All Comments on 'Ashley and Jason Pt. 03'

Except for the pool, why did they bother going to the party. They never interacted with anyone even to say hi, did not even have a drink. Just did what they normally do, fucked each other. Not even having a friend join them. Surely all the fucking would have been more comfie at home.

Don't get me wrong, apart from the fucking which has become boring, I did enjoy the 3 lines of story.

@UltimateHomeBody

The reason they didn't interact is Ashley's friends were to busy fucking than drinking. Not all parties need to HAVE alcohol and Jason is under 21. Make sure u check ur facts before shitting on someone.

Get a thick skin.

A party means having time with friends.

Theyvare 18 or over, of course it means alcohol, but then all I said was a drink. Not even water as all that fucking makes you thirsty.

I stand by why go to party and not even say hello.

The fucking needs variation, you have done same fuck time after time.

Just delete negative critic comments if you dont want to improve your writing. I try to point out what needs improving. Just reading till the end means you can write well enough. You story just needs to improve.

I am writing a story myself so everyone I have said negative comments can get their revenge.

Does it really look like I give a damn? It's my God damn story. U came to me and left a comment on my story not the other way around

Very lame, not even worth jerking off to, too much false conversations between them, nobody talks like that just ridiculous