All Comments on 'More Than I Bargained For'

by ahuizotl

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  • 5 Comments
FailedscoutFailedscoutover 5 years ago
Grea Start!

Very good start. I wish that you would have slowed down and stretched it out a but more while adding some length but still it was very enjoyable.

Thank you for writing and posting here.

KremeKremeover 5 years ago
Wow

Wow... Just wow

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Need more

You tease us. This needs parts 2, 3, and probably more after that. Please continue!

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Not for me

You moved from past to present tense

and the grammar was awful.

What is dove? I thought it was a bird.

Did you mean dived between his legs?

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
Seriously?

You think "dived" is a word and you have the nerve to criticize someone else?

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userahuizotl@ahuizotl
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When a better time to try something on one's mind then at the beginning of the year?