All Comments on 'You're Going to Lose That Girl'

I enjoyed this story. It reminded me of the stories you used to write 10 to 15 years ago.

5

What a delightful treat to wake up to on Sunday morning. A healthy dose of lighthearted humor featuring gentlemanly guys, assertive and empowered gals and HDK’s signature sexual euphemisms liberally employed throughout. An unexpected and welcome treat. Thanks much.

Damn but that was a fine story. Well thought out and even better presented.

Good story. Loved it.😁😁👍👍

This story is great fun to read. Loved it. Five, no, SIX thumbs up.

A sweet story, HDK. A great read. Thanks for sharing.

Hooked

very good story. Characters are engaging with a nice romantic plot line. Thanks John.

Woodmanone

That is a sweet, light-hearted and entertaining story. Well done

Usually, I enjoy reading your stories, but, this one, left me cold, after the beginning. That it portrays someone being shanghaied, by the local community law enforcement and judicial branches, in order to force someone, in this case a character named Hick, into service to the community, or in other words the state, as a good thing is just terrible. Apparently in this story, the saying "No Good Deed Goes Unpunished" applies. Hick does a good turn for the judge and he gets his rights violated. I know, I know it is just a story and the story does seem to end with a 'Happily Ever After' ending, the fact that it started with the rights of a citizen being, so capriciously, violated, turned me off from reading this story any further, beyond a quick scan. This does NOT mean I hope you stop writing, far from it. I do look forward to your next endeavor.

Very enjoyable story, with some very good humor and some funny innuendo. Hick and Rachel's romance was well-handled, with Rachel slowly opening up to him as the story progressed. One suggestion for improvement is that scene transitions needed some work in some places to help improve reading flow. In the end, very nice job and thanks for writing and sharing it.

EXCELLENT! I love stories like this. Best story I've read in some time. I gave it 25 stars! Okay then, how about just 5 stars, lol Now, if every Author wrote like this one, I could be happy as a retiree! Thank you HDK, it was an honor to read your most excellent contribution.

loved it. great work

Wonderfully hilarious--HDK in fine form. Thanks so much for this! It's hard to say what's funniest, but I've narrowed it down to two possbilities. The first is the opening sentence, "The rain poured down in buckets," which is of course a paraphrase of the famous opening sentence of Edward Bulwer-Lytton's 1830 novel Paul Clifford:

"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents".

The second is his truly unique new euphemism for masturbation (and God knows there are a lot of them in this story, "making the bald man cry." Perfect! I'd never seen that one before.

Thanks as always to the Master--

ohio

Nice and silly!

Dope story, HDK. Humorous and romantic, just as an HDK story should be. Full marks from me. Write another, please. Randi.

Good one!

Nice light hearted romantic comedy. I thoroughly enjoyed the read. Almost begs for a second part but I wont push. I'm sure I will love your next characters as much as these.

5 stars at least!

Cheers

SAGE

Nice light-hearted tale. Much enjoyed

ok im going to hold here for a bit page 1 half way down. what i see here is a man being setup up for prison time for molestation of a minor. which is a death sentence. now i sure its going to be something about wanting to fuck the guy but the way they did it is making my balls hide and me saying run run run, run fast, run far these ladies are crazy lol

Nicely done

It was a good romance. You used lot of plot devices but the whole Shanghai by the judge made no sense. What a psycho that judge was. Him being rich detracted from the story and left a lot of questions. Hopefully this guy got a prenuptial in the negotiations.

And the plot device where the big boobed blonde was calling her husband by his last name Wade made no sense to me. All in all it was good, but nothing special. Thanks for the entertainment, you're a good writer and even though this isn't your best, it's still better than 90% of the content on this site.

Extraordinary, HDK! Hung on every word!

Ohhh lord page 5 and 6 was hard to swallow. Hick’s overall temperament and approach just seems so unreal. From being falsely arrested and Shanghaied into being a coach and casually accepting it. From the constant put downs and insults from Rachel. Which he smiles and ask for more. To this ridiculous declaration of marriage with millions of dollars on the line with ethical and legal ramifications; all because she was mistaken but failed to communicate in any way what the issue might be. Fantasy and all but this looks like a future setup for LW story. Where the wife feels she is entitled to everything including some strange because the husband is meek and spoils her rotten.

I knew it would be a good day when I saw HDK had posted a story. I was not disappointed!!! Great job

Love your humor and stories. Another great effort. I found myself wondering what name would yield Hick as its nickname; better than Kock, I suppose. Fortunately the Beatles had many, many hits; not to mention Wings and the Traveling Wilburies - you may need to pick up the pace.

A fun read.

Mad. Bonkers. Loved it. Trying to think if it's National Humour Day or not? Top fom writing from beginning to end but the "coercion" pieces at start and end were brilliant. End was a little short and sharp but a good 5 star story throughout.

norman rockwell comes to mind. that little scheme from that cop and judge could have fucked that guys life up badly if it had gone wrong. small town gossip that type of accusation is a death sentence. guess my brush with "criminals with badges" left me jaded. that little stunt of theirs would have pissed me off

What a great and fun story! HDK is an extremely versatile writer. I think he could write a phone book and make it interesting.

