All Comments on 'My Daughter in Law Pt. 02'

Your story is fine. Daughter in Laws need to be fucked by their FIL's.

However, you should read your story before submitting it for publication. You shift verb tense throughout the story from present tense to future tense. You utilize a word choice two or three times in the same sentence.

DIL is obviously a cock hound, but not for her husband. She doesn't like to suck cock, but sucks her FIL's and swallows his semen.

I'll let you contact me if you like. We can chat.

Can 't WAIT

It might turn out to be a half decent story if it wasn't so damned hard to read. I gave up after the first half-a-dozen paragraphs.

It is obvious that some people don't bother to read their own work. How many times can you use the word, cunt, in the one, long, continuous, boring sentence -- a sentence that should really be broken up into four sentences, anyway?

"I slipped my fingers into the sides of her panties and lowered them down her legs to her ankles,[stop] after she stepped out of them I pulled her closer and kissed her on her bald cunt and then stared at her puffy cunt[pussy] lips,[stop] I ran my finger over her slit and watched as her cunt[lower] lips opened to let me push a finger inside her cunt[redundant][stop], Rebecca let out a moan and took a deep breath as I fingered her wet cunt[tunnel/cavern/passage]."

Holy shit! Use a thesaurus and find alternative words. There is even a thing called an 'Erotica Thesaurus', which provides alternatives for sexually stimulating words. Please use it.

I'd also suggest that you read your work aloud to yourself. It'll help you to pick up words that are repeated too frequently.

I'm afraid I was too scared to go back and read your first effort.

C an't wait for the next chapter

You should finish the story with one last chapter where the son finds out his asshole dad is fucking his gambling whore wife and shoots them both and buries their bodies to never be found and takes his daughter and starts a new life then you can write an incest story of the son and his daughter. Sorry but stopped halfway thru this chapter and won't finish. Dad will have DIL fucking all his friends or complete strangers by the end because he doesn't care about her and certainly doesn't give a shit about son or granddaughter. 1star

Wish she was my daughter in law.