All Comments on 'A Dragon's Tale Ch. 02'

That's great work Antiproton, really developing the changing relationship of Ethan and Alana. I hope you release the next chapter sooner though, I get frustrated not knowing how the story is going to progress.

Pretty please, edit the story description. As someone who speaks german, it was almost physically painful to read it. Firstly, every noun is in german written with capital letter. Secondly, with "viel" you should use plural form of "der Feind", which is "die Feinde". And the word "viel" needs to adapt to the plural form. It should be "viele Feinde, viel Ehre". It still doesn't feel completely right to me, but it is far far better than what you have there.

Thank you.

Correction to the German submitted, thanks for catching that. :)

Also, the next (3rd) chapter has already been submitted. It was originally one long chapter, but on the advice of my editor I broke it in half. My goal is to release a chapter every month from here on out.

This story is going at a perfect pace, well written, and a original plot line. I love stories like this

We modern people always over estimate travelling speed of the past. A league is 3 miles; travelling 10 leagues even on a road on horse back is good speed especially when you consider they are armoured and equipped travellers. They might do a little better if they have ambling (or gaited) horses. A walking horse speed 4 mph; trot or amble about 8 mph. You would not tire a horse getting to a fight you might need a rested horse to run away.

Decimate does not mean devastate or destroy. It specifically means "removal of a tenth", from decem, the Latin word for ten. Killing 10% of the population of a village still leaves 90%; it doesn't wipe them out. 90% of her trees would have left plenty for her to continue. If they are ALL gone, they weren't decimated.

The Romans used it to punish large numbers of men, selecting one out of every ten for death. The remaining nine were then forced to beat their former comrade to death, thus a horribly cruel punishment. Anyone who refused was also killed.

while you are historically correct ( & this bugs me to no end myself) if you look it up in a modern dictionary it's been changed to mean to destroy or remove a large portion of , so while vexing to anyone who loves history it's proper usage now . It's amazing how language can change over time .

Great story. I loved it.

But, at the risk of being a wise-ass: Anonymous asked you to change the description (I don´t know how it was before), but as a german native speaker I´d like to ask you to change it again. Anonymous is correct about grammar (in theory), but this is a (rather old) german proverb and therefore is still written the way it used to be back then (using outdated grammar rules) and not how it would be written today. The correct version would be "Viel Feind, viel Ehr".

I don’t mean to sound like I’m complaining here... I just got done watching a marathon of Game of Thrones so I have that in my head when I was reading the chapter. The way you discribe Ethan’s dragon body just seemed odd to me. I know that your story is completely different from GoT, I’m just having a hard time understanding the way he is supposed to look and the way his body works. You make it sound like he has all the movements of a human body, like walking on two legs, in one sentence then later say he walks on all fours. It’s probably just me, but I’m thinking that the dragons in your story are more like a hybrid of a human form and the dragons seen in movies and tv shows today. I just try to picture what the characters are doing when you set a scene and sometimes it doesn’t make sense to me. Don’t get me wrong, I like the story and I am worndering where it goes from here. I just have a problem with understanding some things. Oh, how do elves know what a heart attack is? They have a different name for god, shouldn’t they have different names for other things too? I think the term heart attack has only been around since the 20th century, but has been discribed with different words for thousands of years. I’m just saying that there’s probably going to be a “lost in translation” thing between Ethan and the peoples in this world.

@ anonymous with title "2 cents worth":

In my mind, they are somewhat similar to a mountain lion at Ethan's size, only with wings, scales, and a very human shoulder joint (otherwise he couldn't fight effectively). As for walking on two legs vs. four, have you ever played the video game Halo? The elites (an enemy class) in that game have a hock joint similar to most cats/dogs/dragons and they walk on two legs. Several movies also have werewolves switching back and forth between two and four legs naturally, which is what I had in mind.