Page 1

Call a lawyer and gtfo of crazy town.

Silly but a lot of fun

What can I say? A good solid fun read. It won't win any prizes but who gives a crap? I enjoyed it and it was my first venture into the romance category. I'll be back! cd 5 stars!

I read all the comments before writing mine.

laptopwriter said it all: "What a great and fun story! HDK is an extremely versatile writer. I think he could write a phone book and make it interesting."

Some writers here have much more skill than I ever will.

5 *****!!

Burninglove

Pretty good tail, as in many stories like this the insulted party should never jump to conclusions and always confront the person about their grievances. Not all you see is always as it appears. Good writing!

I hope she kept her Ticket to Ride.........

It turned into a funny, adult Hallmark'ish story. I'll admit the opening court stuff annoyed the hell out of me. Even in a fictional story that's ruin your life stuff. It all worked out in the end. 5* of course.

A well written lighthearted, fun, romantic fantasy five stars.

the initial bit really pissed me off so I couldn't really enjoy the rest. I did finish the story, but a cop and a judge conspiring to screw over the guy who helped her is pretty fucked up! I really didn't like this at all!

Great to have HDK back! Liked the story; knew where it was going but a fun journey.

@hornier_bastard: lighten up, Francis. It's called suspension of disbelief.

@HDK: thanks for the story, good to have you back; the ending seemed and disjointed, though.

LOVE it.

Nicely done. Lap Top Writer's comment says it all.

Anoth five from me

carvohi

Fabulous Story and like so many brilliant Authors we are left hoping for an Epilogue.

Thanks for Sharing this Brilliant Story with us

You've got My Vote 5 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

super

I haven’t laughed along with a story, as much I did with this one. Well done! Finn

A fine start with easy, slow plot and character development in this well written tome. Plenty of humor to keep everyone chuckling. The poolside blonde cowboy style romp was a great device to introduce the major conflict. The conflict rolled out nicely.

Then,

the friggin' wheels fell off with a "jump the shark" moment in the big employee meeting. Seriously? The owner of the company bases his plans to invest in the company's future upon the willingness of Rachel to marry him? How did he determine that she would not simply continue her clear refusal to associate with him? The continuing humor does not revive the OTT ultimatum. The plot suddenly lacked realism - it simply became silly.

I really, really liked this story until the ultimatum. HDK, you lost me there. However,

Keep 'em comin'. (I'll probably like the next one...)

Very funny story to begin with then the let down then back to the humorous 'negotiations' part. What fun, of course this could turned into a LW story if the guy just got up and walked away because Rachel jumped to bad conclusions so readily and suspected him of cheating. But the auther bent the other way and Hicks new he wasn't guilty of anything and kept pursuing her. Oh well! good story second time around.

Abuse of power by elected officials. What a laugh riot... We don't live in the 50's anymore, and these days that kind of stunt gets people killed, at worst, and ruins lives at best. On top of that... indecent exposure is a sex offense. Conviction can/in some jurisdictions automatically must include being added to the permanent sex offender registry. Not exactly conducive to coaching a young girls' softball team, no?

I'm not rating this story until I've finished it, but using a gun (which is what the legal system is: a literal and metaphorical deadly weapon, with unspeakable power, frequently abused) to set up your relative with an attractive potential partner...yeah. I'm going to take a break and read the rest when I'm less irritated. It wouldn't be *unfair* to keep going in my present mood, and rate from that perspective, but I'd actually like to try and enjoy the story, despite its (in my opinion) extremely flawed initial plot motivating conflict (can't recall the term right now), especially because I know you write stories I enjoy reading, and a single misstep doesn't change that history. And I could use a good story right now.

PS: if the police officer had instead offered to skip booking at the sheriff's department in exchange for peacefully heading directly to the courthouse, indicated she knew the judge, and agreed to fill out a simple ticket for public indecency/disturbing the peace/jaywalking that could be handled in traffic court...this would make more sense and be less upsetting. As it is...in what world does a deputy sheriff or police officer get to arrest someone on a charge that serious, not book him, not involve a prosecutor, and just drag him straight before a judge with no paperwork?

PPS: sorry, I wrote the first part before bed, and waited til morning in case I was overly harsh. The additional time let some other issues percolate, hence the Wall O Text you see here.

i was reminded of the early chapters in 'Lady in Red' - which is a good thing. Thank you HDK. Happy Christmas and looking forward to LOTS more of your work in 2022.

It's a romance. It's a comedy. It's over the top silly. You laugh. You don't build anything when you critique it in an inappropriate, absurd way. Having written that, five stars. No less. Rachel's healing is fun to read.

It's ridiculous, over-the-top, probably felonious, and seems like a bad 70's sitcom.

That said, it caught me at the first few paragraphs and I read the whole damn thing, laughing and cheering for the characters. It will probably never make the Hallmark Channel, but nice job and a fun and uplifting read. A nice break from some of the usual drivel.

Take a bow!

