All Comments on 'Rita, A Wife Seduced'

Why did you rush the ending?

Excellent concept, many things to like about the story, BUT....proofing, typos and such impose upon your audience. Clean it up. On the plus side, racy stuff. My experience with Asian gals are limited but the word "firecracker" comes to mind. Keep at it!

I loved your seduction. It was hot, especially with Rita's weak protests. You easily could have added to the story by sharing how this seduction affected her marriage. Would she pay for her desires? She must have known what was going to happen when she went back to his office on Saturday. If she hadn't wanted it she would have avoided the doctor, or at least not entered the office and closed the door.

Please write again. You have good talent. Use an editor. It's hard to edit our own stuff. Perhaps you could do a chapter 2 on this story. We would like to find out more about what happens to this character.

This story was totally disgusting and I hope her husband find out what kind of slut he's married to and throw her overboard. No man needs a slut like this.

when reading an erotic story,i don't care if the wife is a slut, the bigger the slut the better the story.Your story has its good points, and the story line was excellent.I think you should write a series about the doctor,make him the main character, and tell his adventures.That could lead into a multi-chapter story.All you need to do is use a spell checker and you will be in good shape. thanks for the good post....Rich

learn the PROCESS of basic writing, first, before actually sitting down to banging out a story? <p>

++++++++++++++++ <p>

"Rita do you want my cock, he asked." <p>

"Yes she said, yes I want your cock now." <p>

With that he pushed his huge cock in her tight but wet pussy and gently spread her apart. She felt this massive thing filling her , yes yes she moaned as he started to bury deep in her .<p>

She placed her hands on his shoulders and held him as his cock could moved even deeper in her . <p>

"Yes so good, oh yes, do it to me she said. <p>

"Do what to you Rita, what do you want?" <p>

The need for an editor is evident. I encourage you to continue to write... and to learn from an editor. The story idea was/is a good one.

Just another weak willed wife and a dumb husband.

Send her home pregnant with the doctor's round-eyed baby.

hopefully consequnces for doctor and wife is ex-wife

With no consequences or husband involved, this is nothing more than a poorly written erotic coupling story.

It was a good story that coulda been a great story except for all the spelling and grammar errors.

Not an unusual thing for an Asian wife to be a whore.

He asked her for one more to which she aged? Geez, man, have someone proof-read your stories — I don't think you even bothered to read it yourself before you submitted it — "use your tongue.lick ithe whispered to her"? Really?

But that aside, it was pretty good.

once again an author that has no idea how to finish a a story