As for the heart attack, you're probably right. In future chapters (those I've written anyway), I do make earth idioms a point of confusion/humor often. It's a job trying to suss out how "Earthly" to make the world while still keeping it fantasy.

Loving the story. Amazing story line (plot). Good job

Love every word .... darn it im hooked line n sinker :)

Congratulations on your February 2021 award. I had not found you before. I am starting the story at the beginning and loving it so far.

Thank you for writing and sharing.

Re: Earth idioms

Along with 'heart attack', I doubt she has any idea what 'ditto' means. It's alright to use them, but you do need to address the lack of understanding, when you do. Doesn't necessarily need to be done at the moment, but it can be a basis for them to bond, and get to know each other better.

Something many writers fail to do is include normal conversations people have. Something like Ethan's use of 'ditto' can be used as basis for a conversation, later; before they fall asleep, for example.

Normalizing conversations, and question asking makes your characters come alive, and be easier to relate to. It also gives you an easy to use, and readily available vehicle for developing your characters, or their relationships with each other.

@Anonymous: earth idioms reply

why wouldn't she know what a heart attack or ditto is? Those aren't products of earth technology like a movie or phone. Ditto is just a word for "the same thing again" and heart attack is just a word for "permanent damage to the heart muscle". If you want to nitpick then start with why they speak English. But if you accept them speaking English then even her use of expressions like " on tenterhooks", which I think is a better example of what you meant, is perfectly normal.

The title of this chapter is one of the original slogans of the Italian Fascism during the autarchy in the 30s ( molti nemici, molto onore). You may want to know its origin if you want to use it.

I find it refreshing to have the main female character described more in the type that I am attracted to. Big tits and a big butt have never been in my wheelhouse. I am really enjoying this story. Keep up the good work!

Glad they aren't being rushed into anything, besides an ambush, that is. I do like the slow build up of the trust, understanding and intimacy between the two of them.

I agree with both Anonymous and Sniperking about the use of Idioms. While both of them assumed that Alana and Ethan, and everyone else is speaking in English, I speculate the through magic, Ethan is now speaking that worlds native language, so that 'heart attack', 'ditto' and 'on 'tenterhook's' would find their comparative words, but words like 'movie' would not have a counterpart word. And I am finding it interesting to identify with a dragon, reminds me of a book from a few decades ago (1970's) called "The Dragon and the George" by Gordon Dickson; a George was what dragons called a Knight that fought dragons; this book was good enough to have several sequels. ;-) TTFN

Oh, and earth/western custom of shaking hands came from the age of Chivalry, ... when Knights would greet each other, with their weapon arm (commonly the right arm) raised to show that they were unarmed, and not attacking, ... the custom evolved a bit through the years, ... ;-) TTFN

You're doing good. I am glad you're continuing to post. May I suggest LTPCs story

'Endangered, 12 chapters to date. He is a slow to post for a variety of reasons, but it is an excellent, innovative story.

Best wishes,

Bob

Literally the best. I love the relation ship between the characters and their personal depths. The story is so rivitimg and I can't stop reading it.

Semi-married but not even a kiss on the cheek lol. That's pathetic. A kiss on the cheek isn't even sexual.

Yep, this is turning out to be pretty good. The story and characters have so much promise.

To the anon who quoted 'molti nemeci, molto onore'.

The title of this chapter goes back till 1513 and was said by Georg von Fundsberg, a Soldier for the Habsburg family, after he and his men beat an army from venezia 4 times bigger in numbers near Creazzo...

Viel Feind, viel Ehr.

I'm enjoying this a lot. Thanks for sharing it.

I'm enjoying, would have liked to see Ethan have more issues in what has happend to him not just accept it as no big deal lol

OH NO The Friend Zone! great stuff.

Ah yes, your only use for me is to get married to cement an alliance, which is why I will beat you, mistreat you, then send you far away pursuing dangerous fugitives that have already killed a half dozen of my men.

Makes absolutely perfect sense.