This has to be the most over the top, preposterous story I've ever had the displeasure of reading. My God! The only reason I kept reading was to see if it could get even more absurd, and sure enough, it did.
I hate to write such a harsh review, but it has to be said. Please get yourself a proofreader or two who can give you some kind of reality check before you go off the deep end. The whole thing rests on the premise that he was unable to simply leave town, but there's no reason whatsoever for that to be true, especially after his daughter left. There are probably millions of people who have simply up and left, and assumed a new identity. He would have had to be completely insane not to do that since about the day after his wedding. But to add to the absurdity, you claim that one major reason he didn't run off was because he loved his wife! WTF! You're not even internally consistent.
You really didn't have to go THAT far, over and over again. You could have had a decent turning the tables on the cuckold story if you dialed down all the over the top elements by a factor of about ten. No, make that a hundred.
Don't worry, I'm sure that someone out there can help you with your type of delusions.
Ignore the first two comments.I loved it because it was so over the top,satirical and ironic.
Im giving you a 50 bc they first two guys are partly right-this story wasnt consistent and pretty much came off retarded. first off, why the fuck didnt he leave on his honeymoon? bc from you wrote, sophie wasnt there and clearly his wife was bat shit crazy. second, wtf did you mean, he still basically loved her and was old fashioned? jesus christ, that was one of the dumbest things i have ever read. now, that being said, it was so over the top and stupid, i couldnt give it a zero. oh yea, the whole pseudo incest and porn star daughter was pointless. so what, after nearly being raped by her mom and lover, she runs away to become a pornstar and then meets up with her non biological father who loves her in a non fatherly way and they decide to continue in the porn buisness with him as a her manager/lover/gangbanger #4. the same guy who appears to be against cheating and affairs and blah, blah, blah... is now loving having a slut/whore partner? so hes cool with it bc she involved him and doesnt threaten to castrate him with her dyke lover? wow, just wow.
Absolutely loved it! Took me away from all the trouble and turmoil of the day for a wonderful adventure and made me horny as hell doing it!
It was actaully, suprisingly well written, unbelieveable, and held what little attention span I have left.
Thanks for pure enjoyment.
This was so over the top, it was funny! I thought the way you handled the letter and the father's narrative being seperated by bouts of sex to be quite interesting. Loved it as a piece of escapism writing. Makes any problems I have seem negligible! Just brilliant!
It is too bad that the good writing and the great sex had to be spoiled by the anger and torture and the hate.
liked it - crazy - weird - extreme - only 2 things that would make it smarter -
1. needed to have concrete reason not to have it annuled - and
2. the fact she would stay porn star doing gang bangs etc - making her seem like she was too similiar to her whacked out mother.
But it was so out there - fanatical, I wanted to see what would happen at the end - the negative feedback of the other people's comments were very "Delores" like, :) so I guess it was not so unrealistc in context in regards to crazy bitches...
the description of the sex was really erotic. it was obvious that it wasn't incest. i loved how the stupid ass wife suffered through all her diseases and in her dying moments. i also loved how everybody got screwed when they got the claps, and got screwed again when justice finally triumphed! it was just awesome in a very dark way when the sheriff's department killed itself through arson. people, the moral of the story is don't take free pussy without a second thought! pussy always comes with an agenda, especially for it's own pleasure!
I'm with Oldwayne. This is some crazy ass fun.
Nope, does not work on any level. Over the top does not even get close.
Craziest piece of crap I've ever read here, and I loved ever word of it! Thanks for an entertaining story.
this did not end the way i expected it to.
I think it was excellent, except for the part about Sophie going to get gang-banged. And it also sucks that she's not his genetic daughter.
... right before she died. But since she was crazy as a shit house rat , anyway, it probably would not have registered. Very entertaining.
Darn good entertainment.
So over the top and I laughed myself silly. I'm sure there were others that should have gotten killed in that story, but you covered the main ones. And in very inventive deaths. Thanks for the wonderful silliness.
Certainly completely absurd ... BUT - well written escapist and thoroughly entertaining. This could carry a warning label that says, "Not To Be Taken Seriously", but anyone who does is crazy themselves. I really enjoyed it; IMHO worth more than 5.0 if it was available.
Best piece of absurd fantasy I've read since I've finished all of Terry Pratchett's books.
BTW you owe me a new keyboard and monitor-the beer stains just won't come out.
I have read it about three more times despite it being over the top, especially in the wedding vows but entertaining nevertheless. Thank you for writing, author.
I'm staring at my screen in utter shock. Really! This has to be the most twisted, fucked up, way out there story... That I actually finished reading. ...and I think I really enjoyed it in some twiSteD fashion. Im still not sure, its still seeping into my brain.
It is, without a doubt, the most novel and unique story that Ive read in a long time. I actually gave it a Five, something I rarely do, hell I don't think Ive given out a five in over a year! Like the guy below who says you owe him a keyboard, you would prolly owe me one too for spewing my coffee a few times, If I hadn't been reading on my tablet in bed, heh.
Gawd, that was fucked up!
...alternate story pieces I wouldn't mind you writing as sub story add ins...
1. Him tracking down the bitch wife and her psycho slut and creatively killing them with prejudice
2. Video taping the cops fire bombing the place and having the state police haul them off to prison, while at the same time having the FBI get tips about the police basement project. Oh hell, who am I kidding, if they had hauled me down there they would have to die along side the bitch wife and her psycho slut!
...and why the hell did he stay in the house with his daughter when he knew they were going to be bombing and shooting the place up?
...man that was fucked up!!
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