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All Comments on 'More Than I Bargained For'
by ahuizotl
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- 5 Comments
Failedscoutover 5 years agoGrea Start!
Very good start. I wish that you would have slowed down and stretched it out a but more while adding some length but still it was very enjoyable.
Thank you for writing and posting here.
Anonymousover 5 years agoNeed more
You tease us. This needs parts 2, 3, and probably more after that. Please continue!
Anonymousover 5 years agoNot for me
You moved from past to present tense
and the grammar was awful.
What is dove? I thought it was a bird.
Did you mean dived between his legs?
Anonymousover 4 years agoSeriously?
You think "dived" is a word and you have the nerve to criticize someone else?
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