All Comments on 'A Number's Game Ch. 01'

There is is little concept called nonconsent. Look it up.

It doesn't matter that you've tried to spin this with a hint of a supposed 'naturally submissive nature' bs. You've created a world based on noncon. Move it there as this is not bdsm.

More chapters, please

To the first user who asked for more chapters: if you're a good little slave (and the moderator approves my draft) then you shall have one within the week. Glad you are enjoying it!

To the second user who suggested I move this story to the non-consensual category: Thank you for your concern and vigilance. This chapter, when taken on its own, DOES appear to be non-consensual. I am a firm believer in "NO MEANS NO." Thankfully, Sixey is fictional, so no crime has been committed. But that is IRRELEVANT. A good writer never reveals his/her hand in the first chapter. If you would be so kind as to read chapter two (forthcoming this week) I'm sure you'll see that my tale, when read in its entirety, is consensual. In fact, if you're into non-consent, don't read chapter two. You won't like it. And remember, boys and girls... SAFE, SANE, AND CONSENSUAL OR IT'S CRIMINAL!

Oh to be in 60's perverbial shoes again. This story brings back fond memories, thank you for that.

On a more practical note, bless you, and your editor. Wonderfully written, sentence structure and character development are great and I can't wait to read more!

Can't wait for more? Whose your editor?

For erotica? I don't have an editor. I've worked with a few different editors, agents, and directors outside of the genre, though. Not for this. I'd be crucified if anyone but my wife knew I was writing this!

If you're interested in the craft of writing, I'd recommend the following:

1. Pick up a copy of Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King. Treat it as gospel. Also, Stephen King's On Writing is pretty good, too.

2. Write your story, then put it away for a few weeks before editing. It's amazing how bad a first draft can stink after it's festered a few.

3. Read your work aloud. Language was spoken for millennia before it was written. Your ears will catch mistakes that your eyes never will.

4. Can't remember where the comma goes? Write shorter sentences. It worked for Hemingway.

5. Even in the most bizarre situations, your characters should behave like people. They came into those situations with motivations and preconceptions. Every character wants SOMETHING. Even if it's a glass of water. Hey... there's an idea! Oh wait... I already used that in chapter two. ;)

6. Don't give up!

6. Find someone supportive of your craft. Stephen King's wife, Tabitha, dug his manuscript for Carrie out of the trash.

7. Realize that mistakes will find their way into every final draft and that repeating your sixth talking point isn't the end of the world.

8. Remember that writing is 1% creation and 99% revision.

9. Cry a little.

10. Revise the fucking thing again. And again. And again.

276 strokes of a cane....yeah right after that much torture she would most likely be a gibbering bleeding puddle of agony most likely with a severed cock in her mouth.

“... Just as I suspected, that light in her eyes is desire, the need to submit. She is a natural slave, and I am weakened by her beauty, her prowess and natural skills.”

FML that’s just ALL of the cliches, all it needs is “..and she final realised her true place in life” 🙄

The writing style is reasonable and you set the background quite well.