All Comments on 'Lydia's Surprise'

It was a sweet story, more romantic than incest but it was good.

You slipped past the separation, but the rest was up to your standards.

it's a shame you should have started with them as kids and worked up to this story it would have been a much better story then

i agree with the others it needs some back ground also you never said if the parents were still alive and if so do they find out this should have been chapter two of three the first to tell about them as kids and the typhoon then this and then the tird to tell about her meeting the parents and them having kids

First I liked the story, sort of a Fairy Tale of Rich man Poor girl, live happily ever after type.

I disagree on having chapters previous to this as it would then lose the surprise of their being brother and sister.

However, it wouldn't hurt to have subsequent chapters where she may not remember the typhoon and he could relate the story as a flashback and how they lost one another and what he went through in his search for her. Also perhaps some background on both of them, how did he become rich and she ended up in Journalism.

As for the parents, that can be optional, were they killed in the typhoon, or did they survive, are they still alive and do reunite with their parents. I can imagine what the parents might think.

But this is up to the author not us "self appointed" critics. Truthfully if we all knew so much to critique it then perhaps we should write the story ourselves! (Big Grin)

Jethro

i wish the webmasters would start deleting unfinished stories or force writers to either finish them or find some one that will. over 50% of the stories here are unfinished time to demand action bitch at the writers and the webmasters and demand action NOW!!!!

as i was reading your story it is clearly evident that you have never travelled ... London is 5/7 hours AHEAD of US depending on which part so if you leave at 8am it is already 1pm in London and plus at least a 7 hour flight !! do the math do the research ok ..

one reader says it would ruin the surprise if the story started at the begining is say WHAT SURPRISE IT'S THE INCEST AREA SO IT HAS TO BE A RELATIVE. DELETE AND REWRITE IT EITHER START AT THE BEGINING AND WORK FORWARD OR AS SOON AS HE TELLS HER ABOUT THE STORM YOU SHOULD DO A COMPLETE FLASHBACK AND TELL IT ALL. AS IS IT SUCKS AN NEEDS TO BE DELETED.

I disagree with the HATERS of this story. I enjoyed the content despite the lack of attention to details.

I enjoyed it and I don't listen to the haters, everybody has their own opinion