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Still Life

byMungoParkIII©
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Comments (18)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous06/03/07

nice try

just didnt work for me. profound, but the ending seems disconnected. remember the line "thin line between love and hate"?

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by z00time06/03/07

Good

Very deep. VERY, very sad!

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by Erotonaut06/03/07

Doesn't add up

If he loved his wife so much, why did he kill her? There's no hint in the story, so the "twist" is more of a gimmick constructed to justify the final line of dialogue.

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by Decayed Angel06/03/07

Read closer Ghostwords

It's all there... "Sadly, Harry knew the problem, it seemed each time he started to work on the single image he would compose the page as if for a second image, a second fruit, a second vase. Each time the sensuous curves of his drawings brought his wife to mind, that second image was there goading him, haunting him." -------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------


"In his magazines he could find and study any number of individual images where the artist could focus on a singular fruit, a flower, a woman without anything more. But for Harry it was impossible, that other object, another fruit, that other person was burned forever into his consciousness." -------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------- -------------------


Read the last sentence of each of those paragraphs. It's all there, you just have to read.

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by Anonymous06/03/07

Maybe he should have

looked at a picture of a cunt and been reminded of his wife's cunt. Maybe he should have looked at a picture of a big cock and been reminded of the guy that would fuck his wife sensless, while he looked at pictures of vases...whooshit. Talk about crap. This is the essence. Perhaps he can get butt fucked in prison by Bubba while looking at Better Homes and Garden.

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by SleeplessinMD06/03/07

Excellent!

Story read like almost like a poem.

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by KOLKORE06/03/07

Overall nice, but shouldn't it be ALIVE?

Yea, I saw it the same way as Sleepless -and I love Hybrids, they are the best breeds (so to speak). Not meant to be nit picking, but seeing that this is the central image of the story, it kind of stood out for me. If we wanted to be accurate wouldn't we have said at the final line: it is 'still alive' (the memory; her memory; the murder; his love) - an ADJECTIVE; rather than 'still life'- as if it was a NOUN? I can understand of course the reason for the selection of "still life" (the standard style of labeling themes in art works), but for it to work it has to actually fit into a normal speech, It can't be forced...or else it calls attention to the fact that there was an ATTEMPT (which did not work, language wise) to super impose a piece of the discussion and turn it into a metaphor for the image of the dead/ALIVE woman. It stands out because other wise the author has a good grasp of the language and makes an impressive and sensual use with it. So is it that important that it's worth forcing a wrong use of the language?

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by Anonymous06/03/07

Well There's Always

Still life abstracted into art - into her final posture - into his room and board of finality.

Aren't you deep and talented - nice work - Thanks & Regards

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by zed006/04/07

HUH???

In prison of despairs, our champion challenges our perceptions of events past precedent.

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by bornagain06/04/07

Well Written

I think your story is good but where is the story you have it in the Loving Wifes section but there isnt any wife in the story and it is to short where is the rest of it there has to be a beginning to a story not some mumbo jumbo.
Pat

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by angiquesophie06/04/07

lovely

lovely

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by Alvaron5306/04/07

Well done

Good character study. Thank you.

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by Anonymous06/04/07

Poetic or Symbolic

Yeie, we are celebrating murder...deep, so deep....

So here we have a psycho who masturbastes as he remembers the wife he killed. Romantically, he remembers her bountiful curves thanks to a fruit. After he comes, he remembers that there is a second image now superimposed in his memory which affects his ability to draw. I almost cried at the injustice that our poor poetic, artistic psycho might never be able to render a beautiful still life...incidentally, I have in my dining room this gorgeous picture with a lovely bowl of pears which now I am seeing in a new light. But I digress... Nothing like waking up in the morning to the image of a psychotic murderer years later, masturbating to the wife he killed. Sorry, but there's nothing symbolic or poetic about that.

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by Anonymous06/04/07

What did he do?

Did he murdre his wife? Did she have an affair? Did she burn the Sunday roast?? Come one give us some help here because I'm not feelin' the love.

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by Anonymous06/04/07

What did he do?

Did he murdre his wife? Did she have an affair? Did she burn the Sunday roast?? Come one give us some help here because I'm not feelin' the love.

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by KOLKORE06/04/07

This author is too shy...

Ok, so I'll do it. I believe in talking "shop" -that is when we discuss literary or poetic issues on the public board. We critic, compliment; in return as a reader I am more than ready to be corrected as it happened more than once.
The author drew my attention to the fact that the statement "still life" could be correctly written if it comes as an exclamation by the jailed artist conveying his perception of lost time while in the confine of jail, i.e. it feels like it's still a life sentence.
As far as additional critical comments goes which conveyed dissatisfaction with lack of more details on the facts leading to the present situation, I do not feel that the story as presented here asks us to judge on the merit of this guy's actions. He has been already tried. The story does not focus on accessing justice but on dealing with memories and the perception of time. Are these the catchiest themes for the regular Loving wives story? Of course not. It's much more abstract (and thus reminiscent of a poem in prose).
Another question is why did the author choose this section? Well, some one would have asked the same (only in reverse) if the selection would have fallen on the Poetry section, and in NO WAY there would be such level of feedback there…It is still the prevailing norm there (believe it or not) that you best respect a poem with as little as possible feedback…So –overall, I'd say not a bad decision. And people could survive something different once in a while.

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by peggytwitty06/05/07

Well done short note of a mans thoughts

I liked it! It would be nice to know the facts behind the incarceration, but it does make your mind wander in this short piece. If it had been more drawn out without explanation it would have been a waste of time. This was a very nice short letter.Thanks for the entertainmentPT

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by tazz31712/10/11

A DOUBLE ENTENDRE FOR A LIFER

no matter what its not memorex. TK U MLJ LV NV

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