owed a favor, Rush & company flies in between tour dates. Rush can shred her v card under the caring tutelage of Marc and the bi-protector-chick Coco.

I think I have to agree with the comments below. The ending just didn’t quite match the style and fullness of what preceded it. I do like the story otherwise.

This is a great and very well written story. 5 stars for that. Well cept for forgetting about poor incapacitated Emily.

It also falls short in the ending. It is like many other stories on lit that are well written and then stumble at the finishing post.

From the outside looking in it would appear that a talented author has been inspired by a great story idea. They set about writing it. Of course unless you write in the unapologetic style of Vandemonium1, all stories need a beginning before the middle bit is written. So it is easy to write a prologue when you know where you want the beginning bit to end up. So then the middle bit, the original core of the idea is written. And then.

And then.

Um. And then we run out of steam coz any ending aside from "And they all lived happily ever after" was just plain never planned.

I remember my old and dottery headmaster who would drill into us everyday that it is not the beginning of the task that is important. its the ending.

Of course being 15 years old I knew so much more than the silly old dottery fool. Well at least that's what I thought way way back then.

Good writing though.

A good story. I've read it several times. There is one problem. EMILY. She was in the beginning and in surgery then nothing. Rush mentioned once about calling Emily's mother and that was the end. You need a second part. You need to finish up on the players. Does Coco and Peter get married? What happened to Emily? Does Rush write a song about her St. Peter? The ending was too short.

There could be several follow ons to this story

Great story! Good character development and plot. And it ended on a great note. Also reminds me of trips to the Cape when I lived in Boston. 5*