Wow. Some people take themselves way to seriously but then again that is the sign of our contentious times. I’ll have you know that workplace romance is alive and well. Certainly not as over the top as portrayed but come on this is written to be comedic. Being a co-business owner with my wife I’m fully aware of how “heated” negotiations can become…

Second reading and still over the top but I had a smile on my face all the through the story. 5 stars

Delightful, uplifting comedy. THANK YOU!!!

Wish I could give more than 5 stars for this excellent work!

Particular Reader

Ok. A great story, as ever with HDK. The final scene was a bit over the top, 'groan worthy', but still a fun and heart-warming story. Thanks for another fine read.

was really a good story.

i think it should have gone bit further

It's stories like this that demonstrate that HDK is one of the most talented authors on this site.

Story reads like trailer park trash

Good story, although his reputation was poorly impacted during the court scene, to say nothing if the video sharing.

Well now...

A good storyline, crazy romance, a little conflict l, another of humor and a happy ending. All in all 5*. Thanks for sharing.

DP

Noice! …very nice story! So enjoyable! Thank-you

What a great love story, the slow build in their relationship, their falling in love and then when Rachel mistakenly saw Hick's cousin with his wife it seemed that the storyline had gone off of the rails. But in the end, even though the storyline didn't say it all worked out for the best and they lived happily ever after. Gets my 5-star vote.

I love the part about the night of intensive negotiations and revisitng key issues.....

Blackrandi keeps citing you as mentor and i'm her fan...So i decided to look at your story list. They are almost all LW category...Which i've avoided.

This one was pretty good, if given to push the edges of credulity.

I suppose that the LWs aren't all heart wrenching and depressing..

Guess i'll give a few of yours a try and see.

Gotta say that LW needs to be subdivided.

5*

The realism disappeared toward the end.

Extremely naive, but fun.

A good fun story. A typical Harddaysknight story.

I agree with rayirony though.

LW should be split into 2 categories. The BTB and RAAC stories are diametrically opposed coming from opposite ends of the spectrum. They each appeal to a completely different type of reader.

Its the same for voyeur exhibition stories. They are completely different stories describing two separate fetishes that are anathema to each other.

The ending was dreadful

Started out really well, loved the characters, but the ending was eye-rolling levels of bad. 4*

Love It !

Let's be honest Rachel did not deserve the attention and endearment of the Protagonist. I'm not sure why this author is such a Man Hating Bitch but they act like Men have no capacity to make rational, reasoned decisions regarding our love lives or our lives in general.

I mean seriously she's attractive ok so what there are literally millions of attractive girls in the World. Her attitude, her persona her general behaviour towards other people let alone her behaviour towards him are all major Alarm Bell's.

I mean if a girl has a real problem respecting you while dating why the fuck would she change during marriage? People don't change if they act a certain way before, that's exactly how they will act later. And that's even more true in stressful situations her saying Fuck in front of a bunch of teenage girls was the absolute end for me.

But this author has to make the protagonist fall in love with the biggest shrew possible because of course he needs to be put in his place by an independent Woman 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Enjoyed the story until the meeting about the factory.To me it went rapidly downhill from then on.

Was this really a romantic story? Police and judge harassing a good Samaritan. Rachel suddenly liking Hick as soon as she finds he is rich owner of a palatial house. Rachel using Lance as a tool to insult Hick. Rachel's family pestering her to marry Hick. Hick using his position of power to force marry Rachel.

There was no love anywhere in this story. Only manipulation.

This story could have and should have continued on for at least as much time as needed!!! I REALLY enjoy it.

I stopped reading after Rachel confronted Hick about defending her brother in front of the entire softball team. She’s a ridiculous character with no sense of dignity.

Just as good the second time around.

Light and funny. You had me chuckling from the moment the cop threatened to tazer him.

Thanks,

Frank

seems like the title is wrong, should be "your going to lose that guy". Meaning Rachel needs to pull her head out of her ass and see what she has.

One of this writer’s best efforts.

You had a good story going all the way until you decided to rush the ending.

This is the third story you have done this with, slow down. It will not hurt the reader to wait a little longer!

It should be under Romance/Humor, so I could give it ten stars!

A surprise! An actual great non-cuck tale.

Bill S.

Very funny romance. Of course, the ending was telegraphed from the beginning, but how else could it have ended. 5-stars.

A great story I was crying with laughter through it

LOL, good dialogue at times with all the double entrees and final negotiations.

Would gave been better if she told him what she saw when he came to the house. The business meeting and proposal was ludicrous. Ended up being rather silly at the end!! Tracking Barnes and busting hisballs would be vetter

Great fun story. No need to take it seriously.

LMJ

I read it several times.mine of my favourite stories from one of my favourite authors! Thanks hdk

God bless Elmer.

5 stars a adult romcom that you need to film

Funny story, very nice. Enjoy many of your stories.

I was laughing so hard at some of the sections.

Very well don!!

This seems to be one of the few I have missed prior, a very good story HDK. This won't be my last read. Thank you.

somewhere east of Omaha

4 Stars on a nice story . GW .. Their were some great lines in this story but , Getting the day after super Bowl a paid holiday was a real reach .

will you finish (THE LADY IN RED) you stopped in 2019 you have readers who are looking for it PLEASE FINISH IT The story is very good Thank You ZEZK 7474